


Christmas Vacation

by cr8zymommy



Series: M/R Series [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Christmas, Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, Meet the Family, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 22:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 46,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cr8zymommy/pseuds/cr8zymommy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas at Derek and Spencer's house, but vacation doesn't always go the way you plan!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*Week Before Christmas – Around a month after the end of Undercover*

Life had been going pretty good in the three months since the end of their undercover assignment. That was one thing that Spencer Reid would admit to anyone who asked him. The past three months had been some of the best months ever. He and Derek seemed to grow closer and closer by the day. One thing that Spencer had worried about while working undercover with his best friend was that—once everything was taken care of at home and things settled—he and Derek might lose that closeness they’d gained undercover. That hadn’t happened. If anything, they were closer. That bond was there, stronger than ever. Everything afterwards with Michael seemed to have only strengthened that bond.

But bright and early this December morning, Spencer seriously contemplated hurting his boyfriend. When Derek chuckled again, Spencer’s thoughts turned just a little more violent. He tightened his grip on the blanket and glared at the underside of it. Even his head was covered.

Somewhere outside the covers he heard Derek’s voice, warm with good humor. “Come on, pretty boy. It’ll be good for you! I’ll even have some coffee waiting for you when we get back.”

“Derek.” Spencer moved the blankets just enough to be able to look out at his boyfriend’s face. “I love you. But seriously? I’m not going running with you in the _cold_ , in the _snow_. Now…go away before I hurt you.”

“You said you’d come with me!”

This time he couldn’t hold back his growl. “Go. Away.” He tightened his grip on the blankets. Derek had ripped blankets off him before and he wasn’t up for that this morning. It was too cold. “I’m freezing and I’m tired and I am _not_ going running and if you think I am, you have gone absolutely insane overnight. I am not coming out of these blankets, Derek Morgan.”

There was a long pause in which Spencer prayed that Derek would just go on his run. When he heard footsteps, he sighed into the bed. A second later he squealed when the blankets on the other side lifted up. Derek slid in, draping the blanket over both of them. “I’ll just have to come in with you, then.” He said huskily. When Derek grabbed him and pulled him close, a grin spread over Spencer’s face at the feel of skin on skin. Derek had stripped before climbing into bed.

Rolling over, Spencer stretched his body over his boyfriend’s, suddenly much more awake. “This is exercise I don’t mind indulging in with you.” He told his lover. Then he was kissing him, all thoughts of going back to sleep long gone.

* * *

Hours later, the two were sitting at work, trying not to smile at each other too much. Spencer found himself wanting to grin the whole morning. Waking up to go running was not something he wanted to do; but waking up to a little bedroom exercise? _That’s definitely something a man can get used to_ he thought to himself with a mental chuckle. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize that Derek had told Emily about trying to wake him up until he heard their laughter and Emily’s return comment.

“You actually tried to get Reid up to go running this morning?” Emily asked with a laugh. She leaned back in her chair, a file folder in one hand, amusement written on her face. “And you thought…what? That it would actually work?”

“He’s the one that agreed that going running with me would be a good idea!” Derek argued. There was a hint of a grin at the corner of his mouth, though.

From where he sat doing his paperwork, Spencer gave a quick roll of his eyes. But he couldn’t resist looking up at Derek and smiling a little. “You really thought it would work?” He made a small ‘tsk-tsk’ sound. “Like I’ve said, Derek. You’re cute when you’re stupid.” Laughing, he ducked when Derek threw a paper ball at him. He stuck his tongue out at him, mocking him for missing.

The older man narrowed his eyes, on the verge of retaliation, when Aaron called out to them. “Now, now, children. Don’t make me come down there.”

They looked up to find their Unit Chief leaning on the railing in front of his office. The man wore a tiny smirk as he watched the interaction of the team. It did his heart good to see them all joking and laughing together. Even more so to see the smile on Spencer’s face. It was like watching their youngest slowly come back to life. Seeing the smiles and happiness and laughter showed Aaron exactly how much of those had been gone from Spencer before. Of course, they all knew the reason why it had been like that before, but now it was nice to watch the healing process. Everyone on the team approved fully of Derek and Spencer’s relationship; the two had never been happier.

That showed as the two grinned at one another before turning their grins to Aaron. “Sorry, Hotch.” Derek called out, not looking sorry at all. Spencer at least managed to fake a look of apology. “Sorry, Sir.”

“Just contain yourselves for a little while longer. Then we’re on break and you’ll be free to go home and be as big of lunatics as you want to.” Aaron’s words had everyone’s grins growing. Somehow, Aaron and Dave had convinced Strauss that the team needed the break. So, for the week of Christmas and barring any emergency cases, the team had time off. Not only that, but they weren’t going to have as long a workday as normal that day either.

Derek laced his hands together behind his head and kicked back in his chair. “A whole week off. Man, I can’t believe it.”

“So long as it doesn’t end up like last time.” Spencer’s words had two of the profilers shivering slightly. The last time they’d tried to take a period of time off was when the Fisher King case had happened. Being reminded of that had Derek scowling at his boyfriend. He picked up a pen and threw it at Spencer, making it bounce off the younger man’s shoulder. “Don’t jinx us, Spencer!”

Another voice joined in the mix, moving in up beside Aaron. “What happened last time?” Dave asked the group.

Spencer grabbed the pen off the floor where it had bounced to and waited until Derek looked up at Dave to say “The Fisher King case.” While Derek was distracted, Spencer threw the pen, hitting Derek directly on top of his head. Quickly he dropped down, trying to hide behind his files while covering up his snickers. The look of surprise on Derek’s face had Emily holding her stomach and laughing. “Nice shot, Reid!” she called out.

In response, Derek threw a highlighter at her, snickering when it went down the front of her shirt. “Two points.” He winked at her.

“Who’s out here scoring?” Penelope asked as she strolled toward them all, a wide grin on her face. “And why wasn’t I invited?”

That had Derek grinning and turning to look at her even as he took aim with another pen. “Hey, baby girl. You know you’re always invited in here.” He said smoothly. Launching the pen, he thrust his hands up when it landed in Spencer’s hair and stuck there.

The two senior profilers shook their heads as they watched the moment progress into a full scale pen-throwing war between Derek and Spencer, with Emily and Penelope helping out on either side as they saw fit. Instead of reprimanding them, the two men watched and grinned. It was good to see that humor back in their team again. It was good to have everyone and everything back the way it should be.

* * *

By the time the end of the day had rolled around, Spencer was beyond bored. He’d already finished all of his paperwork, as well as some of Derek’s and some of Emily’s. Quietly he sat at his desk, reading through one of the many books he kept in his drawer for instances such as this. At one time he would have left and gone home—it was close enough to the end of the day. But since he’d practically moved into Derek’s house, the two commuted together. That meant that Derek was his ride home.

A pair of keys landed on the pages of his book, startling him so badly he almost fell backwards. Wide eyes jerked up and locked on Derek, who was grinning at him. “I tried calling out to you to warn you, pretty boy.” He said by way of apology.

“I was reading, Derek. You know I go to my own world when I read.”

Derek chuckled and shook his head. “You were thinking. I know that look, Spencer. Just like I can see you’re bored out of your mind. Go ahead, sugar. Take the keys and head home. I’ll get Garcia to drop me off at home when I’m done.”

Picking up the keys, Spencer looked down at them for a moment, contemplating. “Are you sure?” He asked when he looked back up.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Go on, Spencer. I’ll see you when I get done here.”

Another short pause and then Spencer was marking his page and putting his book in his desk. He pulled on his jacket, slung on his messenger bag, and then he strolled over to Derek, glancing around to make sure the coast was clear before stealing a quick kiss. “I’ll stop off at the store on the way home. There are a few things we need. Anything in particular you want?” he asked as he straightened back up.

“Orange juice. I think I drank the last of it this morning. Hmm…maybe some beer? Haven’t bought any recently.”

Spencer nodded and let his hand brush against Derek’s shoulder lightly as he went past him to go and let Aaron know he was leaving. Those light touches always made Derek smile. Though extremely affectionate at home, Spencer still wasn’t as comfortable being the one to initiate public touching as Derek was.

Looking away from his boyfriend’s delicious backside, Derek found Emily staring at him. “What?” He asked her. Something about her expression had him wanting to flush slightly.

“You two sounded so…domestic.” Emily chuckled a little. “It was cute!”

Derek rolled his eyes and looked back down at his files. “Ah, shove it, Prentiss.”

* * *

After letting his boss know that he was on his way out, Spencer headed out to Derek’s car, amused that his boyfriend was actually letting him drive it. _Then again, not too surprising. He does say you drive like a grandma so he knows you won’t be speeding and crashing it._ Still, Derek typically didn’t let people drive his car. Whether it was because of the type of car, or because of some other reason, Spencer didn’t know. He didn’t really bother to think about it. To him, it was just another instance of Derek being weird about cars.

That thought amused him as he drove to the store. He also amused himself by changing the station and listening to something classical. Wouldn’t it be funny to see Derek’s face when he got in the car and Mozart was playing? He’d grump and scowl and change it back to something more his style.

The thought of being on break for the next week had Spencer practically floating down the aisles of the store when he got there. To think, a whole week of just him and Derek. _No one to interrupt us at bad moments. No staying at home while Derek goes to work and I’m stuck healing. Nothing but him and me and Clooney. God, it sounds like heaven!_ He had to chuckle at his own thoughts. If anyone could hear what he was thinking, they’d laugh at him for being such a romantic. _Then again, maybe not. People seem to assume that you’re the more romantic one in the relationship._

If only they knew the truth. Spencer was a romantic at heart, yes. There was no denying that. But what others didn’t know was how much of a romantic Derek was. As Spencer sifted through the lettuce—wanting to make a salad with dinner in the next couple nights—he couldn’t help but smile to himself at his memories.

In so many ways, Derek was one of the sweetest people that Spencer had ever known. The man was way more of a romantic than others realized. Spencer remembered one night, two weeks and one day ago, when Derek had taken off earlier than him from work, leaving while Spencer was gone. The younger man had been curious, but when he’d asked Emily where Derek had went, she’d just shrugged and offered him a ride home. When Spencer had gotten home that night, he’d been wonderfully surprised from the instant he walked through the door.

The house had been dimmed. Not completely dark; a concession to Spencer’s fear. He’d followed the only light source to the dining room, where he had only been able to stand there and gasp. The table had been completely decked out—tablecloth, nice dishes, candles, a delicious smelling meal, wine. And best of all, Derek standing beside the table, smiling at him, dressed in the dark black jeans Spencer so loved seeing him in and nothing else. In his hands he’d held just one single flower stalk. A lily of the valley. The standard definition of lily of the valley in the language of flowers was symbolic of ‘Sweetness, Humility, You've Made My Life Complete’. The fact that Derek had taken the time to find that out, knowing that Spencer would know, had almost melted him.

So had started one of the most romantic evenings Spencer had ever had. When he’d asked Derek what the special occasion was, he’d completely lost it when the older man told him that it was the anniversary of the day he’d realized what he felt for Spencer, all those years ago.

A tap against his cart brought Spencer out of his memory and back to the present moment. Embarrassment had his cheeks turning red when he saw a woman trying to get to the lettuce. Quickly he grabbed his and scurried off. _You’ve really, really got to stop doing that!_ He scolded himself.

He made sure not to lose himself in his thoughts as he finished picking up the last of the items he needed. Once he had grabbed the last thing, Derek’s beer and a bottle of wine for himself, he headed to the register and paid for his items. Then he got it all loaded in the car and was taking off for home, making a quick stop at the Chinese restaurant for a quick and easy dinner to take home.

Even after these months, home still sounded wonderful to him. Home didn’t mean the mostly empty apartment that they were _still_ clearing out. Home was the house he shared with Derek.

Once he got home, he could see that Derek hadn’t quite made it yet. So, gathering some of the bags, he kept one hand open so he could unlock the door and let himself into the house. After tossing the keys in the dish on the entry hall table, he brought the bags into the kitchen, laughing as Clooney came barreling down the hallway toward him. The dog barked excitedly while Spencer put the bags down. “Yes, yes, Clooney. Calm down. You need to go out, buddy? Hm?” Though Spencer wouldn’t admit it to the others, he constantly spoke to Clooney as if he was a person who could answer. It was something Derek had caught him at once or twice and found absolutely adorable.

Spencer let the dog out in the backyard and went to bring the rest of the bags in. After that, he set about putting things away. Once that was done, he gathered the food he’d bought, setting it all out on the table. Derek would be home soon enough.

It was amazing how well their lives had meshed together. Life with Michael, even at the beginning, had never been this simple. Even rooming with Ethan when he was younger hadn’t been so comfortable. Spencer had always felt awkward being in a confined space with someone else. Usually his quirks ended up annoying the other person or he was annoyed by theirs. He liked his privacy and he liked to do certain things a certain way. Yet he and Derek had none of those problems.

They acted like they’d been living together their whole lives. Everything seemed to run smoothly for them. Both of them were good housekeepers, so there were no battles about messes. Derek was a little lax on laundry, but that was a chore Spencer didn’t mind so it worked out well. More often than not, Derek was their cook, but Spencer could occasionally manage to make a few meals. Everything just seemed…wonderful.

Chuckling, Spencer picked up the box of Lo Mein off the counter. “Now you really sound sappy.” He muttered to himself. Still, it didn’t take away his smile.

The sound of a car pulling up outside alerted him that Derek was home. Unfortunately, it also alerted Clooney, who came tearing in from the backyard right as Spencer was walking toward the table. Even though he saw it coming, he couldn’t move fast enough to stop it. Clooney raced in the house, catching Spencer right in the legs and sending him toppling to the ground, the box in his hand flying.

Curses filled the air as Spencer pushed himself up off the ground. Noodles were on his head, dangling down into his face. He was covered in Lo Mein. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_ Looking over to Clooney, Spencer glared at him, wiping some of the sauce off his face. In response, Clooney walked over and licked right up the side of his face. “Don’t think that gets you out of trouble, mister.” Spencer grumbled at him. “Dammit, now I’m covered in dinner! Clooney!” The dog was trying to lick more of the sauce off of Spencer, who was busy trying to get him to back off. The dog just pushed at him, knocking him back down again from the half sitting position he’d managed to get into.

The sound of the door opening was drown out by the dog pinning Spencer to the floor and trying to lick the food off of his face and head. “No, no! Clooney!” Spencer shouted at him. He brought his hands up, pushing the dog and failing miserably. “Get off of me! Dammit, Clooney! This was not an invitation for dinner!”

Sudden laughter filled the dining room. Part of Spencer’s brain registered that there was more than one laugh—he vaguely wondered who else was there—but then Clooney was being pulled off of him and a hand was there to help him up. Spencer took the offered hand, glaring at Clooney and Derek both as he was brought to his feet. Instantly he grumbled at his lover. “I swear, Derek. You need to teach that dog not to get so excited at the sound of the car. He heard you pull in and sent me flying in his effort to get to the door.”

Derek didn’t even bother to hide his laughter. He grabbed a paper towel off the counter and wiped over Spencer’s face with it. “I see he sent dinner flying too.”

“Your dog is a menace!”

That just made Derek laugh harder. “You know you love him, pretty boy.”

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat, reminding Spencer of the other laughter he’d heard. Wide eyed, he looked over to see who on earth it was that had seen this whole fiasco. When he saw who stood there, his cheeks instantly turned red and he mentally cursed. _Shit!_ There, standing in front of him were Derek’s sisters, Sarah wearing a look of shock and Desiree wearing one of humor.

_Oh my God. They’re not supposed to be here yet!_ Fran and the girls were supposed to be there for Christmas. It was going to be Spencer and Derek’s official come out to his family. They had no idea that he and Spencer were together. What on earth were the girls doing here now? And if they were here, where was Fran?

Derek’s arm slid around his waist, reading his stress easily and trying to soothe it down. “Sarah and Desi showed up at work. Apparently they decided to come out early and spend a little extra time with me. Mom should be here like planned.”

In the middle of their dining room, with bits of dinner still on his head, Spencer faced his boyfriend’s sisters and wished to God he was anywhere else but there as he brought his hand up and gave a small wave. “Uh, hi.”


	2. Chapter 2

It took everything Derek had not to bust up laughing when Spencer waved at the two women. There were just some things that were never going to change. Spencer wasn’t comfortable with touch from others on a good day; with as embarrassed as he was at the moment it would only make that worse. The image was made even funnier by the food still hanging from him. Valiantly he kept his laughter from slipping out.

Originally the two had planned on telling Derek’s family about their relationship together, over Christmas, but Derek could see that his lover wasn’t going to be up for that kind of conversation. His mortification was easy to see on his face. Derek smiled at him, stopping himself from leaning over and kissing those flushed cheeks. “Why don’t you go take a shower while I get this cleaned up? The girls and I need to talk anyways.”

His suggestion had Spencer looking over at him with both gratitude and surprise. Before Spencer could say anything or form a protest, Derek gave him a gentle smile, hoping Spencer saw the reassurance there. “Go ahead, pretty boy. I’ve got this.”

The gratitude grew a little. Spencer tried to smile at the girls, mumbling something awkwardly as he dashed past them and down the hall. As soon as he heard the door shut, Derek let the snickers out. He looked down at Clooney and shook his head. “You’re going to get your daddy shot, you know that, right? You’ve got to quit running into Spencer.” Still, he reached down and scratched behind Clooney’s ears before putting him in the backyard and shutting the door for the moment. This wasn’t the first time Clooney had run into Spencer; those two seemed destined to crash occasionally. With Clooney being a dog that didn’t pay attention and Spencer spacing and moving without looking where he was going…well, it was just inevitable that they would crash on occasion.

He shot his sisters a grin while he grabbed a washcloth and knelt down to the ground. “Welcome to my house, girls.” He said jokingly. “I know Spencer got me some beer and I bet there’s wine in here if you want to help yourself while I clean this up.”

“Oh, I want some wine, Derek.” Desi said in a teasing voice. She strolled straight into the kitchen, neatly sidestepping the mess Derek was cleaning up. “And while I have that wine, I think you’ve got some explaining to do.”

Sarah moved in as well, slightly slower than her sister. “Yes.” She said quietly. “I’d say so.”

Her tone of voice had Derek worrying a little, but he chose not to focus on it. Instead he continued to clean the mess. By the time he was done, both girls were sitting at the table with glasses of wine and there was a beer waiting for him. He smiled appreciatively at them. Before sitting, he opened the door, letting Clooney back in. The dog followed him over to the chair and laid his head in Derek’s lap when Derek sat down. That made Derek laugh. He scratched behind the dog’s ears. “Don’t give that face to me, Clooney. It’s Spencer you’ll have to suck up to.”

A soft snicker brought Derek’s eyes up to his sisters once more. Desiree was grinning at him over the top of her wine glass. “So.” She drew out the ‘o’ and smirked at him. “Spencer, huh? As in, you and Spencer?”

Derek’s grin was wide and proud. He had no shame about loving the younger man. “Exactly as in me and Spencer.”

“How long?”

“Officially? Oh, round about three months. Ever since the undercover assignment we did together.” Chuckling to himself, Derek took a long pull off his beer. “Spencer could probably tell you how long, down to the minute.”

Laughter bubbled up from Desiree. She stared at him for a long moment, a smile curving her lips. It was enough to make Derek want to squirm. Professional interrogators had nothing on a sister that wanted information. He managed to keep quiet and wait her out, though. Eventually she spoke up once more. “I’m happy for you, Derek. Anyone can see he makes you happy. Hell, you’re practically glowing.” She shrugged and took a drink off her wine again. “Plus, I’d kind of wondered for a while anyways. You do talk about him quite a bit, you know. I had a feeling there was more than just friendly feelings there. I’m glad you two finally bit the bullet and got together.”

Before Derek could say anything, his heart lifting with the warmth of his sister’s answer, Sara finally spoke up. “What?” Her eyes were wide and her mouth dropped open just a little bit. Her face was the picture of shock. Looking from Desiree to Derek, she gaped. “You _knew_?” She asked Desiree. “And you never told me?”

Desiree shrugged once more. “I suspected, yeah. And I didn’t tell you because of this right here. I can see the bitchiness coming out already, Sara. Don’t start.”

Almost instantly Derek tensed. So he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed Sara’s…discomfort. He’d hoped that maybe he’d read her wrong. _Hell, idiot. You know you didn’t. You’re paid to read people’s body language._ It had been more of a wishful thinking on his part. He had hoped so hard that his family would be perfectly ok with everything. That they would support him no matter what was going on in his life or what choices he made. He felt his heart give a little throb. Hardening slightly, he took another pull of his beer and settled his steady gaze on Sara. “You got a problem with Spencer and I, sis?”

Sara looked back and forth between them. “Come on. This is just some big joke, right?” Her tone was slightly wheedling. She was hoping someone would tell her this was a joke. “I mean, really Derek. There’s no way you’re gay.” Snorting, she sat back in her chair. “You didn’t even do a good job on this prank. I know you’re not gay and even if you were, you’d have better taste than that skinny little white boy in there.”

Instantly everything in Derek switched over to defense mode. The protective instinct he felt around Spencer was triggered and he had to work to keep himself from shouting at his sister. No matter what, this was his sister. But that didn’t mean he had to tolerate her insulting Spencer. His glare sharpened and he set his beer on the table. “This aint no joke, Sara. And I don’t want to hear you insult Spencer in our house. He’s my partner and he’s here to stay. You’ll treat him with respect in this house or you’ll find somewhere else to stay.” On that, he would be firm.

His words had Sara’s mouth dropping open. “Are you kidding me? You really expect me to believe you’re dating some geek like him? Derek, he’s not even you’re type! Even if you are gay, you can’t convince me you’re with him!”

“Sara!” Desiree exclaimed. Derek ignored her and focused on Sara. His eyes had gone hard and his one hand clenched his beer bottle tightly. “I told you to watch your mouth, Sara. You’re my sister but that doesn’t mean you get to come in here and act like this. I love him. You can accept that or not, that’s your choice. But I won’t tell you again; don’t you dare sit here and insult him in our house. I won’t stand for it and he doesn’t need to be insulted in his own home.”

“He _lives here_?” Disgust curled her lip. She gave one last look between her siblings before she pushed up from her chair. “There’s no way in hell I’m staying here. This, this isn’t you, Derek. You’re not….you’re not like _this_. And I refuse to stay here while you carry on like this. It’s wrong. Can’t you see that, Derek? It’s wrong!”

He pushed to his feet as well. “How the hell is it wrong?” He demanded. Fury had his voice rising slightly. “I love him, Sara! And you know what? He loves me too! How the hell is something like that wrong?”

“Two men aren’t meant to be together! A relationship is a man and a woman!”

“People said Mom and Dad shouldn’t have been together either because they were white and black.” Desiree pointed out. She’d brought herself to her feet with them and was staring over the table at her sister. She’d been afraid that Sara would react like this whenever Derek decided to come out to them. It just broke her heart to see it happen. “Love is love, Sara. Quit being such a bitch and look at him. He loves that boy! Can’t you just accept that and be happy for your brother?”

“I can’t be happy that he’s doing something wrong!” Sara shouted. She rounded on Derek and glared at him. “Is this…are you like this because of…”

Derek didn’t let her finish that thought. He sliced a hand through the air and glared. His fury was overwhelming now, bringing his voice down to a deadly hiss. “Don’t you dare bring Carl into this. That bastard has nothing to do with Spencer and I. If anything, he made it harder for me to admit that I cared about Spencer. He didn’t _make me_ the way I am.”

“I can’t stay here.” Sara said with a shake of her head. “I just can’t. I’m going to go get a hotel. Are you coming, Desi?”

Desiree shook her head. “I came to visit Derek. Unlike you, I don’t have any problems with this. I’m happy for them, Sares. Can’t you be, too?”

Instead of speaking, Sara shook her head and turned away from them. She walked over to where she’d dropped her bag in the entry way and gathered it up. Without another word she left the house, the door slamming shut behind her. Silence filled the room for a long, tense minute after she left. Finally Derek sighed and dropped back down into his chair. “Well, that wasn’t how I hoped that would go.” He grumbled.

Desiree took her seat again and reached over to rest her hand on his arm. “She’ll come around, Derek. She loves you. This…it’s just a shock for her right now. But I’m sure she’ll come around.”

“I hope so.” It would hurt to lose his sister over something like this. But he wasn’t giving up Spencer for anything.

“I’m sure of it.” Desiree stated confidently. Bringing her hand back over, she picked up her wine glass and took another sip. “At least Spencer wasn’t out here to witness that.” As if just realizing that he was gone, she looked around. “He’s been back there a long time. You think he heard us?”

Looking at the clock, Derek realized how long they’d been out here. Amusement quirked the corner of his mouth. “Maybe. But it wouldn’t have kept him back there. He’s probably on his cell talking to JJ.” At Desiree’s confused look, Derek clarified, “A girl we used to work with. She’s his best friend. He’s probably embarrassed about how he greeted you two and he probably called her to vent and get advice. He was really nervous about meeting you guys and us coming out and I doubt he really wanted to do it with Lo Mein in his hair.”

Laughter filled the dining room. Looking at his sister, Derek decided to push the fight with Sara to the back of his mind for now. Maybe Desiree was right. Maybe she would just take some time to cool off before coming around. They were a family of hot-heads. It wouldn’t be the first time any of them fought, walked away, and came back later to apologize. He hoped that was all it would take this time. _I hope_.

* * *

Sitting on the bed he shared with Derek, Spencer ran a hand through his hair. “It was so embarrassing!” He hissed into the phone. On the other end, he heard musical laughter. “Quit laughing at me, JJ! I had food in my hair. _Food_! And Clooney was trying to _eat it_!”

“Oh, honey. I’m sure it’ll all turn out fine.” JJ tried to reassure him. Even so, she was still snickering as she said it.

He found his lips quirking in a reluctant grin. “You’re only saying that because you weren’t the one with food all over you. I can’t believe it, Jayje. There I was, sitting on the floor, covered in Lo Mein and his sisters standing there staring at me. Derek didn’t even bother to hide his laughter.”

“You would’ve laughed at him too if the positions were reversed.”

His grin stretched wide this time. “That’s beside the point.” His joking chastisement had her laughing once more. Sighing, Spencer lay back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “How am I supposed to go out there and face them now? I won’t be able to stop blushing or stuttering!”

“That’s ok, Spence. That’s kind of typical for you anyways. You probably would have even without this…incident. Just go and be yourself and everything will be fine. They’ll love you! Come on now, what’s not to love?”

No matter what was going on in his life, JJ was always there for him with a reassuring word. Though he was close with his other friends, growing closer and closer with some, she was always his best friend. With her, he was safe to let out his insecurities, the same as he could with Derek. She wouldn’t ridicule him for them or think he was silly. “I’m not exactly the typical person someone might bring home to their mother. I know that I’m not the average male. Me being male will probably be hard enough for them to accept. But, well…look at me. I’m a pretty messed up person, JJ. I come with a lot of baggage.”

Her tone was almost offended on his behalf when she replied. “You’re a wonderful person, Spencer Reid. Sometimes it drives me crazy to hear you talk like that. Morgan loves you, baggage and all. Isn’t that what matters here?”

“Well, yeah. But the opinion of his family members is extremely important as well. Derek is very close with his family and so naturally it will affect him greatly if anyone has adverse reactions to our relationship. No matter what happens in his life, Derek always strives to make his mother proud. To live up to a preconceived image he has for himself. I just, I don’t want him to, I don’t know.” Frustrated, he ran his free hand through his hair.

Like always, his friend knew him well. “You don’t want them to have a negative reaction and cause Derek to rethink being with you.” She summed up his thoughts perfectly. This time, it was her turn to sigh. “Spence, do you really think that one of them having a bad reaction is going to change how Derek feels about you? That it’s going to chase him away from you?”

“I don’t know.” He mumbled. A second later he sighed again. “No. No, it wouldn’t.” Those words gave him a little more strength; a little more courage. “I know it wouldn’t. He won’t let anyone break us apart. If everything with Michael didn’t send him running, I doubt this will. But I don’t want to be the cause of tension between him and his family. It would upset him and it would hurt him, JJ.”

“And if it does, you’ll be there for him, Spence. But remember that he’s made his decision to be with you and nothing will change that. If there’s a problem, all you can do is be there for him and support him. You can’t take it on yourself and try to shoulder it. As his partner, you need to be there for him, but you need to respect him enough to let him deal with it the way he wants to. Just be there.”

“Meaning quit hiding in the bedroom?” He joked, catching on to the subtle hint she was giving him. When she just laughed, he couldn’t resist chuckling as well. “Ok, ok. I get it, Jayje. I’ll quit hiding and go out there. Thanks for listening, though.”

He could practically hear her smile over the phone. “Anytime, Spence. You know that. Now, go out there and face the music. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went!”

“I can do that.” Then, because it had always been felt with this woman who had become like he imagined a sister would be, he mumbled “Love you, JJ.” Though he could say it, he still occasionally got flustered. It was becoming easier and easier for him, though.

“Love you too, Spence. Talk to you tomorrow!”

When he hung up his phone, Spencer took a moment to stare up at the ceiling. JJ was right. He could do this. Maybe he’d blush and maybe he’d stutter—ok he _knew_ he’d blush and he _knew_ he’d stutter—but that didn’t mean he needed to hide back here. So Spencer gathered as much courage as he could and pushed up off the bed. With one last deep breath, he headed out to the living room to find the love of his life.


	3. Chapter 3

When he made his way into the dining room, Spencer found Derek and Desiree sitting at the kitchen table, the both of them laughing long and loud. Clooney was sitting beside his master, head in his lap, watching the two humans. Dinner still sat in its boxes, but Derek had obviously set out plates. There was an empty beer bottle already in the garbage can and another one in front of Derek. As she calmed down, Desiree was pouring more wine into her glass. She caught sight of him and reached over to where a clean cup sat and poured a glass before raising it up toward him. “Hey, Spencer.” She said with a grin.

Heat flooded Spencer’s cheeks. His steps were a little awkward when he made his way to the table and sat down. Gratefully he took the glass from her. “Thank you.”

“Oh, not a problem.” Desiree grinned at him over the top of her glass. “Seeing as how it’s your wine and all. Least I could do is pour you a glass after I’ve already drank two.”

It took everything Spencer had not to down the good wine in one big gulp. He gave her a shy smile and tried not to profile her to gauge her reaction to him and their news. Not just because she was Derek’s sister and he wanted to show her respect, but also because he was a little afraid of what he might discover. There was already a knot in his stomach at seeing that Sara wasn’t in the room. There were no other sounds in the house, telling him that she wasn’t there. A glance when he’d walked out from the bedroom and toward the dining room had showed him that one of the bags was missing from the entryway. His brain easily figured out that Sara had left and it wasn’t hard to figure out why.

 _Great. This is just starting out great, isn’t it? First I make a fool of myself—definitely not the best first impression! Well, not technically a first impression. I have met them before. But the last one wasn’t that great either. But this was my first time meeting them as Derek’s significant other and I somehow managed to end up on the ground with food on my head and a dog licking me. Now Sara’s apparently left and I just_ know _it’s because of Derek and I._

Derek’s hand covered Spencer’s and squeezed, pulling him from his thought. When he looked over, he saw Derek’s warm smile, love bright in his eyes. “Sorry.” Spencer said quickly. He knew he’d been lost in his thoughts again. He gave his lover an apologetic look. Though he knew the answer, he had to ask. “Sara’s gone, I see. She, ah, she wasn’t too…happy?”

“She’s just a hothead, pretty boy. She got a little upset and stormed out. It’s kind of typical for her. Give it time, she’ll come back. Things will be ok.” Derek replied gently. Whether he was trying to convince Spencer or himself, the younger man couldn’t figure out. But he squeezed Derek’s hand back and smiled at him to try and show that he was ok. No matter how much it might bother him that Sara had a bad reaction to their relationship, Spencer knew that it was nothing compared to how it would make Derek feel. He promised himself that he wasn’t going to mope; he would be strong and supportive for his lover.

Setting her glass down, Desiree gave Spencer a sympathetic look. “I take it you heard us, then? Sorry about that. We tend to get a little loud sometimes.”

Instantly he shook his head at her. “No, I didn’t hear anything.” _Probably better that way, from the sounds of it._

Confusion had Desiree’s eyebrows drawing down. “Then how’d you know she was gone and not in the bathroom or something like that?”

“Oh, lots of things pointed it out.” Spencer took a small sip of his wine and tried to keep himself from overreacting to all of this. Things would be ok. They would! He just had to believe that. “There were no other sounds in the house to indicate a person in any other room. When I passed the entry I saw that a bag was missing. Also the lack of wine glass on the table for her and the one in the sink that indicates that she’d already had a glass and it had either been finished or dumped out. Hopefully not dumped; this is good wine. Then there was your body language, the both of you, that indicates a high…” He was cut off abruptly when Derek leaned over and kissed him, shutting Spencer’s brain off just as it always did.

When Derek sat back in his chair again, he grinned at his chuckling sister. “Pardon him. He tends to ramble a little when you get him going on something. I’ve found that’s the quickest way to cut him off.”

“I think I’ll leave that method to you.” Desiree teased. When she saw Spencer’s instant blush, her chuckles grew to a full on laugh. “Oh man, I can see why you like him, Derek. He’s just too darn cute.” Turning to look at Spencer, she winked. “If you were straight, I’d snatch you up in a heartbeat, cutie pie.”

What the hell was a person supposed to say to that? Spencer swore his cheeks just kept growing hotter and hotter. It didn’t get any better when Derek grinned at him and winked as well. “He is pretty damn cute, isn’t he? Especially when he blushes like that. But you’ll have to get your own genius, Des. This one’s all mine.”

“Aw, Derek!” Desiree pretended to whine. “Didn’t Mom teach you anything about sharing?”

Derek scoffed at her. “Share this? Hell no. I don’t share what’s mine.”

Slightly irritated, Spencer jerked his hand from Derek’s and shot his lover a glare. “I’ve had this conversation with Garcia before. I am not a toy or a pet or anything else like that, so quit treating me like one, Derek Morgan.”

His words didn’t even faze Derek. The older man leaned over and kissed the tip of his nose, making Spencer scrunch up his face at him. “I thought you liked it when I _play_ with you, baby boy.” He said in a husky, teasing voice. Almost instantly Spencer’s blush was back. He brought his hand up and pushed against Derek’s chest, shoving him back into his chair as he grumbled “Shut up!” He didn’t get to say anything else, though, as his wrist gave a particularly nasty throb, reminding him that he’d overused it today.

His wince didn’t go unnoticed by Derek. The playfulness was wiped off Derek’s face, replaced with sympathy. “Bothering you today?”

“A little.” Shrugging, Spencer brushed it off, resting his arm on the table to ease his wrist a little. “Just used it a little too much.” He looked up and saw the hint of confusion that Desiree wore and hurried to explain what they were talking about. “I broke my wrist a while back. Though it’s healed, it still tends to ache when I overuse it.”

With a mischievous light in her eyes, Desiree leaned over and smacked Derek’s arm. Her brother turned to glare at her. “Now what was that for?” he demanded. Desiree made a ‘tsk tsk’ sound at him. “If you were taking care of your man right, he wouldn’t have to overuse his wrist, Derek. Come on now.”

The instant her words sunk in, Spencer blushed hotter than ever. He dropped his head down to the table with a soft thunk, trying to ignore the laughter that was now filling the dining room. _Sweet God._ _It’s like having two of Derek in the house. Half the time I barely manage to keep up with him when he teases me. How the hell am I going to manage with TWO? I’m going to spend this entire visit looking like a tomato. I am so screwed._

Apparently Derek decided to take pity on him. He cut off his laughter, smothering it down to chuckles before finally stopping. “Why don’t we eat what’s left of our dinner?” He suggested kindly. His remark only served to remind Spencer of the earlier incident and he groaned loudly. With that sound, Derek and Desiree were laughing once more. Clooney came around the table, shoving his head under Spencer’s arm, trying to get at his face. The younger man lifted his head to glare at the dog. “Oh no you don’t, mister. This is your fault to begin with! If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve had dinner on the table and been able to greet everyone just fine.”

Clooney whined and nudged him more, trying to get at him to lick his face. With a sigh, Spencer moved his hand and rubbed the dog’s head. “There, now go lay down. I’m not trusting you over here while we eat.”

As the dog moved away from the table, Derek started serving food. Spencer felt himself relaxing a little as they all dug into their dinners. The conversation didn’t stop, but this part he had been prepared for. “So, how long have you two been together? And living together?” Desiree asked as she spooned fried rice onto her plate.

“Since the undercover operation, in a sense.” Derek answered her. It was kind of hard for them to define how long they’d actually been together. In a way, they’d gotten together while undercover, and yet they hadn’t officially been together. Spencer had still been with Michael at the time. “We lived together on assignment, but Spencer’s lived here with me since we came home.”

“That long?” Desiree exclaimed. She set her chopsticks down to look back and forth between the two of them. “You waited this long to tell us? Mom’s gonna kill you for keeping it secret for so long!”

Looking down at his hands, Spencer grimaced slightly. “Things were a little—complicated, at first.” He said quietly. Old memories flashed in his mind, pushed resolutely back down. “There were some things we had to take care of before we could worry about anything else.”

Desiree may not have been a profiler, but she recognized the tension in Spencer’s body. She decided to save the rest of her questions for a later time; maybe when she could get Derek alone. Instead, she switched the conversation, launching into a story about one of the Morgan cousins and their newest boyfriend. It was enough to break the tension in the room and to bring back their lighthearted mood. As Spencer ate his dinner, he found himself enjoying Desiree’s company. She was quite a bit like Derek. Easy going, with a quick smile and good humor. The two siblings bantered back and forth in a way that had Spencer smiling even as he felt slightly envious. He’d never had that kind of easy bond with anyone until Derek.

By the time dinner was done, the three were still laughing together. Spencer had brought his feet up in his chair and had folded his arms over his knees, resting his chin there. The wine and the warm conversation were lulling him down toward sleep and he was quite content to let it take him there.

 _This wasn’t so bad_ he couldn’t help thinking. _Maybe Sara didn’t react so well—I’ll have to see if Derek wants to talk about that later so I can make sure he’s really ok. But Desiree seems to genuinely be pleased with us. She’s a kind woman, too, and just as warm and funny and sweet as Derek is. She’s easy to relax around. Easy to talk to. Plus, she seems perfectly at ease right now. She didn’t even blink when Derek kissed me earlier. That’s definitely a good thing._

A warm kissed pressed against Spencer’s temple. He blinked sleepily, trying to focus his eyes. When he finally did, he saw Derek bent over him, smiling down at him. “Come on, baby boy. You’re going to hurt your back if you sleep in that chair like that.”

“M’fine.” Spencer mumbled at him. He was enjoying himself, sitting here and listening to them. It was nice.

Derek chuckled and took hold of Spencer, guiding him to his feet. “Sure you are, baby boy. But Desi and I are ready for bed and you know I won’t go to sleep without you.” Over Spencer’s head, Derek threw a wink at his sister who smothered a laugh behind her hand. The two had been watching Spencer sleeping for almost ten minutes now. Neither were really too tired, but Derek knew that Spencer would stay there all night if he thought Derek and Desiree were going to, so he shamelessly lied to his lover to get him back to bed. Looking back, he told his sister “You know where the guest rooms are, Des. Go ahead and make yourself at home, ok? Just lock up before you tuck in.”

“No problem. Night, Der. Night, Spencer!”

Spencer managed a little half wave before Derek steered him further down the hall. He thought to himself that he should protest being manhandled from the table but he found that he couldn’t. Especially when Derek helped him onto the edge of the bed. Spencer gave a soft little sigh and started to lie down. Derek’s hands on his shoulders stopped him, though. “Not yet, Spencer. Let’s get you out of your clothes first or you’ll be uncomfortable.”

Mostly asleep, Spencer didn’t really have to do anything. He just sat there as Derek stripped him out of his clothes. Then, just like a child, he was helped the rest of the way into bed and the blankets were pulled over him. A moment later Derek’s warm body joined him in bed. A little moan slipped past Spencer’s lips when Derek put his arm around his waist and pulled him back. There was nothing better than sleeping in the warm curve of Derek’s body. Here, Spencer always felt warm and safe.

He felt a kiss being placed against the side of his neck. “Go to sleep. I love you, Spencer.”

“Love you too, Derek.” No matter how tired he was, he wouldn’t go to sleep without saying those words. Giving a contented sigh, Spencer slid into sleep.

* * *

Hours later, Derek heard the sound of his front door opening and closing. Carefully he extracted himself from Spencer’s body, smiling when the boy gave a soft whimper. He pressed a kiss to Spencer’s forehead and murmured “I’ll be right back.” His lover stilled and sighed back into the blanket. A smile curved Derek’s lips as he moved out of his bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

He knew who his midnight guest was. Leaning against the wall in the hallway, Derek watched as his sister moved through the dimly lit hall, heading toward his guest rooms. When she was close, he said softly “Good to see you came back.”

Sara jumped, almost dropping her bag. Her free hand came up to rest over her heart. “”God, Derek! What the hell are you doing, hiding the shadows? Trying to kill me?” she hissed at him. The tone she used didn’t hold any anger in it; at least, not really. It was the same tone he’d heard thousands of times growing up. There was no lingering animosity in there from earlier and none of that disgust that he’d seen before.

Still, Derek wasn’t so quick to let things go. “As much as I’m glad you’re back, Sara, my rule from earlier still stands. You want to stay here, you’ll have to behave. On this, I won’t bend. I can’t.”

“I know.” She whispered. Setting her bad down, Sara sighed softly. She lifted her eyes to him, barely visible in the dark. “I overreacted, Derek. It was just…it was a huge shock, ok? I’m not saying I’m perfectly ok with it now, I won’t lie to you.”

“What are you saying, then?”

“I guess…I guess I’m willing to try, at least. That’s what I’m saying. I’m here and I’m willing to try. I’ll try to understand…this. I’ll try to see what it is you see in, in him.”

For a long moment Derek stood there and stared at her, trying to judge her sincerity. After a long moment he stepped forward, snagging her with one arm to pull her in for a hug. No matter what, she was his sister. Even if he was worried about how things would go there was no way he could just send her away. If she was willing to try, he had to be willing to let her.

When he let go, he smiled at her and ruffled her hair. “Go get some sleep, Sara.” He moved toward his bedroom, pausing in the doorway to throw her a grin. “We aint holding breakfast for you. Your tantrum kept you out late; you can either suffer and get up for breakfast or miss out.” With one final laugh at her indignant look, Derek shut the bedroom door behind him. He climbed into bed, his smile growing a little when Spencer rolled over and instantly snuggled up to him, still sound asleep. Content now that things in his life seemed to be back on the right track, Derek wrapped his arm around Spencer and finally let himself join his lover in sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The sound of the shower running drew Spencer up out of his sleep. Though he would have been perfectly content to stay there and laze around just a little bit longer, the smell of coffee brought his head up from the blankets. Sometimes he swore Derek liked to ruin any sleeping-in plans. That man was always up early for his morning run and then back at the house, making coffee before taking a shower. He _knew_ Spencer would wake up hearing the shower and he knew the smell of that coffee would wake him up even more. It had to be some evil little plan on his part to deprive Spencer of the ability to sleep in.

Scrunching up his face and glaring at the blankets, Spencer burrowed further down into them. Well, the hell if he was going to let him win this! He wanted to sleep in, dammit! Blinking his eyes, Spencer stared the blankets over himself for just a moment before finally giving in and laughing softly to himself. Now he sounded like he was losing his mind. Seriously? Conspiracies over coffee? Still chuckling at himself, he pushed the blankets off and worked his way to the edge of the bed. After grabbing a pair of Derek’s sweats, he yanked them on and tied them off so they wouldn’t slide off of his smaller frame. Then he took off towards the kitchen the same as he did every morning. Yawning, he ran a hand through his hair, trying to wake up slightly. _Not that it ever works. At least, not until after that first cup of coffee._

There were sounds coming from the kitchen that didn’t quite register in Spencer’s brain. He barely paid any attention until he stepped in the kitchen and found two women standing at the stove, making breakfast. For just an instant he stared at them with confusion. When one of them turned to smile at him, it slowly clicked in his brain who they were and why they were there. _Sara and Desiree—Derek’s sisters. Duh. Idiot!_ Vaguely he thought to himself that Sara must have returned in the middle of the night.

“Morning, Spencer.” Desiree said cheerfully. He barely resisted wincing at her bright and chipper greeting. No one should be pleasant before coffee. No one. From beside her Sara offered a slightly strained smile and greeting. “Morning.”

He tried to dredge up some form of manners. “Morning, ladies.” There, that was good, right? Good enough for someone who hadn’t had their cup of coffee yet. Proud of himself, he started to move toward the coffee. He was stopped once again when Desiree moved to open the cupboard above the coffee pot. He had to resist the urge to growl a little. Patiently he waited as she got whatever the hell it was she wanted and then moved back toward the stove.

“You sleep well?” Desiree asked.

Finally reaching his goal, Spencer grabbed his mug from the wooden mug tree by the pot and set it down. “Yes, thank you.” Again, he was rather proud. He wasn’t grunting or growling at them and was actually speaking coherently! His eyes zeroed in on the pot as he finally pulled it out. His eyes grew wide when he looked in and saw there wasn’t even a quarter of a cup in there. Where was the coffee?

They must have seen something on his face because Sara suddenly spoke up “Oh, sorry about that. Forgot to make a fresh pot.”

There…there was no coffee? Spencer just stared at the pot in his hand with a feeling akin to horror. He was up, out of bed, and the coffee was gone? That couldn’t be right. He looked in once again just to make sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. Off to the side, he heard slightly muffled snickers. At the moment he didn’t care if he was amusing them. They’d drank all the coffee!

A feminine hand took the pot from him and set it on the counter. “Here, Spencer.” Desiree spoke soothingly as she took hold of his arm. “Come sit at the table. I’ll get another pot going.”

“You guys drank all the coffee?” Derek’s voice echoed in the dining room with just enough horror in it to make Spencer nod his head in agreement. Here was someone who would understand! He turned to look at Derek, who was looking fresh from his shower in just a pair of plaid pajama pants, and he nodded again. “No coffee.” He told him plainly. Derek would understand exactly how bad this was.

Derek grimaced and moved hurriedly toward the coffee pot to start another pot of coffee. From where Desiree sat him down, Spencer watched the two girls grin at Derek with amusement. “Geeze, Derek. In the mood for coffee?” Sara teased him lightly.

He shot her a look as he poured the water into the machine. “You’ve never had to deal with a Spencer who doesn’t get his morning coffee. I’d rather be unarmed against an Unsub, alone, than have to deal with a Spencer who doesn’t get his morning coffee.”

“Hey!” Spencer shot him a glare. “I’m not that bad!”

“Spencer, you’ve thrown things at me.”

“You stole the last cup right as I came out! And you _laughed_!”

Derek turned the pot on and leaned against the counter to look at his lover. “You stomped on my foot one time when you thought I was going to get to the last cup in the pot!”

“Well, it was the last cup! What was I supposed to do, let you drink it?” Confusion had Spencer wrinkling his brow. What else was he supposed to have done?

Throwing his hands up in the air in defeat, Derek moved over and stole a kiss. When he broke apart, he rested their foreheads together. “You’re a coffee freak, baby boy. But I love you anyways.”

Spencer couldn’t resist giving him a grin. “Good. Because I don’t particularly see that changing anytime soon.” He leaned in and took another kiss. “I love you too, Derek.”

“Ok, ok.” Desiree interrupted them with a laugh. “Enough of this mushy stuff! Come on, what’s the plans for the week? Anything exciting you guys got planned to entertain us ladies?”

The grin Derek gave his sister as he straightened was mischievous. “Ladies? I’d have to go find me a couple, first.” He teased. Spencer had to laugh as Sara hit the back of Derek’s head and Desiree punched his arm. Even without coffee, this morning was looking like it had the potential to be very entertaining.

* * *

After breakfast had been eaten and the dishes put away, the girls brought the topic back around to what they were going to do with the day. Derek rolled his eyes as he sat on the end of the couch. “Hey, you two are the ones that showed up early. The biggest plans Spencer and I had were to clean the house before you guys were _supposed_ to arrive. This is our vacation, remember? The last thing I want to do is trek around the mall with you two.”

“Who said we wanted to go to the mall?” Sara joked as she sat in one of the recliners. Desiree had taken her coffee with her to sit in the other one.

The dry look Derek gave her had the two women chuckling. Shaking his head at the group, Spencer held his cup a little tighter before curling up on his end of the couch, bending his knees to the side and lifting up his feet. He caught sight of the look Derek was now turning toward him and smirked into his mug.  “No.” He told his lover with a shake of his head.

“Spencer.” Derek whined. “Please?”

A snicker slid out. Spencer shook his head again. “Uh-uh.” This was an argument they’d had many times, much to both of their amusement. “Not this time. I did it last time!” Abruptly Spencer realized how that sounded and his cheeks turned red. Desiree almost choked on her coffee as she started to laugh. Even Sara was snickering, though she tried to smother hers behind her hand. Still blushing, Spencer hurried to explain. “We need a new couch. The middle of this one, the springs are broken or something, so it’s extremely uncomfortable to sit on.” He turned a little, slanting a mock glare at Derek. “And I got stuck sitting there last time. Either you sit there this time or we’re staying on opposite ends.”

Derek rolled his eyes and heaved a huge sigh as he moved himself toward the center of the couch. He grumbled the whole way over, but there was a small smile on his lips when he curled up against Spencer’s side, letting his young lover wrap an arm around him. The sight kind of surprised the two women. They would have thought that Spencer would be the cuddle-up-to-you type, not Derek. He realized that and grinned at them before adjusting to get a little more comfortable.

Watching his lover squirm to try and find the best way to sit on that spring made Spencer smile. “My hand’s better. We can go over and get my couch this week. How’s that sound?”

“Thank God.” Now that it was settled, Derek smiled back at his sisters again. “Ok, there are our plans for the week. Apparently we’re going to go get more stuff from Spencer’s apartment.”

Desiree curled her legs up in her chair and took another drink from her coffee. “You still have your apartment, Spencer?”

He nodded as he traced a finger up and down Derek’s arm, enjoying the feel of his skin. “Yes. I haven’t quite finished gathering all of my things and bringing them over.” Honestly, he’d put it off quite a few times, though not for the reasons some might think. The last thing he really wanted to do was go inside of that apartment at all. He didn’t want to look around him and have to deal with the memories that lurked in there. Too many things in his apartment just reminded him of what he’d lived through while there.

A warm hand curled over his thigh, not stroking or trying to draw his attention, but a soothing weight. Spencer smiled and turned a little to kiss the top of Derek’s head.

“Well, I still want to get some shopping done today.” Sara decided. There was a small flash on her face that Spencer just barely caught. It was enough to tell him that she may be back at the house but she wasn’t entirely comfortable with them. For a split second that made him want to squirm slightly until he told himself to knock it off. _She’s his family, yes, but this isn’t her home. This is your and Derek’s home. He’s not changing how he acts while they’re here and you won’t either. Quit being weird about this!_

Shrugging his shoulder, Derek said “You two are free to go. I don’t intend on doing a whole hell of a lot. This is my first quiet day off in a while that doesn’t involve anyone being injured. I’m making the most of it.”

“Shopping sounds fun.” Desiree unfolded herself from the chair and stretched before she gave the couple a grin that was so like Derek’s it made Spencer want to blush and chuckle at the same time. He just knew she was going to say something that would make him blush. Sure enough… “We’ll just head on out and let you two _make the most_ of your alone time.” She winked before going to take her cup to the dining room, Sara on her heels.

Spencer rested his cup on his knee and laid his forehead on the top of Derek’s head. “Your sisters are just like you.” He grumbled to his lover.

He felt Derek’s chuckle more than he heard it. “You’ll get used to it, pretty boy.”

“God help me.”

He didn’t notice Derek moving until the coffee cup was stolen from his hand. Spencer looked up in time to see Derek set the cup on the table and turn to him with a grin. He knew that grin. It was too late for him to escape, though. Derek’s hands were on his sides and tickling before Spencer could even think of getting off the couch.

Unable to help it, he dissolved into a fit of helpless laughter as he tried to break free. “Derek, Derek! S-Stop it!” he laughed.

“Not until you say the Morgans are the greatest!” Derek taunted him.

Tears built in Spencer’s eyes as he tried to find a way to get away. “N-Never!” He laughed harder and brought his legs up, trying to use them to leverage Derek off of him while grabbing for his hands. But Derek just used his body weight to pin Spencer’s legs down.

He grabbed Spencer’s wrists with one hand and pinned them over his head, his other hand still moving over Spencer’s extremely ticklish sides. “Admit it, Spencer! Come on, just say it. The Morgans are the greatest!”

Spencer could barely choke out his ‘no!’ between laughs. He bucked his body, almost managing to dislodge Derek from him.

The sound of someone clearing their throat drew the two men’s attention. They both looked up to see Sara and Desiree standing there, grinning at them. “Couldn’t even wait till we left, Derek?” Desiree taunted him. “For shame.”

Sara snickered and picked up her purse. “We’ll be back in a couple hours. Try not to kill one another.”

“Yes, Mom.” Derek taunted. The two women gave him the finger in answer before heading out the door.

Once the door shut, Spencer looked back and Derek and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. While Derek had been distracted with his sisters, Spencer had shifted his legs just enough to do what he wanted. Quickly he pulled them out, locking his knees on either side of Derek’s hips. Then he pushed his body weight up and over, rolling them just right that their positions flipped over, Spencer’s body pinning Derek to the couch. He heard a car start outside and couldn’t help but smirk a little. They were alone now.

Eyebrows raised with amusement, Derek shifted his grip on Spencer’s wrists, letting their hands thread together. “Well good morning, baby boy.”

“Mm.” Spencer dipped his head down enough that he could press his lips to Derek’s. Instead of the quick kiss he’d intended, he found himself sinking into the kiss, his tongue coming out to trace Derek’s lips. When they broke apart, the both of them were just a little breathless. “Morning, Derek.”

“Someone’s in a mood this morning.” To add to his words, Derek pushed his hips up a little, pushing their obvious erections against one another, making Spencer moan slightly.

The younger man dipped his head down to run his tongue along the side of Derek’s jaw. “Maybe.” He murmured against his skin. Derek still smelled like his body wash from the shower. It was a smell that Spencer absolutely loved. “That a problem?”

Derek tipped his head up to allow Spencer access to his neck. He gasped a little when the younger man bit him. “Oh…fuck. No, not a problem at all. Want to take this back to the bedroom?”

He shook his head, never lifting his lips from Derek’s skin. “Uh-uh. Right here. Now.” He didn’t want to make his way back to the bedroom. That would require separating from Derek for a moment in time and that was the last thing that he wanted to do. Spencer nipped at Derek’s neck again, enjoying the moan his lover gave. He unlaced their fingers, bracing one hand on the arm of the couch near Derek’s head and letting the other hand slip down to rub over Derek’s chest, tracing over one of his nipples.

The older man arched up into him, his hands moving to Spencer’s hips now that they were free. “Fuck, Spencer.” He groaned out. His hands held Spencer’s hips in place as he rubbed his upwards. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I love it.”

Spencer moved his mouth back up, pressing their lips together once more. As he did he felt Derek’s hands slide under his sweats, cupping him and pulling them even closer so that they were moaning into one another’s mouths. Derek took advantage of the moan to slide his tongue into Spencer’s mouth, twisting and tasting and driving them both mad. God, he didn’t want to take this slow. He didn’t want to wait. Ever since their first time together, neither one of them had been shy in bed together. When together like this, it was the one time that nothing came between them. Nothing at all. There was just one another and the passion that always seemed to ignite when they touched. Spencer broke their kiss to drop his forehead down to Derek’s shoulder. “God, Derek.” He groaned out.

The older man brought one of his hands up to take hold of Spencer’s hair, making him hiss slightly and his hips jerk. He didn’t understand why, but he loved it when Derek pulled on his hair. _Loved_ it. Derek brought his head up for another kiss that only fueled their passion higher. When they broke apart, Derek’s hand slid to Spencer’s cheek. With a little smirk, Spencer turned his head, nipping at Derek’s fingers before taking two of them into his mouth. He heard Derek’s groan and it only spurred him on. His tongue swirled around the fingers in his mouth as he sucked them in, scraping his teeth over them. As he did that, he brought his free hand down, tugging at the ties of his sweats. Derek felt was he was doing and helped him to push the pants down until Spencer could move his legs just right and kick them off.

He let Derek’s fingers slide from his mouth with a satisfying pop. Almost instantly he was being kissed once more, hard and deep. Never breaking their kiss, Derek brought his wet fingers down, tracing them around Spencer’s entrance. With Spencer straddling Derek’s waist, it put him in just the perfect position. He shuddered when he felt the first finger slide in with only a slight burn. He couldn’t stop his hips from rocking, pushing his erection against Derek at the same time as riding on that finger.

One finger turned to two, scissoring him and stretching him until Spencer thought he’d go insane from the sensations in his body. When Derek tapped against his prostate, Spencer bucked and almost screamed, his head moving to drop by Derek’s shoulder once more. “Derek, please. Please!”

“What do you want, baby? Huh? You want this?” Derek curled his fingers, pressing against that spot once more, making Spencer’s whole body shudder. “That what you want, baby boy?”

Spencer bit down on the curve between Derek’s shoulder and neck. “I want you.” He gasped out against his skin. “Now, Derek. I want you now.”

When Derek’s fingers left him, Spencer lifted his body a little, reaching over the edge of the couch to the table that sat there. He yanked the drawer open and slid his hand around until he found what he was looking for. He felt Derek moving under him, pulling his own pants out of the way. When Spencer sat back, Derek was naked under him. The younger man wasted no time in opening the condom in his hands and reaching behind him to slide it down over his lover. He watched Derek’s face, loving the way his eyes drifted shut and his mouth dropped open on a moan. Tossing the wrapper on the ground, Spencer opened the other item he’d grabbed, putting a little bit of lube on his hand. Then he reached behind him once more and wrapped his hand around Derek’s cock, stroking it with slow, sure movements. He couldn’t resist bending once more to taste the long expanse of Derek’s neck.

He felt Derek almost vibrating underneath him. “Dammit, Spencer. Quit teasing me!” The words were a low growl that thrummed through Spencer’s system. He let go of him and sat up, allowing Derek’s hand between them so that his lover could hold himself steady as Spencer lifted his hips. He kept his eyes locked on Derek’s face, one hand bracing himself on the back of the couch as he slowly lowered himself.

There was the usual burn, but it was only a distant thought at the back of Spencer’s mind. His eyes drank in the sight before him. The way that Derek threw his head back on a deep moan. The way his pupils were blown wide with his arousal in the pair of eyes that stared right back at him. Spencer loved to watch Derek’s face when they joined together like this. There was nothing more beautiful to him.

As soon as his body had adjusted, Spencer started to move. He tipped his head back and rolled his hips, moans filling the living room. Derek’s hands had settled onto his hips and he was pushing up with each downward roll from Spencer. Though the pace started out slow, it quickly picked up speed. The sound of skin against skin, moans that held so much passion, was pushing Spencer’s arousal higher and higher.

He moaned loudly when Derek murmured to him. “You look so fucking hot like this, Spencer. God, love to see you like this. Love to be in you, watching you ride me. Love the sounds you make. You’re so sexy, baby boy. Love that you’re mine.”

“Oh God, Derek.” Spencer could feel his orgasm coming closer and closer. His hips picked up pace, angling until he found just the right spot. When Derek slammed into his prostate, Spencer let out a hoarse scream.

One of Derek’s hands moved from Spencer’s hip to wrap around his aching cock, matching his movements so that they were synchronized with their bodies. It was too much. Spencer rocked a few more times before his orgasm ripped him apart. His body bowed back and he gripped his hand tightly to the back of the couch, screaming out his pleasure as he emptied himself onto his lover’s chest. He heard Derek’s answer groan and felt as the strong body under him pushed up one last time before he too was shouting, emptying himself deep inside Spencer.

With a gasp, Spencer’s body dropped down. His head fell alongside Derek’s once more, their panting breaths echoing in their ears. For a long moment neither one of them could move. It was Spencer who finally rose up. He gasped a little as Derek slid from him. Somehow he managed to brace a foot on the floor, although it shook a little as he pulled his other leg over and stood up. “I think you might need another shower.” Spencer teased him breathlessly.

Chuckling, Derek pulled the condom off, tying it and tossing it into the waste basket under the table, telling himself he’d empty that wastebasket before the girls came home. He allowed Spencer to take his hand and pull him up. When he was on his feet, he wrapped Spencer in a tight embrace and kissed him one more time. “I think I’ve made a monster outta you.” He murmured against Spencer’s lips.

A smile curved Spencer’s lips. He knew Derek meant that in a good way. “You wouldn’t have me any other way.” Breaking free, he started to head out of the living room, feeling much more lighthearted than he had earlier. He looked back over his shoulder when he stopped at the entrance of the hallway. “Join me?” he asked innocently. The look Derek gave him had him smirking. With a chuckle, Spencer took off down the hall, racing toward the bathroom with Derek on his heels.


	5. Chapter 5

Amusement lit Spencer’s eyes as he glanced across the car at his lover. He and Derek had taken their shower and had spent a little more ‘together time’ in the bedroom before falling asleep for a little while. But once they were up, Spencer had watched Derek become slightly restless. Though the man professed that he wanted to relax on his time off, he was one of those people that just couldn’t be still for too long. He wasn’t a ‘laze-around-the-house’ kind of guy. So Spencer had suggested that they take the truck Derek used when he worked on his properties and go over to Spencer’s apartment and load up a bunch of things—couch included. The idea had been met with enthusiasm.

After calling his sisters to let them know they were heading out, the two had made their way to the truck and were now traveling to Spencer’s apartment. He didn’t say anything but he was glad that Derek was coming over with him. Just walking into the apartment was a little hard on Spencer. The few times he’d come here since moving in with Derek, he had always made sure to bring Derek with him. The older man never questioned it or commented on it. _Most likely he knows without you having to tell him. He knows you pretty well._

“You just going to sit there and grin at me, pretty boy, or you going to share what’s so funny?”

Realizing that he’d been caught watching Derek and smiling, the younger man let his smile grow into a grin. “Just lost in thought, Derek. That’s all.”

Derek slanted him a look as he took the turn onto Spencer’s old street. “Mm hm, sure. Why do I get the feeling it was more than that?”

“Maybe because you’re paranoid?” Spencer teased him. He couldn’t resist teasing with Derek. There was something that felt so good about being able to joke with another person. To be able to play and tease and laugh and not be the odd one out anymore who didn’t understand what was being said or what was going on. He was free to play around and not have to worry about what kind of consequences he was saying something that wasn’t considered appropriate.

A low growl from his lover had Spencer stifling a chuckle. He unbuckled his seatbelt as Derek parked the car and quickly darted out once it was off, knowing that Derek would reach for him to try and get him to talk. His laughter rang through the air as he hurried up to the front of his apartment complex. He knew that Derek was just right behind him.

Finally Derek caught up to him at the elevator. When they were inside, he pinned Spencer up against the wall, their faces inches away from one another. “Someone’s in an awfully frisky mood today.” Derek murmured. His eyes were twinkling, though. “Frisky on the couch, goofing off in the car. Teasing and taunting me. Wake up in a good mood, baby boy?”

He shrugged and leaned in to take a quick kiss. “Just happy.”

“Well, I like it.” One of Derek’s hands came up to stroke over the side of Spencer’s face. “I like seeing you smile like this. You have a beautiful smile.”

No matter how many times he heard it, that never failed to put a little flutter in Spencer’s stomach or to make his cheeks heat. He thought to himself that he’d never get tired of hearing Derek compliment him. Which was a good thing, because Derek did it constantly. He was saved from trying to come up with a response by the sound of the elevator stopping and the doors opening. The two joined hands and moved out into the hallway and down to Spencer’s door.

The anxiety started, same as it always did. It took everything Spencer had to push it down and to make himself put his key in the lock. He tried to hold on to his good mood as they went into the never used apartment. Quite a bit of the apartment was already packed up. For that, Spencer was thankful. He didn’t want to spend much time here. To distract Derek and himself, Spencer put his hands on his hips and looked around. “Well, let’s get some of this down to the truck. The couch will be the biggest pain, I do believe. Why don’t we get that out first?”

Neither one of them was looking forward to getting the couch out of the apartment. There was no way they’d be able to take it into the elevator, which meant that they’d have to take it down the stairs. With twin grins, the two looked at the couch and back at one another. “Let’s do this.” Derek said with a large sigh.

* * *

It took them almost two hours to get everything they wanted from the apartment. Then, once back at Derek’s, it took them another hour to get everything inside, take the old couch out to the truck to go to the dump at some point soon, and then come back inside and get things unloaded. Once things were unpacked, it was getting close to dinner and the girls were due home soon. Spencer took a look around the kitchen, trying to figure out what they had to make. “Why don’t you go ahead and take care of the old couch, Derek? I’ll throw something together for dinner while you’re gone.”

“I thought maybe we’d break the couch in first.” Derek said as he slid up behind Spencer and wrapped his arms around his waist.

Humor lit Spencer’s eyes. He let himself be embraced for a moment, enjoying the feel of his lover’s embrace. Then he pulled away and turned his head just enough to grin at him. “Your sisters should be home before too long and that’s the last thing I want them to come home and catch us doing.” He moved to the pantry and opened the door, sticking his head inside to look at their stock. “You go take care of business. I promise, first chance we get to be alone, we’ll break it in.” He called out over his shoulder.

There was a grunt from Derek followed by a few footsteps before Spencer felt a hand connect with his backside. He just grinned even more and peeked back out over his shoulder in enough time to see Derek heading out of the kitchen and chuckling. “Love ya, Spence!” Derek called out. “I’ll be back in a flash.”

“Thanks for the warning!” Spencer called back to him with a snicker. “And I love you too!”

He couldn’t help but laugh when he heard Derek yell “Smart ass!” before he went out the door. The good mood stayed with Spencer as he went back into the pantry. He heard Clooney come up beside him and absently reached down to scratch the dog’s head while he looked around. What should he make for dinner? Cooking wasn’t exactly his best skill but there were things he knew how to make and he had the urge to make something nice. Not only for himself and Derek, but for the girls as well.

 _You just want to show them you know how to take care of Derek too_. The thought slithered in as he a package of noodles from the shelf. There was just enough time to throw together a chicken alfredo dish. He hummed to himself as he pulled out the necessary ingredients and started to cook. He had the chicken done and was starting to cut it into pieces when the front door opened and feminine laughter filled the house. Clooney naturally took off in the direction of the front door, barking like mad. There was the sound of the girls greeting the dog and bags being moved.

Moments later, one set of footsteps came toward the kitchen. Spencer turned his head just enough to see that it was Sara who came walking in. She looked at him, that same look in her eyes that had been there earlier. It made Spencer slightly nervous. _She doesn’t quite like you. You’ve seen that look from a lot of people. You know what it means. It’s usually the look they wear right before they call you a freak._ He kept his voice neutral when he spoke, though, not wanting to come off as rude to Derek’s sister. “Enjoy your trip?”

“Yeah, we did.” Sara answered in an almost casual voice. There was an edge there that said exactly how uncomfortable she was. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was him in general that made her uncomfortable, or just the way he looked at the moment, totally at ease and cooking in the kitchen. Did she hold hopes that he wasn’t really living here? That he was going to leave? If she did, she had another thing coming.

Even though part of Spencer was trying to shuffle and shift uncomfortably, he tried to draw himself up and keep as calm as possible. He was not going to let her bother him. _For all you know, you’re overreacting. You could just be so nervous that you’re misreading her body language. It is a possibility. Quit being so damn paranoid and relax. This is your kitchen too! You have every right to make yourself at home here!_ With that in mind, he continued to cut the chicken, tossing the pieces into a bowl. At the same time he kept an eye on the pasta that was boiling on the stovetop. “Where’s Desiree? I thought I heard the two of you come in together.” He kept his voice friendly. Maybe if he was relaxed and friendly, she might relax around him a little.

He heard the sound of a chair being pulled back as Sara evidently settled herself at the table. “She went to go put things away and take a shower.”

“Ah.” Grimacing, he put the cutting board and knife into the sink to wash when he was done and he moved over to start the sauce simmering after giving the noodles a quick stir. Dammit, he wasn’t great at small talk on an average day. How on earth was he supposed to make small talk with Derek’s sister? Still, he had to make an attempt. “I, ah, I hope you two like alfredo. It’s one of Derek’s favorites, so I thought I’d make it for him. He went to ah, to get rid of the old couch. He should be home soon.” _Quit babbling. Idiot_.

“So we’re alone right now?”

 _Shit. That doesn’t sound good, does it? Aw, hell_. “For the moment, yes.” He had to work to keep his hands from shaking as he continued to make his sauce. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. He just knew it. Something told him that Sara wasn’t asking about their privacy out of just random curiosity. People usually only wanted to talk in private that way when they had something important to say. Something in Spencer told him that her idea of ‘important conversation’ wasn’t going to be very much fun for him.

His suspicions were confirmed a moment later. “Good.” Sara said firmly. All signs of shyness were gone from her voice. “Between just you and me, I want to know what your intentions are with Derek. What is it exactly that you’re doing here? What do you want from him?”

“Want from him?” Surprise, Spencer turned to look at her. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Sara didn’t bother to hide her expression this time. She was looking at him with annoyance right at the moment. “Why are you with Derek? More than that, why are you living here?”

His eyebrows furrowed with his confusion. “I’m with him because I love him and he loves me. Isn’t that the reason that two people are usually together?” The question wasn’t meant to come off as sarcastic or glib. He was honestly confused. What kind of answer did she expect him to give? It felt like she was hinting at something but he wasn’t understanding it. “As for why I live here, well…again, isn’t that what couples eventually do? They move in with one another after a period of time.”

“But you two have barely been dating. What on earth makes you guys think that moving in so quickly was a good idea? What if something goes wrong and you two split? You’ve barely been dating at all and you’ve been living here for a while!”

Spencer had never thought about it along those lines. Moving in with Derek had just been the right thing to do. For the both of them. To give himself time to think on how to answer, he turned and stirred his sauce and his noodles, making sure not to burn dinner. When he was done, he turned to look at Sara again. She hadn’t moved from her spot at the table .She still sat there, arms folded on the table top, staring at him with that serious Morgan gaze. It was the same one that Derek used when he was in interrogation. “There were quite a few factors that led to us moving in together so soon. Most of all, it was what the both of us wanted. We may have only been dating for what you consider a short time, but we have known one another for a long time.” He tried to explain.

She didn’t seem satisfied with that answer. “Being friends is one thing. Being a couple is another. I just think you two seem to be rushing into everything. Are you afraid that you’ll lose him if you take it slow? Is that what this is about?”

Wait, what? Wow. _Afraid I’ll lose him? Of course I am! All the time. But that wasn’t why I moved in with him. Why is she so antagonistic about this? And why the hell can’t Desiree come out or Derek come home? I do not want to have this conversation!_ There was no one coming to save him, though. He was going to have to grit his teeth and handle this on his own. _You can’t always have him fighting your battles for you anyways. You can handle a simple sisterly interrogation._ “I didn’t move in with him out of fear of losing him. There were extenuating circumstances that prompted our decision. Still, we’ve never regretted it. The two of us are happy here. We cohabit because it makes us happy.”

“What kind of circumstances? You still have your apartment.”

This was getting into an area that Spencer wasn’t willing to open up about. He didn’t want to tell her about everything that had happened with Michael. There was just no way that he could bring himself to tell her something that personal. “Those are between Derek and myself. I don’t feel that it’s necessary for me to explain our decisions.”

Flustered and slightly annoyed, Spencer turned back to the food. He took the noodles off the stove and drained them into the waiting strainer in the other side of the sink. He was setting the empty pot on a potholder to cool when Sara spoke up once more. “You shouldn’t be too eager to empty out your apartment. I know Derek and I know he’s not…he’s not gay. Sooner or later he’s going to open his eyes and realize that this life isn’t what he wants. That you aren’t what he wants.”

Spencer turned toward her, eyes wide. He didn’t get a chance to defend himself. Sara just kept going, her hard eyes locked on him. “Derek wants kids one day. He wants a family. He wants a woman that can provide all that for him. You can’t. Men together, it’s just not natural and Derek knows that. He’ll wake up to it sooner or later.”

Finally Spencer managed to find his voice. “Derek and I love one another. That’s not going to change, Sara, just because you’re uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality. We both are who we are. That’s not going to change.”

“My brother is not gay!” Sara exclaimed furiously. Her eyes narrowed and she sneered at him. “And even if he was, he’d have a lot better taste than some androgynous little nerd like you. I know my brother. You’re just some rebellious little phase he’s going through and soon enough, he’s going to snap out of it. Just you wait and see. He’s going to wake up one morning and look at you and realize what a mistake he made. He doesn’t want some stuttering, clumsy, scrawny little geek. He’s told us about you. About that big ol brain of yours. About the way you rattle off statistics constantly. How long do you think it’ll take before you drive him up the wall, huh? I bet you rattle them off in the bedroom too, don’t you? What guys going to want someone like that in their bed when they can go out and find a real woman to satisfy them?”

Shock had Spencer frozen in place. He couldn’t stay anything, couldn’t even move. The sound of a car pulling into the drive was what finally broke the moment between them. Sara rose from her chair and moved to where the wine and wine glasses were, acting as if she hadn’t said anything. Acting as if she hadn’t taking Spencer’s biggest fears and just threw them right out there in his face.

It was the sound of the door opening that finally spurred Spencer to move. He turned back to his sauce, checking it and finding it was done, blinking rapidly the whole time to try and dispel the sheen of tears in his eyes. The last thing he was going to do was stand here and cry. One, he wasn’t going to give Sara the satisfaction of knowing she’d gotten to him that badly. Two, he wasn’t going to let Derek know that he was that upset. He wasn’t going to let him know about the conversation at all.

_You’re just afraid to tell him about it because you’re afraid she’s right. This thing you have with Derek, it’s too good to be true. You’ve known that from the get go. One of these days you’re going to have to face it._

He heard Derek coming into the house, moving toward the dining room and greeting his sister. That gave Spencer just enough time to compose himself before Derek’s arms came around his waist and a kiss was pressed to his cheek. “Mm, you’re making alfredo. You know I love that stuff, baby boy.” The warm voice in his ear made him shiver.

Faking a smile, Spencer brought one hand up to press over Derek’s hands which were resting on his stomach. “It’ll be ready soon.” He told his lover. With sheer will he pushed his fears to the back of his mind as best as he could. He didn’t want Derek reading in his voice that something was wrong. When he turned, he caught Sara’s eye, saw the quick flash there. It made his heart ache. Using every ounce of strength he had, he locked it away and tipped his head to smile at Derek. If what she said was true, he was going to absorb every moment he could get with the man he loved. Because any pain he suffered later was going to be worth it for these moments of love now. Of that, Spencer was positive.


	6. Chapter 6

**Spoilers for Revelations – sorry folks**

For Spencer, dinner was a quiet affair. He didn’t say much, instead letting the others talk and share stories. He ate his food and tried to comment often enough not to draw suspicion. Inside, his mind kept running over everything that Sara had said to him. Every little fear of his that she’d taken and thrown up at him. One of the biggest was the family issue. He knew that Derek would want kids one day. Part of Spencer knew that he did too. But he would never be able to provide Derek with a kid that was biologically _theirs_. That was impossible. Was Derek going to realize that one day and come to resent Spencer for it? He was so lost in these thoughts, he missed the random concerned glances that Derek threw his way.

Once dinner was done, Desiree suggested they watch a movie. So the group made coffee and made their way in to the living room. Derek settled against one end of the couch and Spencer didn’t hesitate to curl up next to him. In that moment, he really wanted to be held in Derek’s arms. It made him feel a little more secure. Made him feel loved. Again he told himself this would be enough for now. He’d take what he could get.

There was the sound of laughter as the two girls sifted through the movies. What they finally picked, Spencer had no idea. Some movie he’d never heard of before and didn’t really care to see. But the lights were turned off and Sara ran to make popcorn. When she came back in with two bowls, she handed one to the boys and took the other to the love seat to sit with Desiree.

Derek put the bowl on the table in easy reach for him and Spencer and then settled back in his seat, snuggling Spencer just a little closer. “Love you, baby boy.” He whispered into Spencer’s ear, quiet as the previews started and Desiree used the remote to flip past them. Spencer tipped his head up and smiled at his lover. “Love you too.”

Both men fell silent as the movie stared. Spencer lay snuggled into Derek’s side, not paying any attention to what was on screen. He just let himself enjoy the comfort of cuddling with the older man. He loved lying together like this; the both of them did. It was relaxing and peaceful and eased some of the tension that was coiled inside of Spencer. As usual, he found himself slowly starting to drift. More so when Derek curled his arm up, his fingers starting to run through Spencer’s hair.

Half asleep, Spencer sighed, almost melting into Derek. Through half lidded eyes he tried to watch the movie, he really did, but he was becoming sleepy enough that it didn’t make any sense. Even the quiet murmuring over his head of Derek and the girls exchanging comments didn’t disturb him.

He was almost asleep when he heard something that froze him completely. “Just confess and it’ll be over with.” A voice said.

Spencer couldn’t move. Had he been starting a nightmare? But he hadn’t even been asleep yet! Then the voice spoke again.

_“Just confess your sins. Confess!”_

There was the sound of something hitting flesh and a guttural cry.

The echo of pain ran up Spencer’s leg, coming from his foot. The voice on the movie warped, changing to a different voice, one that still haunted his dreams. His body went stiff as the memory assaulted him.

He didn’t hear Derek cursing or feel how he scrambled for the remote. He didn’t even hear the movie turn off or Desiree’s exclamation of “What’s going on? Derek?” None of it penetrated Spencer’s panic. His mind was focused somewhere else entirely. The smell of fresh dirt filled his nose. Another voice, telling him “You’re weak! You’re all weak!”

 _I’m not weak!_ His mind screamed. _No, no, I’m sorry!_

Hands gripped his shoulders, pulling a whimper past his lips and making him flinch. No! Not again, no! Someone was talking, the words fading in and out. Who was that? _“You know what this is? It's God's will.”_

“Spencer! Come on, sugar. Come on, look at me!”

Wait, was that Derek? That was Derek’s voice. Spencer groped out to it, trying to pull himself out of the memories. He heard his name called again, a little more desperately, and he yanked himself from the memory with a huge gasp. The world around him came back to normal, the darkness of the room making him quiver all over again. He saw that Derek had sat him up, turning on the couch to face him and grip his shoulders.

Derek must have been able to see that he had come back because Spencer found himself yanked against his boyfriend’s chest. He couldn’t stop himself from shuddering and returning the hug as tightly as possible. A sob tried to break free. Strong arms held him close. Derek pressed one hand against Spencer’s back, the other one coming up to cup the back of his head. “I’m right here, pretty boy.” He whispered to him. “I’ve got you, I’m right here. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that would be in there, sugar. I’m so sorry.” He cut off, feeling Spencer tremble. Derek shifted, though Spencer couldn’t see what he was doing. Didn’t care, so long as his lover didn’t let go. Then he heard Derek say “Turn on the lamp, Sara.”

Sara’s voice cut into their embrace as the light flickered on. “What on earth is going on?”

A huge tremor ran down Spencer’s frame. He breathed in Derek’s scent, trying to chase away the scent of dirt. Of his grave. “S-Sorry.” He shuddered out. Before he could try and say anything else, Derek was squeezing him tighter and shushing him. “It’s ok, it’s ok. Don’t apologize to me. I understand. I do. Just hold on for a bit, I’ve got you here. It’s me holding you right now. Feel my arms, sugar. You’re not there. You’re right here on our couch and I’ve got you.”

As always, Derek’s voice and embrace helped chase back the demons. The more Spencer’s mind cleared, though, the more room it left for exhaustion and embarrassment to seep in. Some of the tension drained out of his body underneath Derek’s gentle soothing.

“Spencer? Derek? What’s going on? Are you ok, Spencer?” Desiree asked gently. Next was Sara, her voice slightly annoyed, slightly confused. “Why’d you shut the movie off? What’s going on?”

“Just a minute.” Derek told them. Then his voice turned gentle again. “Feeling better, sugar?” he asked Spencer.

Giving a soft shiver, Spencer nodded. He made himself pull back a little so that he wasn’t plastered to Derek anymore. The embarrassment was starting to win out over everything. His eyes sought out the two girls on the love seat. Sara was sitting with confusion on her face and Desiree looked like she was battling to keep herself from rising and coming over to them to try and help. “S-Sorry.” Spencer told them. “I d-didn’t mean t-to r-r-ruin the m-movie.”

“Hush, pretty boy.” Derek scolded him, stroking his hair. “You didn’t ruin it. It was a dumb movie anyways.”

“It was not!” Sara argued. “I was enjoying it. Why’d you have to shut it off? It’s not like it was scary. It’s just a movie.”

Derek’s eyes flashed over to her, irritation bright in them. “Shut up, Sara. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gently Spencer laid a hand on Derek’s arm, hating the way it trembled even with that small action. “Derek, don’t g-get mad.” He whispered, working hard to not shiver and stutter. “She d-doesn’t know.” It took a lot of courage, but Spencer lifted his eyes to them again. He knew it wouldn’t be fair to just walk away without some kind of explanation, even if he didn’t plan on getting into all of it. “He s-shut it off because I h-had a f-flashback.”

“A flashback?” Desiree asked.

Worry creased Derek’s brow. He started to say something, but Spencer shook his head, silencing him. “Yeah.” Dropping his eyes, Spencer looked down at where his hand rested on Derek’s thigh, drawing strength from the man he loved. “I was k-k-kidnapped once. Tortured b-by a m-man suffering f-from DID. One of the p-personalities t-tried to t-torture me into c-c-confessing my s-sins.” His throat dried up, cutting off anything else he might have said.

That was enough for Derek. He shook his head, gesturing at his sisters before they could say anything. Then he turned to look at Spencer. “Enough.” He said, his voice stern and loving. “That’s enough, Spencer. Your business is your business. You don’t need to tell anyone about it or explain yourself to anyone. Why don’t you go head back to the bathroom and start getting ready for bed? I’ll be back before you come out, ok?”

Exhausted, Spencer didn’t even bother to protest as he usually would to what was practically an order. He just allowed Derek to help him to his feet and then headed back to the bathroom, trying his hardest to stay steady on his feet. All he wanted was to climb into bed and be held tight in Derek’s arms.

* * *

Once the bedroom door shut, Derek sighed and slumped back on the couch for a minute. Well, damn. _Damn_. That had straight up sucked. He opened his eyes and looked over to where both girls were still watching him. “Sorry. Hate to cut the movie short.” He apologized. Sitting up, he offered them a grin. “If it helps any, you can take the movie home with you when you go.”

“What?” Sara asked in surprise.

Derek chuckled. Rising to his feet, he stretched himself out, keeping one ear tuned to listen for Spencer. “Yeah, you can have it. That’s definitely one movie I won’t keep in the house.”

“Just cause of that? Why don’t you just watch it when he’s not home or something like that?”

That made Derek chuckle again. “Well, I’m never really here without him for one. And I’m not going to make him see the movie on the shelf every time he goes to pick out a movie. No need to keep something here that triggers flashbacks.” His voice had turned serious at the end. God, he wished he’d known that part was going to be in the movie. He never would have let them watch it if he’d known. But the instant the man had first said to “confess your sins”, he’d instantly known and had tried to move. But it had already been too late. He hated seeing that terror in Spencer’s eyes. Hated the way his body would go stiff before starting to tremble. Most of all, he hated how badly it still hurt the younger man. That, even after all this time, the pain of that could come flashing back to him with the right trigger.

Desiree hesitantly asked “Was it really that bad, what he went through?”

Her question startled him. Derek realized that he’d told them the bare strokes of what had happened back then in Georgia, but he’d never been able to give his sisters the details. They didn’t know the extent of what had happened. “Yeah, it was. He was in that guy’s hands for days. When we finally found him, the fucker was having him dig his own grave. Hell, we didn’t even save the kid. He saved himself. Somehow Spencer got his gun away from him and shot him. He’s never quite forgiven himself for that.”

That seemed to only confuse them more. Sara raised an eyebrow at him. “Forgive himself for killing a guy who was killing him? Ok, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, the guy suffered from DID.” At their questioning looks, Derek explained it. “Multiple personalities. Himself, his dad, and another. The guy, Tobias, he was a good guy. He helped Spencer, saved his life even. But the other two personalities, they were the ones that fucked Spencer up. He hates that he had to shoot the guy cause he feels that Tobias himself wasn’t a bad guy. That he didn’t deserve that.”

The sound of running water drew Derek’s attention. He gave a gentle sigh and stretched out his sore muscles as he rose. “I’m gonna go back with him. You two feel free to watch a different movie if you want, ok? Just put up the bowls when you’re done if you don’t mind.”

Desiree rose to move and embrace her brother. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll take Clooney out and clean up, too. Just take care of him and make sure he’s ok.”

By the time Derek finally headed into their bedroom, Spencer was just exiting the master bath and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He was in his usual lounge clothes, a pair of sweats and one of Derek’s t-shirts, and he had his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Derek shut the bedroom door before crossing the room to his lover. He didn’t hesitate to sit down beside him and wrap his arms around him.

“I really am sorry about the movie.” Spencer whispered.

“Hey, come on now. I told you not to worry about it. The movie was dumb anyways. Didn’t you hear us mocking the plot over your head, pretty boy?”

Spencer shook his head and allowed himself to lean into Derek’s embrace a little. “I was mostly asleep.” He admitted.

Soft, warm laughter brushed against his ear, soothing him a little bit more. “Go figure. I don’t know how you ever know what happens at the end of any movie. Halfway through and you’re usually out like a light.”

“Did you know they’ve done studies that show…?” Realizing what was coming out of his mouth, Spencer cut himself off. In the back of his mind he could hear Sara commenting on how he probably spouted off statistics in the bedroom, too. He couldn’t believe he was really doing that! She was probably right. What guy would want someone like that in their bed?

The grip on Spencer shifted and he winced a little, sure Derek was going to be irritated with him now. Instead he found his head tipped up by a knuckle underneath his chin. He met Derek’s eyes and saw only love looking back at him. “Studies show what, sugar?” Derek asked. His voice was warm and soft, echoing with the same love that was in his eyes. “You’ve got me curious now.”

Still, a small part of Spencer wondered if Derek was just humoring him. Most likely he didn’t really want to know. Who would? He bit his lip and tried to drop his head back down. That was a stupid move. The knuckle under his chin moved a little until Derek had a firm grip on his chin, tipping his head up once more. The look in Derek’s eyes was concerned, but there was a stern cast to his face. “What is going on, Spencer?” he asked. “Talk to me.”

“I…it’s nothing.” Well, that hadn’t been the most brilliant response. But when he was eye to eye with Derek like this, it was hard for him to think up evasions. Words tended to come past his lips before he could stop himself. “I just realized statistics and studies probably weren’t pertinent to the conversation. I understand I can get a little frustrating on occasion.” Wow, like right then. He sure as hell hadn’t intended on saying that!

“I’ve never minded your statistics or studies.” Derek let go of Spencer’s chin, dropping his hand down to rest on his lover’s leg. The contact warmed Spencer’s skin. “What’s running through that head of yours, sugar? Why would you think I’m frustrated by you?”

How on earth was he going to get himself out of this one? _Derek’s always been perceptive when it comes to you. You two work together and practically live together; he can read you like an open book_. “I just, uh, I just know I can sometimes come off, well, annoying. When I ramble and such, I mean.”

“Have I complained about it?”

“Well, no. Tease me, maybe. But…” A flush built in Spencer’s cheeks. He couldn’t look Derek in the face anymore. His eyes drifted to the bedspread where his hand had moved to pick at a loose thread. “I doubt you want to hear it in the bedroom.” He murmured. The room was quiet for a long moment.

“I think it’s time for us to talk, Spencer.”

Derek’s voice startled him after the long silence. Words dried up in Spencer’s throat and his mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of this. _Shit, he_ did _notice something off earlier. You were an idiot for thinking you’d be able to keep your distress from a profiler!_ The last thing he wanted to do was tell Derek that his sister had said the remarks she’d said. Not only because he didn’t want to come between the two, but because a tiny part of him was afraid that Derek wouldn’t believe him. Or that Derek would tell him it was true. The thought of those last two outcomes was terrifying. He didn’t think he could handle it if either of those happened.

“You know, I was thinking about it a little while we watched the movie.” Derek said slowly. He scooted back on the bed, leaning against the footboard. The tone to his voice was casual but Spencer knew him better than that. He knew him well enough to hear the slight edge under his words. “Something’s been bugging you ever since I came home. You weren’t happy despite the way you smiled at me when I hugged you. But I let it go cause I didn’t want to press you with Sara right there. You clam up tighter than anything when pushed on your feelings and even more so if others are around. And all through dinner you were quiet, just picking at your food, not really paying any attention.”

“I ate…” Spencer tried to interject.

“I’m not done yet, Spencer.” Derek said sternly. There was an edge to his tone that warned Spencer he was reaching the end of his patience. “Now, even here in our bedroom, the one place we’ve always knocked down every wall and been completely at ease with one another, you actually stop yourself from one of your usual rambles and suddenly you seem to think I’ll find it frustrating. Something happened, Spencer. I’m not an idiot. Something happened between you and Sara, I’d guess, as she was the one in the kitchen with you when I got home. Instead of me finishing my profiling here and getting more pissed off because I’m left guessing, I’m asking you to tell me what she said to you.”

There was no getting out of this now. No way to take Derek off the topic without turning it into a big fight between them. As much as Spencer wanted to protect the relationship between the two, he didn’t want to sacrifice his relationship in the process. _But maybe, if you choose your words carefully, you can downplay this as much as possible_. He latched on to that thought.

“I…I wasn’t trying to hide things from you, Derek. Not really.” Spencer said. Shifting his weight around, he crossed his legs on the bed and rested his hands in his lap, his eyes automatically dropping down. “My intentions weren’t to start an argument.”

“I know that. That’s one thing that has me keeping my cool for the moment. Now, are you going to answer me?”

Spencer chewed his lip again, trying to think of how to do this. He really, _really_ didn’t want to be doing this. “Sara and I, we just, we talked about a few things while you were gone. That’s all, Derek. The rest of the evening, well, I just…I was just feeling insecure.”

“Spencer Reid.” His name was said with a low growl that told Spencer exactly how irritated Derek was now. “I swear, if you don’t tell me right here and now what she said to you to hurt you, and I know she said something, I will march down to that guest room and demand she tell me. If I have to do that, it’s not going to be just her I’m pissed at. It’ll be you too.”

“No!” Spencer’s head shot up, his eyes wide. “Derek, please, just drop it.”

“Like hell I will. Tell me.”

“Can’t you just let it go?” Spencer pleaded. He knew it was useless, but he couldn’t help it. “It’s not important!”

Derek crossed his arms over his chest. “It is important if she said things to you she shouldn’t have said. It’s extremely important to me!”

All of a sudden Spencer found he couldn’t just sit there anymore. The feeling of insecurity filled him, mixing with his anger at Sara for saying those things and Derek for pushing this, and pain from knowing exactly how much truth was in Sara’s words. He shot to his feet, arms wrapping instinctively around his waist. “You just can’t let things go, can you?” He snapped at Derek.

There was a note of anguish to his voice, though he didn’t hear it. Just as there was pain in his wide eyes that had Derek wanting to reach out and hold him. Spencer was oblivious to all of it. “She didn’t say anything to me that I haven’t heard from twelve different people at work. Things that I’ve thought to myself and wondered about and worried about. But that’s my problem to deal with. Why do you have to push this?”

Frustrated, Spencer paced away, moving toward the window. Emotion had him spinning back around, the look on his face stopping anything Derek had been about to say. “Do you think I haven’t wondered why you’re with someone like me? Everything she said, I’ve already wondered. I know you’re the type of person who will want a family and kids and I know I can’t provide that. I know I’m a geek, I know I’m clumsy and I stutter and ramble more than I manage to talk normally. I’ve already wondered how a man as sexy and wonderful and kind as you ended up with a nerdy little boy like me.”

Derek sat, stunned, as everything spewed from Spencer. He hadn’t been expecting anything like _this_.

“Do know how many people feel the need to tell me that they aren’t bothered by you ‘swinging that way’ but that they feel you could have picked someone better? Someone more _suited_ to you? I already know that! I know that the way I spout statistics makes people uncomfortable, or they tend to think I’m trying to show my superior intelligence. I’ve heard countless people speculate on whether I talk in statistics in the bedroom, or even in bed. I’ve heard it all. You think I don’t already have those insecurities? But it should be _my_ decision to talk to you about it!”

Spencer raised a hand, tapping it against his heart. “I’m the one that has to hear it. I’m the one that deals with the speculation and the taunting and the snide remarks. It should be my choice in how I respond to those. So your sister was a little more vocal about it than most? That is my business and I shouldn’t have to be pressured into telling you about it!”  Spinning away, Spencer stared out the window, trying to regain his composure. Trying to lock the pain back down inside of him.

He heard Derek moving behind him. A second later, warm hands settled on his shoulders, turning him around. Then those same hands were cupping his face. Derek’s face was right in front of him, so full of love that it almost brought on the tears Spencer was fighting back.

“You’re right on one thing.” Derek said softly. “You shouldn’t have to be pressured into telling me about these things.” He paused, making sure their eyes locked. “You should tell me anyways, without me having to push you into doing it. You should come to me when people, most especially a guest in _our_ house, say something insulting to you. No matter if it’s my family or not.”

“You get overprotective of me.” Spencer whispered. “I didn’t want you to fight because of me, especially not with your sister. Not to mention, I am an adult. I can’t come running to you to fight all my battles for me, Derek. I have to stand up for myself. I don’t want you thinking I’m weak.”

“And I don’t want you walking around, carrying this kind of hurt in your heart. You don’t deserve that kind of disrespect. Ever. You are the most kind-hearted man I have ever known. I count myself blessed every single day you’re in my life, Spencer. So what if you’re a nerd? That’s never bothered me. Do I care that you ramble or that you rattle off statistics? Hell no. I love everything about you. What they have to say, what anyone has to say, it doesn’t matter to me. What matters is right here, right now. You and me.”

Spencer’s tears were starting to build, threatening to fall. He brought his shaking hands up to rest on Derek’s waist. “I can’t help but…but be afraid sometimes.” He whispered. Here, now, it wasn’t as difficult to admit his fears. Embarrassing, yes, but not impossible. His eyes dropped down when he said those words, too ashamed to meet Derek’s eyes.

“Of what, sugar? Of me?”

“That one day you’re going to hear what they have to say and come to the realization that they’re correct.”

He’d spoken so quietly he wasn’t sure if Derek had actually heard him or not. But the hands on his face moved to pull him in so that he found his face buried in Derek’s neck again. Then he was wrapped in an almost bone crushing hug. “Nothing, _nothing_ , is ever going to take me away from you.” Derek said vehemently. It surprised Spencer to hear what almost sounded like tears in Derek’s voice. Had he made him _cry_? That thought was like being stabbed in the stomach.

“Derek.” It was the only word Spencer could say. He clung tighter to the older man, pressing them together as close as he possibly could. At the moment he wanted nothing to be between them. “I love you.”

“I love you too, pretty boy. Don’t you ever forget it.”

The two men moved their heads, lips seeking, finding one another for a kiss that sent heat straight through Spencer like a jolt of lightning. As always, he lost himself in his boyfriend’s touch, his lips. The heat built between them in a way that was so blessedly familiar and welcome. When Derek deepened the kiss, his tongue questing against Spencer’s lips, the younger man sighed into him and opened his mouth. Then they were tasting and touching and Spencer felt like someone had suddenly lit a fire inside of him.

He didn’t realize that Derek had moved them toward the bed. He couldn’t think beyond the hands that were fisting in the back of his shirt now, keeping him close. Or the heat of the body that was pressed flush against him. Then they were moving, Derek practically lifting him as they slid onto the bed, Spencer’s body draped over top of Derek’s, their legs tangling together, lips still locked. A low moan built in Spencer’s throat at the feel of their bodies pressing together.

When they broke apart, both of them were breathless. Derek’s hands came up, brushing some of Spencer’s hair back. “You are beautiful.” The older man whispered. “Absolutely beautiful.” Leaning in, he pressed soft, gentle kisses to Spencer’s lips. “I love you, Spencer.”

Then he was rolling them over, gently pinning Spencer down to the bed. His lips moved, traveling over Spencer’s jawline, making the younger man moan softly. “Let me show you how beautiful I think you are…” Derek murmured. Then he set about doing just that.


	7. Chapter 7

Laughter tickled the back of Spencer’s throat as he left the bedroom and headed toward the living room. He’d heard the phone ringing and wanted to see who was calling. By the time he was in the hall, the phone had stopped ringing. He shook his head and felt laughter tickling at him again. If Derek hadn’t been in such a touchy-feely flirtatious mood then Spencer probably would have gotten out of the room in time to answer the phone. But his boyfriend hadn’t been willing to let him go. Not that Spencer really minded. It made him feel loved and wanted. But now Derek was in the shower, the one that he’d tried to convince Spencer to join him in when he’d gotten back from his morning run.

A voice caught Spencer’s attention, alerting him that someone was awake in one of the guest rooms. That was something that he wasn’t looking forward to. Not only because of his embarrassment at having a panic attack in front of the girls, but because he knew Derek wasn’t happy with Sara and the last thing Spencer wanted was a loud argument. He just wanted Derek to let things go, even though he knew that wouldn’t happen.

Still, Spencer brushed it off for the moment, moving to get his morning cup of coffee. That was when he saw no coffee was in the pot. Wait, _what_? Derek had told him there was coffee waiting for him! “That little liar.” He grumbled to himself. Now he was going to have to make coffee and wait for it to brew before he got his morning shot of caffeine. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling, though. His heart felt too light this morning for him to get grumpy, even about a lack of coffee. The night had just been too wonderful, too special, for him to feel grumpy about much of anything at the moment. _Wouldn’t Derek be amazed? You, not upset at a lack of coffee. He wouldn’t know what to do with you. Might pass out from the shock of it all_. That had Spencer snickering.

Still, as he made a pot of coffee, his mind wandered over his memories of the night. In so many ways, Derek had taken the time to show Spencer exactly how special he was to him. They hadn’t talked much—words weren’t needed. Derek said so much with his actions. Their bodies had done the talking.

Now that the pot was brewing, Spencer found himself staring out the window. His smile grew a little when he saw the snow starting to fall outside. Though he wasn’t a fan of the cold, wet stuff, he did appreciate the picture it made and he knew that Derek loved it. Having grown up in Chicago, he was used to snow at Christmas time. Spencer knew that Derek didn’t quite consider it Christmas unless there was snow. More than once he’d seen the grown man engage in a snowball fight with people after work or over the holiday. _Maybe I’ll suck it up and he and I can go take Clooney into the backyard to play around a little. Just because I’ve never done it before doesn’t mean that I can’t now. And it would most assuredly make him happy._ After the way Derek had made Spencer so happy through the night, the younger man was willing to do anything to make his lover happy.

The sound of someone clearing their throat had Spencer jumping. He pulled out of his thoughts and spun around to find both Desiree and Sara standing in the dining room. Sara looked annoyed, tired, an uncomfortable. Desiree looked wildly amused. “Morning Spencer.” She said with a hint of a laugh to her voice.

Spencer debated asking her what was funny before deciding he might be better off not knowing. “Morning, Desiree.” Then, for the sake of manners, he tacked on “Morning, Sara.”

“I see you’re feeling better.” Desiree moved to join him near the coffee pot. She reached up and grabbed a mug, setting it down next to Spencer’s. Her grin grew a little wider and she bumped his shoulder. “Not that I expected anything else.”

“Um, thank you?” _Ok, I think I’m missing something here. But I have a feeling I don’t want to ask. She’s got that same grin that Derek gets when he’s up to no good._

A second later he found out that he was right. He would have been much better off not knowing. Desiree bumped shoulders with him once more and let her grin widen. “I didn’t really expect to see you up and about this early, what with all the noise coming from your room last night.”

 _Oh my God._ Heat built in Spencer’s cheeks. He hadn’t even thought of that! He was never quiet in the bedroom. _Never_. But Derek had a way of making him forget himself when they were intimate together. Spencer could never focus on anything but them. If he had been able to, he would have realized that the sounds he made would have carried down to the guest rooms. The moans. The pleas. The _screams_. He brought one hand up to cover his face. “Oh my God.”

“Yeah, I heard that a lot. Didn’t know you were a religious guy, Spencer.” This time the laughter was even more obvious in her words.

“Someone shoot me.” He murmured to himself. This was _not_ a situation that he wanted to deal with. Oh, hell no! Why hadn’t Derek thought of this? Why hadn’t _he_ thought of this? Not that he could have been thinking of anything, really. Derek had short circuited his brain. He’d worshiped every inch of skin on the younger man, drawing the pleasure out, taking him to that peak over and over without letting him fall until Spencer had been begging, pleading, demanding that Derek stop teasing him. Spencer winced when he recalled one particular moment when he’d been half sobbing, half screaming for Derek to quit teasing him and just fuck him already. Something about being the bedroom with Derek always took Spencer’s great conversation skills and threw them out the window. Which, of course, Derek found incredibly sexy. He loved when Spencer was mindless enough that he started swearing.

A new voice entered the kitchen. “Why on earth would someone shoot you, baby boy?” Derek asked him with a laugh. Fully dressed for the day in a t-shirt, jeans, and even his socks, Derek walked right into the kitchen and over to Spencer. He wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Glaring, Spencer brought his hand away from his face and pushed Derek back. “Don’t you ‘baby boy’ me, Derek Morgan.” He snapped at his boyfriend. Putting his hands on his hips, Spencer turned and glared at Derek, ignoring the surprise on his face. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“What I’ve done? Spencer…”

“Don’t you even think you’re going to talk your way out of this, Derek. You are in so much trouble.” Spencer said. He was absolutely mortified right at the moment. “Because you were so insistent on _teasing me,_ I was distracted enough that I didn’t even think of the consequences!”

Derek’s face was a picture of confusion. “Consequences?”

Before Spencer could rant once more, Desiree snickered, drawing his eyes toward her. In that moment he didn’t stop to think before he spoke. “Oh, you hush. You’re no better. All you Morgans are the same, I swear. Is there something in you that just makes you highly amused by other people’s embarrassment?” He demanded of the cheerful girl.

She didn’t even bother to look ashamed. “Yep.” Her grin stretched wider. “You’re basically family now, Spencer. Get used to the teasing. And trust me, when I hear my brother and his boyfriend up for almost all night, screaming, I have every right to tease a little in the morning. And there’s not a single thing you can do to stop me.”

Realization was dawning on Derek’s face now. Spencer didn’t care. He wasn’t paying any attention to him anymore. He had rounded on Desiree. “So tease _him_! This isn’t _my_ fault.”

“Hey now, wait a second.” Derek interjected. “I’m not the one that was making all the noise. You were!”

Spencer rounded on him once more. “Only because you somehow have this ability to short circuit my brain! You know that! I can’t think straight when you and I are together like that, Derek. How am I supposed to remember to be quiet when I can’t even think?”

The grin that spread over Derek’s face was smug and full of ego. “Yeah.”

Disgusted, Spencer shook his head and turned back to the coffee pot. There was no way he was going to win this argument. He was mortified to think that they’d kept the two ladies up through the night. Not only that, but that they’d actually clearly heard him. How on earth could he have forgotten they were in the house? How could he have not remembered to keep his voice down?

Once more Derek put his arms around Spencer’s waist, one of his hands sliding underneath his t-shirt to rest on his flat stomach. Spencer didn’t even have a chance to move before Derek’s lips were on his neck, moving up towards his ear. He nipped the lobe and Spencer found himself sighing and relaxing into his embrace. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you, baby boy.” Derek murmured in his ear in a husky voice. “I promise, I’ll make it up to you later.”

After a second Spencer let himself smile. “Yeah, well. You better.” But he turned and kissed him, letting his good mood slide back in.

When they broke apart, Spencer was smiling, his hands busy pouring his first cup of coffee. He filled the cup that Desiree had set out for herself as well. Once he had sugar in there, he picked the cup up and took the first sip. _Oh, that’s much better._ He made himself turn to smile at Desiree, trying to push down any of the embarrassment that tried to creep up. Before he could say anything, though, he felt Derek tense against him. It didn’t take a profiler to figure out why.

Sara had risen from the table and moved toward them to most likely get herself a cup of coffee. Quickly Spencer used his free hand to grab hold of Derek’s hands, which were still on his stomach. “Derek…” he began warningly. Derek wasn’t having it, though. “No, Spencer. I have the right to do this.”

Everything in Spencer screamed to hold Derek there and stop him before he ended up saying something he would later regret. But Derek’s words had him reluctantly letting go. Even though this involved Spencer, it was between Derek and Sara right now. As her brother, as Spencer’s boyfriend, he _did_ have the right to say his piece. But Spencer promised himself that he would step in if things started to progress too far. “Keep your cool, Derek. Please.”

Derek didn’t answer him. He unwound his arms from Spencer’s waist and stepped back, his gaze locking on Sara. Sensing that something was going to happen, Desiree turned and rested her backside against the counter, Spencer echoing her move. For the moment they would be spectators in this. _For now_ Spencer told himself.

“You’ve got a hell of a lot of explaining to do, Sara.” Derek said in a voice that was low and hard. His arms crossed over his chest and his expression was as hard as his voice. “You know, I thought for sure my own sister would be able to find understanding about my relationship with Spencer. That you’d be one of the few people I wouldn’t have to worry about reacting badly. Apparently I was wrong.”

Sara looked as if she’d been slapped. “Derek...”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Derek said, holding a hand up to silence her. “It took me a while last night to get Spencer to tell me what you said to him. Even then, he didn’t come right out and quote you, despite the fact I know he could have. Do you want to know why?” He didn’t even give her a chance to respond. “I can almost guarantee that in that big heart of his, he was more worried about messing up my relationship with my sister than about anything that hurts him. That’s just the kind of guy he is. He probably would have continued tolerating your bullshit attitude because he didn’t want me to lose a sister over it if I hadn’t managed to get him to talk to me.”

The words ‘lose a sister’ had Sara going pale. Spencer made as if to move forward, but Desiree put a hand on his arm to stop him, shaking her head when he looked at her. It was a silent message that told him that this was between them and Spencer needed to stay out of it.

Derek wasn’t done yet. “Even after I found out what happened, he still tried to defend you. He told me to give you time and you might come around. That man right there never fails to amaze me. He gets slammed, over and over again, and yet he still seems to find the good in people. He’s still so positive and loving and just an all-around damn good person. Half the time, I have no idea how he survives so much and yet still sees life as a gift.”

It warmed Spencer’s heart to hear his lover speak of him that way even as another part of his heart ached to see the look Sara wore.

Shaking his head, Derek uncrossed his arms, some of the hardness slipping away. “But if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I’m sure as hell not going to have someone in my life who not only disrespects me, but who hurts Spencer. There is no one more important to me than that beautiful man right there. A man who puts the needs of everyone else before his own. You have absolutely no idea of the heart that’s inside of him. Or how badly you hurt him with the things you said.”

One last time, Sara tried to say his name, to say something. “Derek…”

“You have five minutes to get your shit and get out of this house. You’re not welcome here until you’re not only ready to apologize and to accept us, but mean it, too.”

The two had a momentary stare down. Derek kept firm, his eyes hard as he looked at his little sister. It was obvious that he hated to do this, but it was equally obvious that he wasn’t going to bend on it. The quickest way to get Derek’s back up was to mess with those he loved. Hurt them, and it was a crime in Derek’s books that was unforgivable. Despite being his sister, Sara had crossed that line and it wasn’t something he would tolerate.

Pain was bright on Sara’s face. Because of it, she lashed out as she wouldn’t have dared to before. “One of these days you’ll wake up and see that I’m right. I know you, Derek. That little boy can’t satisfy you. He can’t give you the family you want and need.”

“You know nothing.” Derek said coldly. He kept his face blank, the anger and hurt he was feeling locked down inside. “I have never loved anyone the way I love Spencer. He’s not just a boyfriend or a partner or a fuck friend. He’s the other half of me. Without him, I’m not whole.”

“He’s a scrawny little nerd who can’t begin to understand you. You’ll get tired of him one day. Then you’ll see I was right.”

Spencer could easily see the anger that lit in Derek’s eyes. This was spiraling out of control way too fast. He ignored Desiree’s touch and pushed away from the counter, setting his cup down. Quick as can be, he placed himself between Sara and Derek, stepping right up to his lover’s face. Without hesitation he brought his hands up and cupped Derek’s cheeks. “Don’t do this.” He whispered to him.

The anger and pain in Derek’s eyes broke Spencer’s heart a little. “Stay out of this, Spencer. Please.” Derek answered just as quietly.

Spencer shook his head. “No, Derek. You’re mad and you’re hurt right now and you’re not thinking clearly. Don’t make a decision like this right now.”

“How can you stand here and defend her after she hurt you that way? You should be angrier than I am!”

“But I’m not.” In contrast to the way Derek’s voice had raised, Spencer kept his quiet and calm. “It hurt, yes. I won’t deny that. But I absolutely refuse to let something like this break apart your family, Derek. I refuse to. She is your sister and you two love one another. Don’t let one argument break that apart.”

“I’m not the one breaking it!” Derek argued with him. “She did it when she came back after had the nerve to talk to you that way after I _warned her_ to be good! We don’t have to tolerate that kind of attitude inside of our own house!”

It was easy to see that Derek’s temper was almost beyond the boiling point. Nothing that Spencer said was going to get through to him right now. No calm reassurances or quiet pleading. So Spencer switched tactics. Right now he needed to get Derek calm and get him away from Sara. There was only one thing that came to mind. “Go take a walk, Derek.” He said firmly. When Derek looked at him with surprise, Spencer moved his hands down to Derek’s chest and gave him a gentle push. “Go. Go take a walk and cool off before you really say something you regret. If this is my home too, then I get to say that I don’t want any fighting in here on our _Christmas_ holiday. Sara’s not leaving. Go walk around and cool yourself off and don’t come back until your temper is down a little.”

“Excuse me?” Derek asked with surprise.

Spencer held firm. “You heard me. Go, now.”

For a long moment the two stared at one another. Then Derek growled and spun away, stalking to the living room. There was the sound of him yanking his shoes on and grabbing his coat and then the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut. Spencer took a deep breath, sighing out the tension that had built in him. That tension built back up when he heard the familiar sound of Derek’s motorcycle starting up and tearing out of the driveway. _That idiot! It’s snowing out there and most likely already icy on the roads and he’s taking his bike out? That fool’s going to get himself killed!_

There was nothing he could do about it, though. Derek would come back when he was calm. All Spencer could do now was sit back and wait. He tried to take another calming breath. Once he felt in control, he turned to look to where Sara still stood, looking both angry and hurt. He didn’t give her a chance to say anything. “I won’t let Derek kick you out of this house.” Spencer told her in a flat voice. “But I can’t make any promises if you continue the way you have been. I was able to stop him this time. If you do this again, you might not be so lucky next time. I suggest you think about that.”

That said, Spencer took his coffee cup and made his way to the living room. After a quick perusal of the movie shelf, he selected one of his Star Wars movies and put it in the DVD player. Once it was started, he sat down on the couch, curling his legs up alongside of him. Not even a minute later, Clooney came padding into the room .The dog instantly jumped up onto the couch and moved into the curve behind Spencer’s legs, lying down and resting his head on the younger man’s hip. Spencer reached over and scratched behind his ears.

After a few minutes, Desiree and Sara joined him, settling down on the love seat. The living room stayed quiet as they watched the movie. Yet the entire time, in the back of his mind, Spencer hoped that Derek would calm down soon and come home. The snow was really picking up outside.

CMCM

The movie was just starting its closing credits and Derek still hadn’t come home. By then, Spencer had become even more nervous. Typically Derek didn’t take this long to cool off when he was mad. Granted, this was something big, but Spencer had never expected him to take this long. He couldn’t help but worry and wonder and wait.

The sound of the phone ringing startled Spencer from his thoughts. Something in the bottom of his stomach seemed to sour a little though he didn’t know why. He stretched, trying to move from under Clooney’s sleeping bulk, stretching to grab the cordless phone that was on the coffee table in front of him. Once he got it, he quickly pressed the ‘talk’ button and brought it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hello. May I speak with Spencer Reid please?” A formal sounding woman asked.

That sour feeling grew stronger. “This is he. Who, may I ask, is calling?”

“Mr. Reid, this is Annabel Graythorn over at Mercy General Hospital. I’m calling in regards to a Derek Morgan. You’re listed as his emergency contact.”

It felt as if the bottom of Spencer’s world dropped out from underneath him. Everything in him seemed to freeze. Somehow he managed to force the words past his lips, asking the question to which he was terrified of the answer. “Is he ok?”


	8. Chapter 8

Stepping out of the elevator, Spencer rushed straight towards the nurses’ station, barely paying any attention to the two girls following behind him. Somehow his voice was steady when he spoke; he didn’t know how. It felt like his body was trembling on the inside. “Spencer Reid for Derek Morgan.” He told the nurse that was manning the desk.

The matronly woman looked through the information on her computer for a moment before nodding and looking up at him. “Down the hall, room 314. But sir, the doctor is with him right now. Only family is allowed in. If you’ll just have a seat, I’ll have her come and get you when she’s done and regular visitors are allowed in.”

Wait out here? Spencer didn’t bother even dignifying that with a response. He turned and marched down the hallway, Sara and Desiree behind him, the woman at the desk calling out to him. There was no way he was going to be able to sit out there and wait for the doctor to come out! No way in hell! The woman who had called to tell him to come in had told him that Derek was alive, but beyond that, she basically hadn’t said anything except for him to come to the hospital. So Spencer had driven to the hospital, terrified of what he was going to find, furious with Derek for driving his bike in the snow, aching at the thought of his partner being hurt. All that had mattered was getting to the hospital to be with him, to find out that he was ok.

Room 314. Spencer didn’t hesitate to open the door and step inside. His eyes took no time to find Derek lying back in the hospital bed. With one sweep, Spencer took in every inch of him, drinking in the sight of the man he loved. There was a bandage wrapped around his head, indicating a head wound of some sort. His left arm was propped up on a pillow, with a woman doctor wrapping an ace wrap around his arm and up over to his hand. Spencer saw nothing else to indicate any other kind of injury.

“Excuse me…” The woman said, looking up from her patient’s arm. She didn’t get the chance to continue. Derek’s eyes shot up and locked right on to Spencer. Everything on him seemed to relax, releasing tension. His eyes went soft and full of love, a look Spencer had seen thousands of times. “Spencer.”

Fear and pain slid out of Spencer with a shaky little sigh. Then he drew his breath back in and pulled himself up a little, marching forward. “Don’t you ‘Spencer’ me, Derek Morgan. You are beyond in trouble right now. What on earth were you thinking?”

“I slid on the ice a little, pretty boy, but it’s not that bad.” Derek hurried to reassure him. With his good hand he gestured at his arm. “The wrist is the worst of it and even that isn’t that bad. Just…”

Spencer held a hand up to silence him. To Sara and Desiree’s surprise, Derek instantly shut his mouth. With a firm nod, Spencer looked to the doctor. “Could you explain to me exactly how this imbecile is injured?”

The corners of the doctor’s mouth twitched with amusement. She didn’t bother asking for permission to answer the question. It was obvious to anyone with eyes that the two men were together. She’d seen the way that Derek had softened and lit up at the sight of the young man walking into the room. Continuing to secure the wrap on her patient’s wrist, she started her explanation. “Mr. Morgan apparently was taking a corner on his motorcycle when he hit ice and slid. Luckily, his jeans and jacket prevented him from some injury, as well as the fact that he was modulating his speed. Still, he slid away from the bike and hit the curb with his arm and head, giving himself a concussion. When the helmet was removed, it had cut part of his forehead, which is why we have the bandaging on.”

“How severe is the concussion? Was there loss of consciousness?” Spencer asked her. He couldn’t stop himself from wrapping one arm around his waist while reaching out with his other hand for Derek. The two laced their fingers together, each soothed by the contact. Sara moved up by Derek’s legs while Desiree moved up beside Spencer, giving her brother a smile when he noticed her. They didn’t say anything yet, just acknowledging one another being there, waiting for the doctor to answer Spencer’s question.

The doctor nodded at him. She moved, pulling up Derek’s chart to consult before answering fully. “To our understanding, he was only unconscious for ten minutes, maximum. That would put him at a grade III concussion. Because of that, we’re insisting he stay overnight for observation. If everything stays well through the night, we’ll release him in the morning.”

Spencer wasn’t done with his questions yet. The woman hadn’t completely explained everything. “And his wrist?”

“A grade two sprain. He’s extremely lucky that it wasn’t broken.” She shook her head at Derek and gave him a firm stare. “You were quite lucky tonight, Mr. Morgan. All of your injuries could have been much more serious. A banged head, a sprained wrist, and bruising is minor in comparison to what could have happened to you. I hope you’ll think about this next time before you take your bike out in the snow and ice.” She put his chart back on the end of the bed and stepped away. “I’m going to go have a nurse get your medication for you and I’ll be back to check in with you in a couple hours. Please, get your rest. It’s the best thing for you at the moment.” And with that, she was gone.

That left the four people alone in the room. Spencer stood there for a moment, gripping tightly to Derek’s hand, his eyes closed as he tried to regulate his breathing and calm his heart. It had been a terrifying drive to the hospital and now that he was here, now that he knew Derek was ok, he felt some of the fear starting to leave. In its place, though, he found anger. _That idiot had to drive in the SNOW and ICE and get himself in an accident._

Derek must have recognized the look on Spencer’s face. He quickly turned to Desiree and engaged her in conversation. “Sorry, Desi. I’m sure this isn’t exactly how you pictured spending time with us when you guys came out.”

She reached out to rub his leg through the blanket for a moment. “Not exactly. I didn’t plan on almost having a heart attack. But I’m glad you’re ok, Derek. You scared the hell outta us.”

“I’m fine, Des. Don’t worry. I’ll be out of here as soon as they bring me the paperwork and we’ll head home. We’ve still got to go get our tree tomorrow and pick up Mom from the airport.”

Spencer dropped Derek’s hand and put both his arms around his waist now as he glared at Derek. “You’re staying overnight just like that doctor told you, Derek. No,” he cut off when it looked like Derek was going to argue. “I don’t want to hear it. You have a concussion, you thick headed imbecile! You’re going to stay right here until that doctor approves you for release.”

“I’m fine, Spencer! Just a bump on the head an a sore wrist, that’s all. I can handle this just fine at home.”

“Like hell. Do you realize all the complications that can stem from a concussion that don’t show up until hours later? The best thing for you is to stay right there!”

Exasperated, Derek glared right back at him. “It’s not that bad! I’m barely injured at all and I sure as hell don’t need an overnight in the hospital for this!”

That was the final straw on Spencer’s patience. His hands clenched into fists on his shirt and his body went taunt. “Do you realize exactly how lucky you are?” He hissed at his boyfriend. Anger and pain were coursing through Spencer in equal measure. He couldn’t control what he was feeling anymore. “Motorcyclists are 25 times more likely experience a deadly accident on the road than those in passenger cars. 11 percent of all roadway accidents that occur in the United States involve motorcycles. Studies show that a little less than half of all motorcycle driver deaths involved no other vehicle. And the highest death and injury rates were among 20-24 year-olds, followed by 25-29 year-olds. Those numbers dramatically increase when you add snow and ice into the equation!”

“Spencer…”

“I send you out to take a walk to cool off and you head out in horrible weather on your motorcycle! Did you even stop to think about how dangerous that was? Did you realize how terrified I was with those statistics running through my mind the entire time you were gone?” His voice cracked as the pain took over his anger. “Do you know how terrified I was when the hospital called to tell me to come in? I could have _lost_ you! You could have died out there, Derek! And if you think for one minute I’m going to risk taking you home now without your doctor’s permission and chance having something happen to your brain than you are obviously still not thinking clearly!”

His impassioned speech still seemed to ring in the room as silence descended over them. All temper had drained off of Derek as he’d listened to Spencer yell at him. Spencer could only stare back at him now, chest heaving, heart racing, aching at the thought of what could have happened. He was so mad and hurt and dammit, he’d been _terrified_!

Gently, Derek reached out, taking hold of Spencer’s elbow. Even though the younger man resisted, Derek steadily pulled him forward until Spencer had no choice but to lift his hip and sit on the edge of the bed or Derek would have simply pulled him up there. The two totally forgot about the other two that were in the room. Once Spencer was on the bed, Derek let go of his elbow long enough to snake his arm around Spencer and pull him to his chest. He rested his chin on top of Spencer’s head. “I’m sorry, baby boy.”

Those quiet words went straight to Spencer’s heart, He let go of his waist to wrap his arms as best he could around Derek, burrowing in against him. To his shame, tears built in his eyes. “I could have lost you, Derek.” He whispered into his chest. Even with the gown on, even with the disinfectant around them, he could still catch Derek’s scent. It eased some of the knot in his stomach. “I was terrified.”

“I’m sorry.” Derek whispered once more. He bent, kissing Spencer hair before resting his cheek there. His arm tightened around him. “I’m ok, sugar. I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, you hear me? You can’t get rid of me this easy.”

The feel of Derek’s arm around him and the sound of his heartbeat in Spencer’s ear were relaxing him even more. He could have stayed there forever if the door hadn’t opened and the nurse hadn’t walked in. “Time for medication!” She said cheerfully. Spencer tried to move out of the way but Derek only held him closer. He took the cup with his pills from the woman, tossing them in his mouth before taking the water and swallowing them down. When he was done, he put his arm back around Spencer and gave him a gentle squeeze.

The nurse smiled at the two of them. “Those will probably put you out before too long, Mr. Morgan. Your body needs that sleep to heal.”

Spencer felt as Derek nodded at her. He closed his eyes and relaxed against Derek’s chest, feeling the rumble as the older man said “Thank you, Ma’am.” Then he was shifting and Spencer could hear the nurse walking away before Derek started to speak again. “You guys don’t have to stay while I sleep. There’s no point to it. I’ll be asleep and I’m fine. Why don’t the three of you head on home?”

That had Spencer’s head popping up. “Home? I’m staying with you.”

Derek gave him a gentle smile and dipped his head down for a kiss. “No, kid, you’re not. I know you hate hospitals and, like I said, I’ll be asleep. There’s no point in you being here.”

“That’s never stopped you from staying with me before. And I do ok in hospitals.” Even he could hear the lie in his own words. At Derek’s dubious look, Spencer wrinkled his nose and amended his words. “I’ll deal with it for you. I’d rather be here with you and a little uncomfortable than not be here at all.”

Once more Derek leaned in and took a kiss. “Go home, pretty boy. Get some sleep yourself, ok? Take a nap, relax, have a good dinner, all that kind of stuff. I’ll be home tomorrow and we’ll get to work on all the fun Christmas stuff we’ve been putting off. This isn’t going to spoil our holiday, all right? But I’ll sleep better now if I know you’re at home. Please? For me?”

He really, really hated when Derek pulled that on him! _People say you’re the one with the puppy dog eyes, but they’ve never been subjected to the pleading look of one Derek Morgan. That man can put me to shame sometimes._ Sighing, he nodded. “Fine, fine. You win this one. I’ll check with the nurses and see what time to pick you up tomorrow.”

“Good.” Derek grinned at him, taking one more kiss, this one lasting a little longer than the others. When they broke apart, both of them were smiling. “Love you, pretty boy.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too.” Spencer said with a grin. “Even if you are going to make me go prematurely gray.”


	9. Chapter 9

The day seemed to go by slowly without Derek there. Desiree kept Spencer company and Sara stayed quietly in the guest room, but it still felt as if the hours dragged. Spencer had never been so grateful to see bedtime roll around. He felt ridiculous for feeling this way, but that didn’t stop it. As he lay in his and Derek’s big, empty bed, staring up at the ceiling, he chastised himself for acting so depressed. _Derek’s fine and he’ll be home tomorrow. There’s no reason to be moping around the house. You’re acting like some lovesick teenager! Grow up and act like a man, you idiot._ Sometimes, Spencer wished he could actually strangle that little voice in his head.

Clooney was curled up by Spencer’s side, whining occasionally. Whether he was upset that his master was gone or sensed that Spencer was unhappy, he’d been whiny and clingy ever since they’d come home from the hospital. Now was no different. The instant Spencer hopped into bed—dressed in his sweats and Derek’s shirt—the dog had joined him and curled against his side.

_You’d think you were a little kid or something. Derek is fine! He’s hurt, yes, but he is ok and he’ll be home soon. So why on earth are you sitting here moping like he’s dying or something? If he could see you he’d be annoyed with how much you’re overreacting._

That wasn’t entirely true. Yes, Derek may occasionally get frustrated with him for overreacting to things, but he was always patient about it. He didn’t let that frustration come out on Spencer except for when he felt it was absolutely necessary. Honestly, Derek was far more tolerant of Spencer’s fears and insecurities than Spencer had ever expected. _It probably has something to do with the fact that he knows why they’re there._

Just that thought was enough to have Spencer shaking his head and rolling onto his side. He was not going to let his thoughts go down that path. Not tonight, while he was sleeping alone in this big bed. No. He just needed to shut his eyes and go to sleep. Then morning would come and he could go to the hospital and pick up his lover and then they would get their tree and go pick up Fran from the airport and their Christmas decorating could start.

With visions of a decorated house and tree in his mind, he and Derek curled up on the couch to watch the lights from the tree and the snow falling outside, Spencer fell asleep.

* * *

It was hours later that Spencer shot straight up in bed, gasping for air, a scream locked tight behind his teeth. At first he didn’t make the connection that he was awake and safe. It took him a long moment to try and remember to breathe properly. A nightmare. It had just been a nightmare. It wasn’t real. Oh, thank God. It wasn’t real.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat and brought a shaky hand up to wipe his face. Jesus, it had been a while since he’d had a nightmare like that. Nausea rolled in his stomach and his body was still shaking. There would be no going back to sleep. Not without Derek here. Typically Derek woke with him, or woke him up from them, and then he helped to soothe the terrified man back down with words and his embrace and just that comforting presence that he had.

God, he couldn’t seem to chase the images out of his brain. He’d been dreaming of Michael again, of course. Anymore, that’s what his nightmares were. Before he’d gotten free from Michael, he had used to think that the horrors he saw on the job were nothing compared to what he lived with at home. Not that his pain was worse. No, not at all. But the bodies he saw, the reports he read…these people were gone. They had died. And he…he still went home to his pain every night. So it wasn’t that his was worse; it was that they had the one thing that he hadn’t—freedom. Their pain was worse, but it was over. He hadn’t seen the end of his.

Not until Derek. Not until the big man had stepped in and changed his life. Yet despite how good things were now, despite Michael being dead and gone, nightmares still plagued Spencer. He’d started this dream back in Dave’s house that night, being held at gunpoint. Only in his dream, he hadn’t been smart enough, hadn’t been fast enough. He’d had to watch with horror as Michael shot Derek in his chest. Watch as Derek dropped to the ground and blood pooled around him. Then Michael had thrown him to the ground and beat him, right there beside Derek’s body.

With a shudder Spencer hopped up. Staying here in bed obviously wasn’t going to help. If anything, it was making it worse. He could feel the low grade panic attack sitting there, waiting to spring up and suck him under. How long had it been since he’d had a panic attack?

He went to the bathroom first, taking care of morning rituals before stripping out of his sweaty clothes and jumping in the shower. Even the warm pulse of the water couldn’t seem to calm him down. There would be no going back to sleep.

Once he was out of the shower, he just grabbed a pair of his pajama pants, tying them off to attempt to keep them on his slender hips, and then he headed out toward the kitchen to make some coffee. If he wasn’t going to sleep, he needed coffee. On the way, he let Clooney into the backyard so the dog could take care of his morning business. Then he went to the pot and started to put together what was needed. It took him longer than normal to do it with the way that his hands were shaking, but eventually he managed it.

 _Get a grip, Spencer! You are an adult and you can handle a bad dream. You can! But, God, it seemed so damn real!_ He scrubbed a hand over his face to try and erase the images from his eyes. It had seemed so real! Even now that he was awake and he knew for a fact that Derek was alive, he had the almost irresistible urge to call him at the hospital and make sure he was ok. _Michael is dead and Derek is alive. You know that. Now don’t go calling the hospital and waking him up and making him worry about you. You can handle this just fine. Just get your cup, drink your coffee, and breathe! Breathe!_

He let Clooney back in before going to grab his cup. The sudden sound of footsteps behind him had him spinning even as his hand dropped for the gun that wasn’t there. His breath caught in his throat. When he saw Desiree standing there in pajama pants and a t-shirt, her eyes wide with surprise, he felt like an idiot. Slowly he relaxed his body and dropped his hand away from his hip. “Sorry.” He apologized quickly. “It’s uh, it’s instinct. You startled me a little.”

“I didn’t mean to. I just couldn’t sleep and I thought I heard you out here, so I figured it was better to come keep you company than stare at the ceiling in my room anymore.”

 _I know that feeling._ He offered her a smile that was just a little shakier than normal and prayed that she wouldn’t notice it. There was something about her that made him feel a little relaxed. She and Derek were quite a bit alike in that aspect. They both tended to just come off as so easy going that a person had a hard time being uncomfortable around them. “Would you like a cup of coffee?” This time his smile was a little steadier. The one she gave him in return eased him a little more. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” She said.

While she took a seat at the table, Spencer moved over to the coffee pot, taking out another cup and setting it beside his. He’d got the coffee poured and was adding sugar while he asked her “Cream or sugar?”

When she didn’t answer, he turned his head a little, ready to repeat his question. The look on her face stopped him. She was slightly wide eyed, her mouth hanging open just a little bit. When she realized he was looking at her, she quickly schooled her expression, her cheeks flushing just a little. “Sorry.”

“Is everything ok?” He watched her expression closely as he asked his question. What had caused her to have that expression? All he’d been doing was pouring their coffee. When he’d turned, her eyes had seemed to be fixed on something. If it had been Derek, he would have known why the man was staring at his backside. He did it quite frequently. But what about the back of him would have…Spencer’s thoughts trailed off when he realized what it was that must have caused her to look at him that way. He was standing in the kitchen, shirtless. While facing the coffeepot, she would have had a perfect view of his back in the light from over the stove, the only light he’d turned on. She would have easily been able to see the scars there. Oh.

He could see the curiosity in her eyes, as well as the sympathy. Not pity, thankfully. But sympathy. That had him relaxing just a little bit. He couldn’t stand having someone pity him. After a long moment in which the two stared at one another, Spencer made a decision. He brought both their cups to the table, as well as the milk and the sugar dish. Those he set down in front of her.

A kind of calm settled over Spencer as he took his seat at the table. Stirring his cup idly, he looked at Desiree, who was still watching him with a small amount of concern. “Derek never told you the full circumstances behind how he and I got together, did he?” Spencer asked her quietly. Something about the morning seemed to call for the quiet. Maybe it was the dim light in the room, or the snow falling down outside, or the quiet demeanor of the woman sitting here with him who was family of the man he loved. It was something, he knew. Maybe all of the above.

“He just told us that you got together after the undercover mission.” Desiree answered just as quietly.

Spencer smiled just a little. He had known that Derek wouldn’t tell his family the details of what had happened. His mother knew because she had been at risk from Michael. The whole truth had been explained to her. But the girls hadn’t been told the full story about what exactly had happened—at least as far as he had known. “Did he or your mother explain about the situation that put you all under protection a few months back?”

She gave him a searching look. “Only that one of your Unsubs was trying to harm us as a way to hurt him and the rest of you.”

“That’s mostly correct. He was trying to harm you all as a way to hurt him, but mostly it was because he wanted to hurt me.” Taking a sip from his cup, Spencer set it on the table and wrapped his cold hands around it, looking down into the dark brew. “Before Derek and I got together, I was dating a man named Michael. For…for a year I lived with him.” He couldn’t bring himself to look up as he said “The scars you were looking at on my back, those were from him.”

A soft gasp came from beside him. “Oh, Spencer.”

He took another bracing drink of the warm brew and made himself continue the story. Now that he’d started, he couldn’t stop. “Michael was exceptionally violent when I told him that I had to go undercover for a while. After we’d been undercover for a short time, something happened that showed Derek what was going on…”

For the next half hour, Spencer told her everything. He didn’t know why he didn’t break it down to short sentences as he would have with someone else. It was like he’d thought earlier; there was just something that seemed to make it easy for the story to come out. He told her about falling in the store, about Derek discovering the marks. He told her all about the case and about everything that had happened afterwards, all the while staring at his coffee.

When his words were finished and he finally dared to look up at her, he was shocked to see the tears in her eyes. “Desi?” The nickname came easy to him in that moment. He didn’t even realize he said it, so shocked was he by her expression.

One of her hands let go of her cup to reach over and take his. Though he wasn’t used to contact, he didn’t flinch away from her, stuck by the look on her face. She squeezed his fingers tightly. “I am so sorry that you had to live through that, Spencer. So very sorry.” She whispered past her tears. “It breaks my heart that you were hurt that way, and even more so to know that my family and I were part of the leverage that kept you there. I can’t help but ache to know that we were part of what helped keep you there, yet at the same time I want to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

That hadn’t been what he’d expected at all. “Pardon?”

“I know that you protected us because you were protecting Derek, but that doesn’t matter. The thought was there. You risked your life, were willing at the end to turn yourself in so that Michael wouldn’t hurt us, even though you didn’t know us. You were willing to be hurt to protect my family. My brother. Thank you.”

Awkward now, Spencer chewed on his lip and fidgeted with his cup. “Well, ah…you’re welcome.” What was he supposed to say? No one had _thanked_ him for this. They’d talked with him and they’d said how they hated that he’d used them as leverage, but none of them had actually _thanked_ him for keeping them safe. It made a little warmth in his stomach.

When she let go of his hand, Spencer brought it back to his cup, taking a drink to give himself time to gather his emotions. Finally he set his cup down and made himself look at her face. “Thank you, for listening.” His cheeks heated just a little. “It’s been a while for me, but I had a nightmare. Without Derek here, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I was just sitting out here and stewing. Talking about this helped, actually. So I guess it’s my turn to say thanks.”

“Anytime, Spencer. My brother loves you, I can see that. And I could tell you loved him before, but this cements that. You’re family now. You’ve just gained yourself a sister. Not only does that mean I’ll pick on you, but it also means you’ve got someone who’ll always have your back and always be there to listen to you, no matter what.”

A sister. Spencer felt his lips curve. “I’ve never had a sister before.”

“Well, you do now. Welcome to the family, Spencer.”

He liked the sound of that.

* * *

Neither of the two in the dining room noticed their audience in the hallway. They hadn’t heard her when she’d come out about the time that Spencer had asked what Desiree knew about the situation that had put them under protection. Sara had frozen in the hallway, curious to what their conversation was. She knew that if she went in there, it would most likely stop. Spencer wasn’t comfortable around her. _With good reason_ her mind argued. She’d quieted that little voice down and had leaned against the wall to listen.

As Spencer’s story had poured out, Sara had found herself staring at the wall opposite her in absolute shock. By the time he was done, she had been crying. When Desiree thanked him, Sara fought down the urge to go in there and thank him as well. He had lived through, through all of _that_ , and he had done it without complaint, solely to protect those that he loved. To protect Derek. It was staggering. _He really does love Derek._ Her mind had already been going that route after seeing the way that Spencer had reacted to Derek being in the hospital, but this confirmed it.

Sara felt beyond guilt. The words that Derek had thrown at her before he’d gone on his ride had echoed around in her mind all day. She’d had to come to terms in her mind with the fact that Derek really did love this kid. Why, she didn’t know. All the things that Derek had said about him, Sara hadn’t seen in Spencer. Now, after hearing this story, she could see it clearly. She could see the heart inside of the humble man.

Tears streaming down her cheeks and shame coiling in her belly, Sara crept down to her room to do some more thinking and to try to figure out how she could make everything right again.


	10. Chapter 10

Being stuck in a hospital by yourself had to be one of the most boring things. Derek woke early in the morning as he always did, but being in the hospital meant that he couldn’t go for his usual morning run. There was no warm body next to him. No soft sounds of sleep coming from the body he had grown so used to having in his bed. It had made for a difficult night of sleep. The only thing that had helped him pass the night was the pain medication they’d given him for his aching wrist before he’d fallen asleep. For someone who wasn’t used to taking strong medication, it had knocked him out.

Now it was morning and he was wide awake in his hospital bed. The only thing Derek wanted was for the next few hours to pass quickly so that Spencer could arrive and take him home.

God, he couldn’t believe how idiotic he’d been. What had possessed him to take his bike out of all things? Sure, he’d been pissed. Hurt, too, by his sister’s actions. Spencer yelling at him to take a walk hadn’t helped his temper at all. But he should have just taken the walk like his pretty boy had suggested. Spencer knew him better than anyone else—Derek thought that Spencer knew him better than his Mama did sometimes. The young man knew that Derek needed something physical to burn out his anger. A walk would have been perfect.

But no, he’d been too annoyed, too hurt, and he’d wanted to get far away from the house that was at the root of it. So he’d hopped on his bike without a second thought and had taken off into the night. He couldn’t help but wince as he remembered the sound of his bike sliding on the pavement; the feel of his body starting to slide as well when he’d hit.

Resolutely he pushed those thoughts back. No, he wouldn’t think about that. The ache in his head and wrist were enough reminder, as well as the random bruises on his body. He didn’t need to sit and relive the moment over and over in his mind to add on to it. But when he pushed that image out of his mind, another one cropped up, almost as painful.

Perfectly he could see the look on Spencer’s face when he’d broke here in the hospital room. The absolute terror that had been in those big eyes while he’d released his emotions behind a scared stream of statistics. He could hear the quaver in Spencer’s words when he’d snuggled close to Derek’s chest and whispered “I could have lost you, Derek.”

That ate at Derek more than anything else. The whole fight that morning had started because he’d been trying to stop someone else from hurting Spencer and in the end he’d been the one to hurt the younger man.

Thinking on the fight brought Derek to thoughts of his sister. It made his heart lurch to think of how his sister was acting. He’d been so positive that his family was going to be there for him. That they would be supportive of him. Yet, not only was his sister not supportive, she’d actually had the audacity to say something to Spencer about how she felt! She was family, dammit! She should have been there for him. Yet she wasn’t.

Derek was drawn from his thoughts when he heard his hospital room door opened. He turned his head, sure it would be one of the nurses. Who else would be coming in at six in the morning? What he saw surprised him. He only had one split second to take in the sight before he found himself with his arms full and he was having the living daylights hugged out of him.

“Baby girl!” Derek let out a warm laugh as Penelope pulled back from him. “What’re you doing here?”

Penelope straightened up and put her hands on her hips. “What am I doing here? What do you mean, what am I doing here? You were in an accident, you insane man you! Of course I’m here!”

“Did Spencer call you?” That surprised him. He hadn’t thought that Spencer would call and tell anyone about something that was, in Derek’s eyes, so minor. He would be pretty much healed by the time the holiday was over!

Penelope grabbed the nearby chair and pulled it over, sitting down with an angry huff. “No, my little baby cakes did _not_ call me. And trust me, he and I will be having a _long_ talk about this one! I have a program on my computer that alerts me anytime one of your names pops up in the local hospitals. Just in case. I woke up this morning and found the alert that told me you were here so I hacked in and found out what happened.” She explained it as if it were all very simple. He didn’t even get time to shake his head at her before she started in on her scolding. “What were you thinking, Derek? You could’ve been seriously hurt!”

He brought his good hand up to rub at his eyes. There was a dull headache throbbing behind them. “I know, Garcia. Trust me. Spencer already read me the riot act when he got here. It was stupid, I get it. I never should have been on the bike in this kind of weather.”

“Sweet little Reid got mad at you?” Penelope sat back in her chair and let a grin unfold. “I think I would’ve paid to see that. I bet he’s hot when he’s mad.”

Derek chuckled softly at his friend. His morose mood that had been on him since he’d woken up was starting to fade away. Penelope was always good for bringing a little sunshine when she visited. “That he is, mama. But trust me, when he gets _really_ mad, it is so not a sight you wanna see. That boy can have one hell of a temper on him.”

Leaning forward, Penelope reached up and took his hand, her face suddenly concerned. “Something’s bothering you.” She said in a gentle voice. “I can see it on your face, so don’t even bother lying to me. What’s going on, Derek? What happened? Did you and Reid get in a fight?”

Had he really thought he’d be able to hide anything from Penelope? Or that he’d even want to for that matter. Aside from Spencer, she was Derek’s best friend. They always talked about everything, no matter what was going on. Not telling her the truth about him and Spencer while they were undercover had been one of the hardest things Derek had ever done. Usually Penelope was his sounding board when something was going on in his life.

He looked at her now and abruptly gave up any ideas of acting tough. “No, Spencer and I didn’t fight, not really.” And with that, he told her everything that had happened since his sisters has arrived. He told her about the first issue he’d had with Sara and her storming out and then coming back. He told her about how off Spencer had been the night before and about the flashback and then their conversation in the bedroom. Then he caught her up on everything that had happened yesterday. By the time he was done, his temper was soaring. “How am I just supposed to cool off, Garcia? He wants me to relax and to just let her stay there! Let her stay like she didn’t have the nerve to insult the person I love in our home! I mean, I love Sara. She’s my sister and I’m always gonna love her. But like hell if I’m going to tolerate her hurting him that way!”

“What about her hurting you?” Penelope asked gently.

Surprised, Derek sat up a little straighter, looking to Penelope curiously. “What?”

“You’ve said quite a bit about what she said about Reid and how she hurt him, but not once have you really talked about how much it hurt you. She’s your sister, Derek. She’s supposed to love and support you and she didn’t. I know that’s got to hurt.”

Leave it to Penelope to go right for the heart. What his sister had done, it did hurt. It hurt quite a bit. But he hadn’t let himself focus on that. Instead, he’d focused on what she’d done to Spencer. How she’d hurt Spencer. It was easier than dealing with his own pain. “It does hurt.” The words were quiet and just a little shaky. “I mean, of course it’s going to. She’s my sister, baby girl. I didn’t think she’d act like this. To have her throw Carl up in my face…” He cut his words off with an angry grimace.

Penelope said nothing. There were times to talk and times to listen. This was most definitely one of those times that it was best to just listen. So, holding Derek’s hand, she did just that.

“And then I let her back in the house, gave her another chance, and what does she do? She hurts him.” Derek tried to keep himself from squeezing Penelope’s hand too tightly. “She betrays my trust and verbally attacks someone I love. And it hurts to know that, because of me, Spencer got shit. When we were arguing the other night, after the flashback…did you know he gets crap at work about us? I want to look out for him and I’m failing at that, Garcia. I couldn’t protect him from our last Unsub, I couldn’t protect him from Michael, I haven’t protected him from people at work, and apparently I can’t even manage to protect him against my own family.”

The pain in those last words seemed to be the breaking point for Penelope. She rose up from her chair and moved right up to him, wrapping him in her arms. Derek let himself be hugged; let her pull him close so that his head rested on her shoulder. With his good arm he hugged her back. It was the perfect antidote to the pain that was growing inside of him at the moment.

One of Penelope’s hands gently stroked at the back of his head, her fingernails running lightly over the skin there. “You listen to me and you listen well, Derek Morgan. What all these people have done to Reid, none of it was your fault. You couldn’t have saved him from any of it, sugar plum. And you have protected him. You got him the heck away from Michael when no one even knew what was going on. You helped him to stand up for himself and in the end, you shot that sicko. The people at work, well, even I didn’t know they were giving my little genius trouble and I know everything!”

“I just want to be able to keep him from hurting any more. Too many people have hurt the kid already. He’s been through way too much shit in his life. And then to have it happen in our home, the one place he should feel totally at ease, and have it happen because of _my_ family? How am I supposed to be calm and ok with that?”

“You’re not.” She answered easily. Pulling back, she cupped a hand under his chin and made him look at her. “You’re not going to be ok with it and you’re not supposed to. But you _are_ supposed to deal with it together, the two of you. Not just you and not just him. Instead of getting mad and blowing up, or dropping it altogether, why don’t you sit down with Reid and talk to him about what he’d like to do and what you’d like to do and figure it out together? You’re a team, sweet cheeks. And it’s the Christmas holiday. Peace, love, all of that beautiful, sparkly stuff.”

Derek couldn’t help but chuckle at her. “In your own zany way, you’ve made a good point. I’ll talk to him. We’ll take care of it, together.”

“If I’d known that all it would take was a talk with Garcia, I would have called her yesterday instead of sending you off to take a walk.”

Spencer’s amused voice filled the hospital room. Love filled Derek’s heart and his lips curved with happiness even as he was lifting his eyes instinctively toward that voice. There in the doorway stood Spencer, hands stuffed deep in the pockets of Derek’s winter jacket, a knit cap from Penelope on his head, and a smile curving his lips. “Spencer.” Derek said. Just that, but it was enough.

The younger man walked into the room and right over to the two of them. He let Penelope hug him, awkwardly hugging her back, and then he leaned in and gave Derek a kiss as greeting. The older man sighed at the feeling of those familiar lips on his. Some of the tension and pain in him eased with just that little kiss. “You’re here awfully early, baby boy.”

“Well, your mother called and said that there was a call for a storm, so she got her flight switched to an earlier one. The girls are on their way in their rental car to pick her up now. While they do that, I came to check you out of here. I’ve already talked to the nurses and your doctor and, so long as you stop off and sign the papers at the desk, you are now a free man.” An impish light danced in Spencer’s eyes. “I thought you might prefer to be home when your mom arrives, instead of bringing her here.”

“On that little note, I’m going to go ahead and let you two go. I’ve got a date with Kevin for breakfast and then an afternoon braving the malls with the girls.” Penelope said with a grin. She stole a hug from each of them, kissing both their cheeks, much to Spencer’s embarrassment.

The younger man did manage to smile at her, though. “Don’t forget, you’re supposed to come over tomorrow.” He reminded her.

The peppy blond grinned at him as she made her way to the door. “Forget? Reid, you wound me! How could I forget?” The two were going to be doing Christmas baking. Spencer could cook, and he did occasionally, but he much preferred baking and he was rather good at it, as was Penelope. The two in the kitchen together was something Derek certainly wasn’t going to protest.

Once she was gone, Spencer turned to Derek and gave him that shy smile that the older man loved so much. “Why don’t we get you home, honey?” Spencer said.

Derek’s heart gave a little flutter. _Man, if anyone knew, they’d think you were a total chick_ he thought to himself. But, really, he didn’t care. Spencer was not one for using pet names. He used someone’s nickname or their given name, but in relationships he was not one for pet names. It made the few times that he did use them all the more special. When he called Derek honey, or baby, it always made his boyfriend’s heart flutter.

Just as he started to climb from the bed, Spencer leaned in close, biting at the bottom of his ear and making Derek’s whole body freeze. “If we get out of here soon enough, there’s a big empty house waiting for us. Between arrival time, gathering her luggage, and driving home in this weather, I estimate we have eighty minutes before your family returns. I can think of plenty of ways to spend that time.” Spencer murmured in his ear. Those heated words went straight to Derek’s loins.

He was dressed and ready to go in under five minutes.


	11. Chapter 11

The soft sounds of Christmas music floated through the kitchen as Spencer and Derek worked together to make breakfast. The two were both freshly showered and dressed, straight down to their shoes so that they could take Clooney out once the food was ready. The young doctor had tried to get his lover to sit back and relax, maybe drink a cup of coffee now that he was home, but Derek had just laughed long and loud and stepped right up to the counter to help Spencer gather what was needed. They weren’t making a complicated breakfast; just simple French toast. They figured that Fran would be hungry after her flight and they were both hungry as well. Spencer couldn’t help his grin when he thought about _how_ they’d worked up an appetite.

A hand smacking against his ass had Spencer jumping and jolting out of his thoughts. He turned his head to glare at his lover. “What?”

“I saw that look, Spencer. We don’t have enough time.”

His glare melted away to a grin. Even as his eyes twinkled, Spencer tried to look innocent while flipping the toast on the electric griddle. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Derek.” He barely resisted laughing when he received another smack to his backside. From the corner of his eye he saw Derek moving to gather cups and plates from the cupboards. The older man was smiling as well. “Uh huh, sure thing, baby boy. Like I really believe that one.” Derek taunted. He chuckled as he headed to the table. “I think I’m just going to set the table now. It’s a safe enough distance from you.”

“Safe enough distance?” Spencer exclaimed. He turned, hands on his hips, to mock glare. “And what do you mean by that?”

Derek didn’t even miss a beat. “You know exactly what I mean. The last time you got that look while we were cooking, the food got burned and set off all the smoke detectors.”

That memory had Spencer humming slightly in remembered enjoyment. They’d been making chicken and he’d been in a bit of a frisky mood, playing around with Derek despite his lover reminding him repeatedly about the food. It really hadn’t taken much for Spencer to entice his lover into doing what he wanted and forgetting entirely about the food. “You weren’t complaining at the time.” He reminded him.

Now that the table was set, Derek straightened up and laughed. “Of course not! Do I look stupid to you?”

“Not at all.” Spencer moved over, unable to resist giving Derek a brief kiss. Well, he’d intended on it being brief. But Derek tasted so good, slightly sweet from the glass of juice he’d drank, and Spencer found himself leaning in, deepening the kiss even more, his tongue coming out to trace over Derek’s lips where it was eagerly admitted.

It was Derek who eventually pulled back. He was panting slightly and there was a glazed look to his eyes that made Spencer want to hum with satisfaction. At least, until Derek said “The French toast, baby.”

With a yelp, Spencer spun and raced over to the griddle, pulling the food off and laying it on a plate. He looked at it all with a sigh of relief. He hadn’t burned it. Thank God. He flushed a little as he turned the griddle off and set the spatula on the counter. Hearing Derek laugh, Spencer stuck his tongue out at him as he brought the plate of food to the table. “Shut up, Derek Morgan.”

“Make me.”

The room was silent but for the sounds of ‘Deck the Halls’ playing from the radio. Spencer looked over at Derek, contemplating what he was going to do. The man was injured, so certain things were a little limited. Spencer didn’t want to hit his hand on accident or aggravate his head injury. He took a few steps forward, moving around the table. Derek watched him and moved to make sure the table stayed between them. The both of them were grinning.

Spencer looked behind him and back at Derek. He was between his lover and both the hall and the living room. “You’re trapped, Derek.” He said gleefully. “There’s nowhere to go. Do you really wish to reiterate that statement?”

For a second Derek looked like he was thinking hard. Then his eyes lit. “Make me.” He said once more. Then, as Spencer moved, Derek grabbed the patio door and shot out into the snow filled backyard. Spencer only paused for a moment before he ran out after him. It was _freezing_ , but Derek’s laughter drifted back to him as the older man raced across the yard, Spencer hot on his heels.

Half bending as he ran around one of the trees, Derek gathered up a snowball and chucked it behind him, catching Spencer on his hip.

Spencer found himself laughing and bending to make his own snowball. He darted behind one of the three trees in the yard, hiding out as he listened to Derek move. The urge to giggle was almost irresistible. Poking his head out, he saw Derek’s head to the side of the other tree. With surprisingly accurate aim, Spencer threw his snowball, hitting the top of Derek’s bald head. The resulting shout had Spencer laughing.

So started Spencer Reid’s first snowball fight, ever. The snowballs flew back and forth, each one racing to get the other, trying to hide so they wouldn’t get attacked. The backyard was full of their laughter. Spencer gathered his latest missile, trying to peek around the tree to see if he could see Derek. When he heard movement behind him, he spun back around, finding himself almost face to face with his lover. Derek just grinned at him and tackled him straight down to the ground. With a loud laugh, Spencer hit the ground. “Derek!”

“Admit I won, pretty boy!” Derek exclaimed.

Laughing so hard he almost snorted, Spencer bucked against him. “Never!” With a strategic twist he moved his lower half at the same time as tickling Derek’s sides. It disabled the other man enough that Spencer could flip their positions and pin Derek down into the snow. He grinned down at him, straddling his waist. “Admit that I won, Derek.”

“Enjoying yourselves, children?”

The female voice echoed into the backyard, causing both their heads to snap up and look to the back patio. There stood Fran Morgan, with Desiree and Sara on either side of her, all three of them grinning like loons.

“Oh man.” Spencer muttered. He couldn’t wipe away his grin, though. “I’m never going to meet any member of your family in a normal fashion, am I?”

Derek’s eyes took on a devilish cast. He grabbed Spencer’s soaking wet shirt, yanking him down to murmur something in his ear. When the two pulled apart, they were smirking. For a second they paused, gathering themselves. Then, quick as could be, Spencer rolled off of Derek. The two grabbed snow, making snowballs, and threw them as quickly as they could at the porch. Spencer caught Desiree, while Derek got his mother first, quickly followed by one for Sara.

For a second the women stood frozen. Then, to Spencer’s complete and total shock, Fran Morgan gave a grin so like her son’s. “It’s on now, kids.” That was all the warning she gave before she bent and gathered up a snowball of her own. Spencer shot to his feet and took off running, laughing loudly, Derek by his side. The fight was on!

The group ran around the yard, throwing snowballs and laughing for almost an hour. By the time they finally stopped, they were all thoroughly soaked, cheeks red from the cold and from their laughter. Derek slung an arm around Spencer’s waist as they stepped up onto the back porch, stomping snow off their feet. Spencer couldn’t help but smile at everyone. He was wet, half frozen, and he had never had so much fun.

Fran stepped up with them, the girls right beside her. She looked over at Spencer and Derek and smiled. “I haven’t done that in years!” She exclaimed, brushing snow out of her hair. “Oh, I’d forgotten how much fun that is.”

Breaking away from Spencer, Derek moved over and gave his mother a hug. “Welcome, Mama.” He said teasingly.

She laughed and hugged him tightly. When they broke apart, she moved to Spencer, not hesitating to hug him as well. He shyly hugged her back, still smiling. “Welcome, Ma’am.”

“Fran, dear. Just Fran. I think we’re a little beyond formalities.” She gestured to them and the yard as she said this, drawing another laugh from the group. Impulsively she gave Spencer yet another hug. “It’s good to see you boys, the both of you. I knew I was right. The two of you are perfect for one another; it’s easy to see that.”

Shock painted Spencer’s face for a second. Derek just grinned at his mother and shook his head. “Can’t get much past you, can I, Mama?”

She giggled and shook her head at her son. “Could you ever? This wasn’t even hard to figure out! I’m not an idiot, Derek. Between that trouble months ago, the way you talk about the boy, and then finding him here at the house, what else was I supposed to think? I’m not slow. I’m so happy for the two of you!” She gave them no time to say anything else. “Now, let’s go get dry and enjoy that breakfast I saw on the table. I can’t wait for you guys to catch me up on everything!” That said, she started bustling them all inside.

When they were back in their bedroom, Spencer moved to the bathroom, removing his wet clothes and tossing them into the bathtub. “Your mom is one in a million, Derek.” He said. Behind him, Derek was moving into the bathroom as well, stripping off his wet shirt. “That she is, pretty boy.” He paused in removing his pants to steal a kiss from Spencer. “I told you she’d love you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Spencer couldn’t stop smiling, though. “I like her too. Not exactly how I imagined the meeting would go, but I must say this was quite a bit more fun than anything I’d pictured.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the Morgan family, baby boy. Fun is part of the package.”

* * *

After everyone had changed into dry clothes and the wet ones had been put in the wash, they all settled down to eat breakfast, quickly microwaving the food to heat it back up. It wasn’t great reheated but none of them cared. Food was eaten and stories were told about friends and family back home. A second pot of coffee was made, the laundry was switched to the dryer, and then the group sat back around the table and continued to talk. It was a perfect morning for Spencer.

He had laughed when Derek told his mother why he was wearing a brace, flushing when she started to scold him for his stupidity. Spencer made a mental note to remember the tone she used; maybe next time he might be more effective in scolding Derek if he could duplicate that tone.

There were no questions about what had happened with Michael all those months ago. Fran never even brought it up, apparently satisfied with what she did know. For that, Spencer was grateful.

The woman was quite a character, though. It was easy for Spencer to see where Derek had gotten his charm and his sense of humor from. Fran had a charisma about her that just made everyone comfortable. It was easy to talk with her. Surprisingly, Spencer found himself way more at ease than he had ever thought he would be. She drew him into the conversation, not seeming to mind when he rambled a little if they hit a topic he enjoyed. To make the morning even better, Spencer noticed that Sara wasn’t as sullen or angry as she’d been the past few days. Whether it was because her mother was there or for another reason entirely, Spencer wasn’t going to overanalyze it. He was just going to enjoy it.

She and Derek didn’t seem too much at odds either. They didn’t speak directly to one another that often, but there was no more fighting. No angry glares between them. All of that was put aside. Sara even commented on something Spencer said at one point, giving him an honest, slightly hesitant smile to go with it.

Eventually Fran decided that she was going to go unpack her things and settle in a little bit. While she did that, the boys were under orders to go and fetch their Christmas tree, something Spencer had been looking forward to for days. Fran seemed appalled they didn’t have one yet. “It’s almost Christmas and you still haven’t decorated!” She scolded the two of them. “Well, we’re going to remedy that. I’m going to have a little lie down while you get the tree and then, when you get back, we’re going to get this house into the Christmas spirit.”

Those words reminded Spencer exactly how close Christmas was. He looked at the calendar and realized that the day after tomorrow was Christmas Eve. He couldn’t believe it. For the first time since he was a small child, he found himself looking forward to the holiday instead of dreading its arrival. He was actually eager to celebrate. This year he had a family to celebrate with.

On Christmas Eve they would head to Dave’s house. The older profiler had told the team that he was hosting Christmas Eve at his place whether they liked it or not. That allowed for the families to do their own thing on Christmas day. But Spencer and Derek had both offered for Dave, Emily and Penelope to join them on Christmas at their house for dinner. Aaron would be with his family and JJ would be with hers, so that left the other three members of their team. Each one had happily accepted.

Riding beside Derek on their way to get the tree, Spencer couldn’t stop smiling. He had a feeling this Christmas would be one he would remember for a long time. Not only would he be spending it with the man he loved, but with the others who had become his family. Settling back in his seat, Spencer let his thoughts drift pleasantly, his hand laced with Derek’s, his smile still on his lips.


	12. Chapter 12

Hands on her hips, Fran Morgan surveyed the tree that Derek had placed into its stand in the living room. Furniture had been shifted so that it was prominently displayed in the corner where it would be the ‘centerpiece’ and would light up the room.  “It’s perfect!” she declared. The top of it came close to the ceiling, with just enough room left for the topper, and the branches were thick and full. It was a beautiful tree, Spencer had to admit. He’d happily gone with Derek to pick it and had wandered the tree lot like a kid, eagerly looking over them all, debating with Derek until they finally found the one they loved. Then they’d brought it home, got it in the house and in its stand, and now everyone was gathered in the living room, ready to start their decorating.

Looking at the tree, Spencer found himself speaking before thinking about it “Did you know that Franklin Pierce, the fourteenth president, was the first president to place a Christmas tree in the White House in 1856?” he said to the room.

Derek chuckled and stepped up beside him, wrapping one arm around him and kissing his cheek. “Nope. I bet you’ve got a whole slew of tree facts in your head, don’t you?”

That was all it took to open the floodgates that Spencer had been working so hard to hold back. “The average Christmas tree takes seven to ten years to mature. They’ve been sold commercially in the United States since sometime around 1850. The best-selling trees are Scotch pine, Douglas fir, Noble fir, Fraser fir, Virginia pine, balsam fir and white pine.”

“I always wondered why it’s a tradition to put up a Christmas tree.” Fran said as she looked at the tree. “Not that I don’t love it. I do. I just never quite understood the connection between the actual celebration and decorating a tree.”

Spencer had to actually bite on his lip to keep himself from spouting out the information that came to mind. It was hard, though. But he was trying to get a little better about rambling. He felt Derek squeeze on his waist before the older man chuckled once more. “Just let it out, Spencer. I know you’ve got it in there and I’m actually a little curious about this too. Go ahead; tell us why we use trees at Christmas.”

The others laughed at the eager look on Spencer’s face. With no more encouragement, he launched into his ramble, his words almost tripping as he eagerly got into what he was saying.

“Before the beginning of Christianity, ancient peoples hung evergreen boughs over their doors and windows. In many countries it was believed that evergreens would keep away witches, ghosts, evil spirits, and illness. Early Romans marked the solstice with a feast called the Saturnalia in honor of Saturn, the god of agriculture. The Romans knew that the solstice meant that soon farms and orchards would be green and fruitful. To mark the occasion, they decorated their homes and temples with evergreen boughs.”

Desiree started to say something, but Spencer kept talking, missing that she’d even been starting to speak or the look of amusement that Derek gave her.

“Germany is credited with starting the Christmas tree tradition in the 16th century when devout Christians brought decorated trees into their homes. Some built Christmas pyramids of wood and decorated them with evergreens and candles. It is a widely held belief that Martin Luther, the 16th-century Protestant reformer, first added lighted candles to a tree. Most 19th-century Americans found Christmas trees an oddity. The first record of one being on display was in the 1830s by the German settlers of Pennsylvania. But, as late as the 1840s Christmas trees were seen as pagan symbols and not accepted by most Americans.”

There was silence in the living room for a moment. Spencer felt his cheeks heat a little. _You’ve really got to learn how to condense the information you try to give so it’s not such a long winded ramble. One of these days you’re going to actually drive someone insane. They’re probably regretting letting you tell them now._

Because of his thoughts, he was immensely surprised when Fran nodded at him and smiled. “That was interesting.” She told him. There was no trace of mockery in her words at all. That eased Spencer just the slightest bit and allowed him to give her one of his shy smiles. “I didn’t realize that the tradition went so far back.” She continued on. Then her face lit with a smile. “Either way, I’m going to enjoy it. Why don’t we get the decorations opened and start putting them on the tree? Derek, would you put some Christmas music on?”

Derek moved to his stereo to put it on the Christmas station while the women headed to the boxes to start opening them. Spencer stood slightly awkwardly, unsure of what he should be doing. Facts about Christmas, he was full of. But actual personal knowledge of what to do with the holiday…not so much. It had been a long time since he’d had an at-home, decorated and celebrated Christmas. _Not since I was five. After that year, Dad stopped trying._

If anyone noticed Spencer’s discomfort or uncertainty, they chose not to comment on it. Instead, Desiree reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him over to one of the boxes with her. “This one has the tree skirt and all the tablecloths and runners.” She explained to him. Spencer found his hands full of material as she shoved something there. “Why don’t you put the skirt around the tree while I put the runners on the tables?”

There was nothing for Spencer to do but follow orders. And so he found himself first putting the tree skirt around the tree—a pretty skirt that had the pattern of a Christmas train around it—and then he was delegated the task of helping Derek put the garland on the tree. “Garland always goes on first.” Sara told him as she handed it to him. There was a hesitant little smile on her lips, shy and sweet, a look that Spencer recognized. A little nervous, a little hesitant, but honest. It was something he’d worn a million times around people. Sara was trying.

Together, Derek and Spencer started to wrap the silver garland around their wide tree. It took one standing on one side and one on the other to be able to wrap it right. Derek kept laughing as Spencer tried to make it all as evenly distributed as possible. When Derek first laughed at him, Spencer flushed a little and started to instinctively drop his head down, worried that he’d irritated him. To his surprise, Sara leaned over from where she was pulling out lights and she smacked Derek’s arm. “Quit laughing at him, Derek! You always make it look lopsided anyways!”

“I do not!” Derek argued back good naturedly.

The three siblings started to debate previous trees as Derek and Spencer finished off the last of the garland. Next came the lights. As Spencer helped to wrap those on, he found himself smiling widely, listening to fake argument. In the background ‘Jingle Bells’ was playing cheerfully. Fran was going to the front door, sticking the wreath on the outside of it. When she came back in, they were ready for ornaments.

With each ornament that was brought out, a story was told to go with it. Spencer was handed one to put on the tree that looked like a homemade star. Fran handed it to him with a smile that was bright with remembrance. “Derek made this in second grade for his father and I.” She explained fondly. “When the kids left home, I gave each of them a box with some of their ornaments in them and I kept some of the others. That way each to them would be able to make their tree a little more like home if they weren’t able to get back home to me.”

The idea of that was a warm one. Spencer found himself wishing his mom had done something like that for him; or that he had ornaments that he could add to the tree. He pushed that thought away with a pang and turned back to the present moment.

When he was given another ornament, this one with a picture of Derek at age four, he couldn’t help his delighted laugh. Derek stepped up to him, looking over his shoulder before groaning. “I forgot some of these have pictures.” Still, he was smiling.

“You were a cute child, Derek.” Spencer kissed him reassurance. “You look awfully happy.”

“I was. Christmas has always been one of my favorite times of the year.”

During the decorating of the tree, Spencer learned more about the Derek’s than he’d ever known before. In them, he saw a close knit family. He saw the love they shared for one another and the love that they all had for Derek’s father. One ornament was hung silently, a little ball on which was written “In Loving Memory” and carried the date of his death.

Derek was the one to put the tree topper on, standing on a step stool to reach it. He took it from Spencer, who handed it up to him, and settled the star on the top, plugging it in to the top of the lights. Then he stepped back down to admire his handiwork.

By the time they were done, the tree was loaded with decorations. Fran ordered everyone to take a seat and get comfortable while she had Derek kill the lights and plug the tree in. Spencer watched from his spot on the couch as the tree was lit. It was by far and above the most beautiful tree he’d ever seen. He found his lips curving as his heart warmed at the sight. When Derek slid onto the couch next to him, moving to snuggle up right against his side, it was perfect. This moment was perfect.

“I think decorating and lighting the tree has always been one of my favorite parts of the holiday.” Sara said softly.

Desiree smiled over at her. “Mine was always the baking. I loved to get in the kitchen with Mom and start baking all those delicious treats.”

“I always liked Christmas Eve.” Derek spoke up from where his head was nestled against Spencer’s shoulder. The younger man had wrapped an arm around him, keeping him close against his side. “I liked when everyone came over and we got to play games and eat and laugh and wonder what Santa was going to bring us the next day.”

Fran went next, the memories bright in her eyes. “I always loved the night before. Waiting for you kids to fall asleep. Your dad and I would peek in and see you all passed out on your beds even after you all claimed you were going to wait up for Santa, determined to see him. Then we’d go and eat the cookies and drink the milk and set out your presents. Your dad loved in the morning when you’d come down and he got to watch how excited you were when the milk and cookies were gone.” She stayed silent for a bit, all of them remembering those times with fondness. Then her eyes turned toward Spencer. “What about you, Spencer? What was your favorite part of Christmas?”

Awkwardly he shifted on the couch, his eyes dropping down to his lap. He had hoped they wouldn’t expect him to contribute to their moment here. He’d been content to simply listen to them. He chewed on his lip as he tried to think of anything about the holiday that he could honestly say he enjoyed as a child. “When…when I was five, Mom and I decided to make gingerbread men.” He started out in a soft voice. His eyes drifted shut as the memory came over him. “We burned the first three batches, but she didn’t let it stop us. She made another one and that time we actually managed to make it right. They came out wonderful. I remember sitting at the table and putting the candy on them after she put the frosting on.” He remembered the way his Mom had looked, flour in her hair and on her clothes, a smear of frosting on her cheek, and her grin a mile wide. The way her laughter had rang through the kitchen each time they made a mess. It was one of the only good Christmas memories he had.

Derek rubbed a hand over his leg. “That’s a nice memory, baby boy.”

“It’s the best Christmas memory I have. I’ve never forgotten how happy she was that day.” His smile faltered just the slightest when he thought about other Christmases.

Desiree had obviously picked up on his discomfort and was trying to switch the topic when she asked him “Did you bring over any of your own decorations, Spencer? I’m sure we can make room on the tree for some of your stuff, too. This is your tree as much as it is Derek’s.”

Instead of easing his tension, that actually made it grow. His gaze dropped even lower and his words turned to a mumble. “I don’t have anything.” Embarrassed, his words tripped out a little before he could even think about what he was saying. “After that year, we didn’t really do much for holidays. What ornaments we did have were lost when Mom caught the tree on fire when I was ten. I didn’t bother getting one the next year.”

“You didn’t get one? Shouldn’t…shouldn’t your mom or dad have done that?” Sara asked hesitantly.

“Sara Ann!” Fran exclaimed. Her voice and expression warned her daughter to close her mouth.

Spencer fiddled with Derek’s fingers as a way to try and ease his nerves. “No, no, it’s ok, Fran.” He hurried to reassure her. He bit his lip once more. “My um, my dad left when I was ten and Mom wasn’t really that lucid, most especially at the holiday season. She wasn’t up for thinking about a tree or anything like that. I knew it would only agitate her more, so I didn’t decorate. But I did make our dinner that year. It turned out fairly well.”

There was a pained look on Desiree’s face. “You made Christmas dinner at the age of ten?”

“I learned how to cook by the time I was seven.” Shrugging, Spencer looked around at their saddened expressions, not quite understanding why this bothered them. “I was an exceptionally bright child. Figuring out the logistics behind preparing food wasn’t that difficult to me. It was necessary to learn so I could guarantee that dinner was on the table or that I had lunch. Dad wasn’t always at home and Mom wasn’t always capable of cooking.”

It was Derek who shifted off this topic, sensing his partner’s discomfort and his family’s distress. “Why don’t we go ahead and start decorating the rest of the house? I’ve got lights to put up outside.”

Everyone got to their feet, moving to the boxes that held the outdoor lights. Desiree caught on to what Derek was doing to try and lighten the mood and helped it along by launching into a story about one year that they’d put up lights and how Sara had been terrified that Santa wouldn’t find their house if they didn’t put lights up.

Before Spencer could join them, Derek stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. When Spencer turned, he found his lips captured in a kiss with just a hint of roughness at the edges. It sent heat straight to his loins. Derek pulled back when they both needed to breathe, resting his forehead against Spencer’s.

“What was that for? Not that I’m complaining.” Spencer breathed out.

Derek pressed their lips together again, gentler this time. “I love you, pretty boy.” He murmured when they pulled back.

Still slightly confused but not too concerned, Spencer smiled at him. “I love you too, Derek.”

Hands linking, the two moved to join the others around the Christmas lights and to finish decorating their house.


	13. Chapter 13

The morning of Christmas Eve, Spencer woke up before Derek. That, in and of itself, was a surprise. The younger man lay in bed for a while, just relishing in the comfort and quiet. He was curled against Derek’s side, one leg thrown over Derek’s, his hand resting over Derek’s heart, his head on his shoulder. Derek had one arm around his waist, keeping him close. Sleepily Spencer nuzzled in. Nothing ever felt better to him than lying in his lover’s arms. Here he felt loved, protected, cherished. Here, he felt so many things he had never felt with anyone else.

Eventually he felt Derek start to stir. No matter what, that man’s internal alarm clock was set on early. That little bit of predictability about him made Spencer smile. He snuggled in closer as he felt Derek wake and planted little kisses on the side of his neck. A low humming sound vibrated Derek’s chest before he turned his head down, allowing Spencer to capture his lips for a kiss.

When they broke apart, the two were smiling. Derek’s eyes were barely cracked open, not fully awake. “Mornin, pretty boy.”

“Morning.” Spencer returned. He stretched just enough for another slow, sleepy kiss.

Bringing his other arm over, Derek pulled Spencer even closer to him. The young man didn’t mind. “How long you been awake?” Derek asked.

“Just a few minutes.”

“Mm. You could’ve woke me.”

A twinkle entered Spencer’s eyes as he tipped his head back up to look at him. “I know. I was contemplating it. Then I remembered that your mother is as early a riser as you and, quite frankly, I don’t need a repeat of that moment with Desi in the kitchen. At least it was just your sister that heard us. I don’t need your Mom hearing too.”

The chuckle Derek gave shook the two of them just a little. Amusement danced over his features. “Does that mean you’re denying me while my family is here, Spencer? That’s harsh, man.”

“We might be able to figure out something.” Smirking, Spencer brought his face back to Derek’s chest to snuggle once more. “If you’re good.”

Any return comment Derek was going to make was interrupted by a muted clang coming from down the hallway. It only took them a second to figure out what it was. “Ma’s making breakfast.” Derek said with a happy sigh.

This time it was Spencer’s turn to chuckle. Carefully he extracted himself from his boyfriend’s arms and sat up in bed. He stretched his arms over his head, trying to work out any kinks he’d got while sleeping. He heard Derek groan lightly and felt the weight on the bed shift. Knowing what was coming, he jumped to his feet at the side of the bed, spinning his head to grin at Derek, who was half sitting up, one hand stretched to where Spencer had just been. The grin he wore was mischievous.

Laughing, Spencer grabbed his sweats, yanking them on over the boxers he’d worn to bed. “Uh-uh, Derek. I don’t think so.”

“You don’t play fair, kid.”

Spencer arched an eyebrow at him. “I was unaware that was a requirement.”

“It’s on, now.” Derek sat up and swung his legs off the bed, his grin turning sharp.

Before Derek could do anything, Spencer shot off toward the bedroom door, having seen his lover’s intent in his eyes. His laughter echoed behind him and he could hear Derek’s deeper humor following him. The young man wasn’t a fool; he raced into the kitchen, heading straight to the coffee pot and throwing a smile to Fran. She smiled back at him, starting to speak, when Derek raced into the room.

Derek took one look at Spencer, then over to his mother and back to Spencer again. Raising one hand, he pointed a finger at his lover, who was trying to smother his grin as he got himself a cup of coffee. “This isn’t over, Spencer.”

“Hm?” Spencer added sugar to his coffee and lifted his mug, hiding his smirk behind his cup.

“That’s a low blow, using a man’s Mama against him. You think it means you’re safe cause you ran in here with her?”

Spencer barely had time to read the look in Derek’s eyes and set his cup down—not wanting it to get spilled—before Derek stepped forward and grabbed his hips, yanking their bodies against one another. One of his hands came up to fist in Spencer’s hair, pulling his head back and down just enough that Derek could claim his lips. Spencer reacted instinctively. His hands came up to grip in Derek’s pajama pants and his body arched into him even as a moan slid past his lips. Sensation overwhelmed him. Derek’s warm body against him, that hot and demanding mouth on his and that delicious pull at his hair that left him aching and needy.

When Derek finally broke their kiss, Spencer could only stare at him, slightly dazed. He didn’t even notice Desiree and Sara had come into the kitchen as well. His eyes were locked on Derek’s dark ones, which were looking at him with lust and humor. “I always win, pretty boy.” He leaned in and nipped at Spencer’s lip before letting go of his hair. The older man moved him, chuckling when Spencer stumbled on weak knees. Then Spencer found himself sat down in a chair while Derek left the room, saying he was going to go take his run.

For a long moment Spencer just sat there, staring at the pattern in the wood on the table. It wasn’t until he heard the laughter behind him that he started to wake up. Blood instantly rushed to his cheeks. He turned his head, finding the three Derek women watching him in amusement.

Sara walked over to the counter, grabbing Spencer’s coffee cup and bringing it to set by him. “Here, Spencer. You look like you could use a stiff drink, but it’s still early in the day for that. You’ll have to settle for coffee.” She teased him.

He blinked down at the coffee and then back up at her. Slowly his brain was coming back to life. _Damn, that man knows how to turn me on like the flip of a switch. Damn him for doing that to me! I’m going to kill him for this_ he thought to himself. Then, he corrected that thought _No, I’m going to, how does Garcia put it? Jump his bones. I’m going to jump his bones and THEN I’ll kill him._

Sara took a seat beside him, a coffee cup of her own in her hands. He hadn’t even realized she’d moved away, or that the other two women had moved to the stove to make the rest of breakfast and grant them a little privacy. They both knew what Sara wanted to do. Once the boys had been in bed, the girls had talked for a few hours in Fran’s room.

“Um, Spencer?” Sara interrupted his train of thoughts. Blinking, he turned to look at her. With a little sigh he picked up his mug and took a drink. Between Derek’s _attack_ and the lack of caffeine, he wasn’t at his best yet. But he tried. “Yes?”

“I, um, I wanted to say something to you. It’s kind of important to me and, well, I need you to just listen for a bit and let me get this out, ok?”

Now that had a sobering effect on him. Spencer sat up a little straighter, curling his legs up on the chair so that he was cross legged. He cradled his cup between both hands, taking one more bracing drink before giving her a nod. Part of him didn’t want to hear this, but the other part could see that this was important to her.

She gave him a slightly nervous look before she started talking. “The thing is, first and foremost, I owe you an apology. You’ve been nothing but kind to me since I came in the house and I’ve been, well…”

“A brat?” Desiree supplied from the kitchen. Fran smacked her with a spoon and the girl quieted down.

A corner of Sara’s mouth quirked. “Brat, yeah. That’s one word for it. The point is, you didn’t deserve it, Spencer. You didn’t deserve those things I said about you or the way I treated you or…or any of it. Honestly, you seem like a great guy, and you make Derek happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen him. For that alone, I should have been willing to give you a chance. I’m sorry I didn’t. It’s just…” Here she trailed off, looking down at her hands, “You just…I mean…”

A little piece of the puzzle clicked into place for Spencer and he spoke without thinking about it. “I remind you of someone, don’t I?” he asked.

Sara looked up with surprise. Her mouth dropped open for just a second before she closed it and bit her lip. The heartache that swam into her eyes was answer enough.

Never had Spencer been a very tactile person. Being with Derek had helped him fix that some, but he still preferred not to touch or be touched. Right then, he knew that it was what Sara needed. He reached a hand out, taking hold of one of hers. She let go of her mug with surprise and let him hold her hand. Their eyes locked. Spencer gave her a gentle smile. “Someone hurt you. I’d hypothesize, based off of the comments that you said to me, that he was a rather intelligent person. Maybe not like me in looks, but more that he was intelligent. He probably lorded it over you, made you feel inferior. You would say something to him and he would look at you with such pity for what he considered your stupidity.”

Tears were standing in Sara’s eyes now. “Yes.” She whispered.

“In the end, you found that he was only using you. He left you for someone else, but not before making you think it was your entire fault that he was leaving. Because you weren’t smart enough, weren’t pretty enough, just weren’t good enough. He was wrong, though. It wasn’t you, Sara. It never was. It was always him. You were just his victim in this.”

When Spencer saw the tears start to spill down her cheeks, he gave her hand a squeeze. All of his attention was focused on her and so he didn’t see Derek standing in the entry, listening and watching.

“So this is what profiling is like, huh?” Sara gave a watery laugh. “You could look at me and just see all this. See what a fool I was.”

“No, no.” Spencer rushed to reassure her. He let go of his cup with his other hand and brought that hand over so hers was sheltered between his. “That’s not what I see when I look at you at all, Sara. Do you want to know what I see when I look at you? What I’ve seen from the start?” He waited for her to nod before he continued. “You’re a kind girl, first and foremost. The angry words you said to me always put a pained look on your face as if you hated saying them. You’re loving and loyal. Family is the most important thing for you. You are smart, no matter what this man told you. You also have a big heart. You’re a beautiful, kind, intelligent girl that some man is going to be very lucky to have in his life one day. Just because this one was too stupid to see it doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone out there who is right for you.”

“I thought he was the right one.”

“ _You've got to have someone who loves your body. Who doesn't define you, but sees you. Who loves what he sees. Who you don't have to struggle to be good enough for_.” Spencer quoted. He smiled at the look she gave him. “That’s Deb Caletti from The Secret Life of Prince Charming. It’s true, too. And one day, you’ll find that.”

Bringing her free hand up, Sara wiped at her cheeks and gave a watery chuckle. “Look at me.” She said with a smile. “I was supposed to be apologizing to you and here I am, a total mess.” She squeezed his hand before rising to her feet. The two let go of one another. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go clean myself up.” She said. But before she went, she stopped and turned, bending enough to give Spencer a hug. “Welcome to the family, Spencer. I’m going to be proud to call you my brother.” And then, like a flash, she took off down the hallway.

Spencer stared after her, feeling something inside of him heal just the tiniest bit. He felt a hand settle on his shoulder and looked up to see Fran smiling down at him. She said nothing, only gave him a smile so warm and loving that it warmed his heart.

A sound from the entryway finally alerted him to Derek’s presence. Dressed in his running clothes, Derek moved over to him. As Fran stepped away, Derek put his fingers under Spencer’s chin and tipped his head up. “That was a nice thing you did for her, pretty boy. Thank you.”

As Derek went off to go take his run and the other two women continued to make breakfast, Spencer drank his coffee and smiled.

* * *

By the time five o’clock rolled around, the Morgan clan and Spencer had piled into Derek’s truck and had made their way over for dinner at Dave’s house. When they pulled up, Spencer saw the others were already there, their cars parked out front. He leaned forward and reached to the front to smack Derek’s arm as his lover turned the car off. “I told you that you’d make us late!” he scolded.

“Aw, we’re not really late, Spencer.” Derek argued while he climbed out of the car.

Spencer got out as well, helping Fran step down first and then offering his hand to the other two girls. “What are we then, Derek?” He shot back at him.

As he came around the hood, Derek grinned at him, sticking his arm out for his mom to take hold of. “We weren’t late. The others were just early, kid.”

Laughter followed them up the walk and to the front door. When Spencer knocked, it didn’t take long before the door was opened. JJ stood there, grinning happily at them, dressed in a festive red dress with a green belt on. “About time you got here!” She cried.

The group moved inside, exchanging hugs and laughter before she led them to the living room. Jack and Henry were playing on the floor, racing cars around and laughing. Penelope sat with Kevin on the couch, the two of them laughing over some story that Emily was telling.  Dave, Aaron and Will were over by the sidebar, serving themselves some hot buttered rum. When the new arrivals were seen, everyone rose to hug and greet them. Fran, Desiree and Sara were welcome easily by the crowd. Derek gave his hugs on the way to the tree, where he took out the presents in the bag on his back and set them with the others under the tree. Spencer found his arms full as he was hugged by one person after the next. He couldn’t help but laugh when Penelope hugged him. The woman was definitely festive in her red and green dress, ornament earrings, and with a bright red bow in her hair.

“Welcome to bedlam, kiddo.” Dave teased him, wrapping him in a tight hug. “You’re looking good.”

“Thanks, Dave.” Ever since Dave had unofficially ‘adopted’ Spencer, he’d insisted the younger man call him Dave instead of Rossi. In Dave’s words, he was now part of the Rossi ‘brood’, so he couldn’t call him by his last name. Spencer stepped back from the crowd and smiled a little to himself as he watched everyone talk and laugh all at the same time. He was part of quite a few ‘broods’ now. _Dave’s adopted you as a nephew and brought you into the Rossi brood. Derek’s family has made you part of the Morgan ‘clan’. Then you have the BAU family. You’re not just Spencer Reid anymore. You don’t have just your mom. You have so much more._ It was a pleasant feeling.

Dave stepped up and clapped his hands to call everyone’s attention. “Now that we’re all here.” He called out, grinning. “Let’s eat!”

That was met with a unanimous cry of agreement. The party was moved into the dining room and everyone was settled around the table. There was no surprise when Dave took the head, but it made Derek laugh out loud when the senior profiler pointedly told his ‘nephew’ “You sit up here by me, kiddo. Come on.”

Once everyone was in their seats, they bowed their heads at Dave’s request for the Christmas prayer. The Italian words washed over Spencer, warm and sweet. He had a feeling he was the only other one at the table who understood what Dave was saying, but all of them felt the warmth of the meaning as Dave thanked God for the blessings they had and the family they were.

As soon as the prayer was done, everyone dug in. It was one of the first meals Spencer had shared with this many people that he could recall that he didn’t feel nervous or uncomfortable. There was no nervous twitching or self-conscious head bowing or anything like that. He listened to the stories that were told of past holidays and he laughed with the rest of them.

 _This is what family is supposed to be like_ Spencer thought to himself as he picked at a roll. Looking around the table, he memorized all the faces present, storing this memory away. This was a memory he would cherish for all time. This was what Christmas should have been like when he was a kid. He felt Derek’s hand settle on his thigh under the table and he smiled over at him, seeing his lover defending himself in some story with Desiree about sneaking into their presents when they were kids. Fran was staring at them both with a scolding look on her face and the others were laughing.

At one point as everyone was finishing their food, Henry escaped from his mom, running around the table to come over to where Spencer was. The doctor didn’t miss a beat, picking the kid up and depositing him on his lap with a reassuring smile at JJ, silently letting her know that it was ok. She winked at him and went back to talking with Aaron.

“Uncle Penner.” Henry tugged on his shirt to draw his attention. When Spencer looked down, the young boy gave him a stern look and demanded “Story. Story time!”

“Story, huh?” Flicking a finger over his Godson’s nose, Spencer smiled at him. “You’ve got better manners than that, Henry. What are you supposed to say?”

The little boy heaved a huge sigh before he turned his puppy dog eyes on Spencer. “Pwease?”

Chuckling, Spencer gave him a brief hug. “I supposed I could. Would you like to hear ‘The Night Before Christmas’?”

“Oh, please, Uncle Penner!” Jack cried out.

Penelope clapped her hands and leaned around the others to look at Spencer. “Yeah, Reid! Read to us!”

And so Spencer found himself on the living room couch, a kid on either side of him, the rest of his family sprawled around Dave’s enormous living room. It took Spencer a moment to clear the nerves out of his throat at having such a large audience. He settled back, tucking Henry underneath one arm, even putting his other arm around Jack, who surprised him by snuggling in just like Henry did. Spencer closed his eyes and started the story he knew by heart. “T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…”

At some point in the story he saw a flash go off and knew that Penelope or someone else had snapped a picture. Honestly, he didn’t mind. He just kept reciting, his warm voice filling the room.

When the story was done, Henry clapped his hands, demanding “More!” much to everyone’s amusement.

“Why don’t we sing some carols before the presents are opened?” Fran suggested. She was eyeing the piano in the corner. “I assume someone knows how the play that beautiful piano?”

The others were surprised when Aaron rose and offered her a smile. “I do.”

It charmed Spencer to watch his boss settle in at the piano, Jack sitting beside him on the bench. The others gathered close, standing beside and behind the piano. Derek and Spencer moved behind it, their arms resting on the top. JJ, Will and Henry stood to one side of Aaron while Dave, Emily and Penelope stood on the side by Jack with Kevin stepping up behind Penelope and putting an arm around her waist. Desiree, Sara and Fran moved to join the boys behind the piano. They made a perfect circle.

“What should I play?” Aaron asked the crowd.

Jack answered quickly, requesting “Jingle Bells!”

And so it was that the BAU team and their families found themselves singing Jingle Bells as their friend and Unit Chief played on the piano. Song after song they sang, smiling with one another, enjoying the love around them. After they finished their fourth song, Will turned toward JJ and took Henry from her. “Sing for us, _cherie_. I love listening to you sing.”

JJ flushed but she smiled at him. “Fine, but I’m not singing a solo.” She announced cheerfully. Quickly she made her way around the piano to where Derek and Spencer were. She nudged Derek out of the way with a laugh and stepped up to take his place by Spencer’s side, her arm going around his waist. Realizing what she was planning, his cheeks heated and he started to shake his head. “Oh, no. No, JJ. No way.”

“Oh yes, Spencer.” She looked down at Aaron and didn’t give Spencer time to argue. “Play Winter Wonderland, please, Hotch.”

The music started and Spencer felt JJ’s grip tighten on his waist. There was no way he was getting out of this. JJ started out singing first, her voice sweet and light and warm. “Sleigh bells ring, are you listening. In the lane, snow is glistening. A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

Spencer glared at her but he sang the lines that came next, shocking everyone in the room as his beautiful tenor sounded. “Gone away is the bluebird. Here to stay is a new bird. He sings a love song, as we go along. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

They looked at each other and sang the next lines together. “In the meadow we can build a snowman. Then pretend that he is Parson Brown. He'll say: Are you married? We'll say: No man. But you can do the job when you're in town.”

This time when Spencer sang, his scowl was gone. He wrapped his arm around JJ’s shoulders and held this woman who was like a sister to him close to his side. “Later on, we'll conspire. As we dream by the fire. To face unafraid, the plans that we've made. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

JJ tipped her head to smile back at him. “In the meadow we can build a snowman and pretend that he's a circus clown. We'll have lots of fun with mister snowman, until the other kids knock him down.”

Together, the two finished the song. “When it snows, ain't it thrilling? Though your nose gets a chilling. We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, walking in a winter wonderland. Walking in a winter wonderland. Walking in a winter wonderland.”

Applause filled the living room. Fran stepped up to Spencer’s free side. “Oh, sing us another one, honey!” She told him happily. “You’ve got a beautiful voice. Can you sing us one more?”

“Just one last song before we do presents.” Aaron told them. He smiled fondly at his son’s head. “I’ve got to get short stack here to bed before Santa comes.”

Seeing all the eager faces turned to him, Spencer blushed, but he couldn’t do anything but agree. “Of course. There is one we haven’t sung yet. Hotch? Could you play Silent Night?”

As the piano filled the room again, Spencer let the words pour past his lips, closing his eyes as he put himself into the song. He opened them again, looking at the faces around him, enjoying the way they were smiling as he sang. JJ moved over to stand with Will again, one of his arms lifting to tuck her against his side and her arm coming up to wrap around him and their son. Emily and Penelope were smiling at one another and Kevin was holding Penelope from behind. Derek stepped up to stand behind his Mama and Spencer, putting his arms around their waists, and the girls stood by their mother.

Dave moved to stand on Spencer’s free side, grinning at him in a happy, proud sort of way, his eyes taking in the room like he was the pleased patriarch of their group. Jack snuggled in to his Daddy’s side while Aaron glanced over at Emily, the look exchanged between them not lost on the genius. So much was there in that look, though he doubted either one was ready to admit it to the other.

As the last of the lyrics faded and the music ended, Spencer smiled widely at his family. This was turning out to be the best Christmases ever.


	14. Chapter 14

Spencer woke to the bed bouncing so hard he was almost launched from Derek’s arms. The grip around his waist tightened to hold him in place, anchoring him in the safety of Derek’s embrace. That was almost enough to keep the panic back. But Spencer’s eyes still shot open wide with terror and his whole body locked down in preparation for whatever it was. When he saw the two women now sitting on the bed, he couldn’t do anything but gape at them.

“You little shits.” Derek mumbled against the back of Spencer’s neck. “Get the hell out of our bed.”

Desiree’s laugh filled the room and Sara snickered. “Come on, you two! It’s already _six_!” Sara exclaimed in a loud whine. “We want to open presents!”

Now that he knew he was safe, Spencer relaxed his muscles. He deliberately rolled over, presenting them his back as he snuggled up against Derek’s chest. His lover had been spooning behind him, so his on-the-side position now offered Spencer the perfect shelter to snuggle down and hide in. He felt Derek chuckle and hug him a little closer, kissing the top of his head. “We aint ready to get up yet.” Derek finally said with a yawn. “Go away.”

“But, but, _Derek_!” Desiree whined. Her pout was evident in her words. “We can’t open presents without you two and we want to open them _now_!”

Her loud voice had Spencer scowling against Derek’s chest. “Be quiet.” He grumbled to the general room. “Go ‘way. Don’t wanna get up.”

His grumbles only made the girls laugh. His scowl grew worse when he heard Sara say “Aww. He’s so cute when he’s sleepy, Derek! He sounds like a little kid!”

Uncurling one arm from his snuggled position, Spencer lifted his hand just enough for the girls to see it and gave them his middle finger. Screw being nice. He was tired, had been woken up by insane women jumping in his bed, and now he was being teased and called ‘cute’ and a ‘little kid’. A man could only handle so much first thing in the morning, Christmas or no Christmas.

As Sara started to practically shriek with laughter, Desiree snorted and leaned forward. “Come on, Spencer. Mom’s got coffee out there waiting for you. That Christmas blend kind you like so much. The pot was just finishing when we came back, so it’s fresh…”

At her words, Derek groaned and Spencer lifted his head. They both knew the girls wouldn’t leave, just as they knew the promise of coffee would get Spencer out of bed. When the two started to sit up, the girls cheered happily. Spencer found his hands grasped by Desiree, who was pulling him to get him out of bed, just as Sara was pulling on Derek. The two weren’t even given time to dress and were dragged out in the pajama pants they’d worn to bed. Spencer thought to himself that these women had seen him shirtless more than his team ever had.

When they reached the living room, Spencer finally managed to break his hands free. He looked around the room and, totally ignoring the tree and presents, tried to find the coffee he’d been promised. When he realized it wasn’t there, he scowled. Without another word he turned and left the living room, hearing Sara call “Spencer! Come see what’s in your stocking!”

He didn’t even have to reply. Derek’s warm voice answered for him. “Sara, not even presents can beat out coffee in that boy’s world.”

Well, duh. That was an obvious statement. The only thing that ever beat out coffee in the morning was Derek, though Spencer still liked to tease him that coffee was better first thing in the morning. It was their running joke between them now.

He found Fran standing in the kitchen, bent over the oven to put the turkey in. She got it in and looked up right as Spencer reached the counter where the coffee was. His mug was sitting there. “Morning, Spencer. I’m sorry the girls woke you two up. I didn’t realize what they were doing until I heard them jump on your bed. I hope they didn’t startle you too much.”

For a second he stared down at his mug, not answering her. His coffee mug was waiting right there by the pot, already poured, the color indicating that his cream and sugar had been added. Picking it up, he took a tentative sip. His eyes closed and he gave a pleasurable little hum. Perfect. A hand patting his cheek made his eyes open. He found Fran standing there, smiling at him. “Merry Christmas, Spencer.”

Riding on impulse, Spencer leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Fran’s cheek. “Merry Christmas, Fran.” Then he was turning and heading towards the living room again, slightly embarrassed with himself. Because he was walking away, he didn’t see the way that Fran smiled after him, one hand on her cheek as she thought to herself what a wonderful man her son had found.

It only took a minute after Spencer was settled on the couch before a stocking was tossed at his feet by Sara. “Check out what’s in your stocking, Spencer.” She told him, a candy cane sticking out of the side of her mouth. She sat in the middle of the floor, her own stocking in her lap. Desiree was beside her, digging through hers, pulling out a pair of earrings that had her grinning.

Derek sat on the other end of the couch, legs curled up like Spencer’s, his stocking sitting against him. He offered his lover a smile. Shifting, he moved to the middle cushion before stretching over and stealing a morning kiss. “Merry Christmas, baby boy.”

“Mm.” Spencer smiled and kissed him again. “Merry Christmas to you too, honey.”

About that time was when Fran bustled into the room, her own cup of coffee in her hands. The girls watched her avidly as she made her way to the love seat and then settled herself down on it. As soon as she was comfortable, Desiree almost dove for the tree, making Spencer snort into his coffee cup. The girls were like little kids, they were so excited about the presents. Presents, Spencer saw, that had grown overnight. Someone had added quite a few more underneath the tree.

Almost instantly Desiree tried to start opening a gift. Fran cleared her throat, making the girl grin and duck her head a little. “Fine, fine.” Desiree grumbled good-naturedly. Then she was back to the pile under the tree. Spencer turned curious eyes to Derek, who smiled at him and explained “Mama doesn’t let us open anything until they’re all passed out.”

Again Spencer brought his coffee cup up, this time to hide his little smile. It was fun, to learn these little traditions the Morgan family held for Christmas. Not having experienced these himself, he loved seeing it now. Loved to watch the way that Sara almost glowed as her pile grew, or how Desiree pretended to grumble because Sara seemed to be getting all the gifts so far. When the first gift was placed in front of him with Derek’s name written on it, Spencer smiled. When another joined it, his eyebrows shot up, but he said nothing.

Soon every person in the room had a stack of gifts. Spencer couldn’t help but stare at his, not quite sure how to process this. Sure, he had bought gifts for everyone here. A couple, actually. And he’d bought gifts for his friends. But he hadn’t expected to end up with a pile of gifts in return from everyone. It was enough to leave him speechless; and that was something that rarely ever happened.

Derek settled onto the other end of the couch, kicking a foot over to nudge Spencer. “Put the coffee down and open up, pretty boy.” He teased him. Already Derek was teasing into one of his presents. Eyes scanning the room, Spencer saw that everyone else was opening theirs as well. In that moment, he really felt like a part of the Morgan family. _These people are quite a family. And they’ve pretty much completely accepted me into this unit. I don’t know how to be a part of this kind of family. My family never sat in front of a tree in our pajamas, happily opening presents. My mom never would have worn the reindeer pants Fran is wearing, or the matching red pajama shirt. Our Christmases were never like this._ But, he realized, that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy this one.

He set his cup on the table finally, after draining the last drink, and reached for a medium sized box in front of him. As he picked it up, he saw Sara opening the gift he’d got for her, something that had been last minute and was something JJ had assured him that Sara would love after the story she’d told him. _“Every girl needs to feel pretty after a man treats her like crap. Reminds her that she’s still pretty and she’ll find herself someone someday.”_ JJ had told him.

It made his lips curve when he saw her open the little box and gape at what she found inside. “Oh!” She exclaimed loudly, drawing all eyes to her. Her own wide eyes lifted and locked on Spencer. Then, to his utter shock, she launched up from the floor and to the couch, wrapping him in a tight hug. “Thanks, Spencer!” He was grateful he’d already put his coffee down as he awkwardly hugged her back. She released him as abruptly as she’d grabbed him and darted back to the floor, pulling out what was in the box to show Desiree. “Look at this!” In her hand was two passes to an exclusive spa that JJ had hooked him up with. They were good for two days of total pampering. Desiree’s jaw dropped when she saw them. Then her eyes went to Spencer. “Damn, boy!” Desiree teased him. “You realize mine better be good too or I’m going to be jealous?”

He gave her a nervous little grin. What he’d gotten for them, he was extremely nervous about. He was never comfortable buying things for people anyways but especially for people he didn’t know well enough to know what they’d like. But he had remembered from a conversation with Derek a long time ago that Desiree was a quiet opera fan; there was just nobody who ever went with her. He still hadn’t opened anything as he watched Desiree dig for her gift from him and rip into it. When she opened the box, her mouth dropped open just slightly.

Nervous again, Spencer chewed his lip. “ _La traviata_ is a wonderful opera. I’ve seen it once before and I was hoping to go to the showing in a couple days. I remember Derek telling me how much you like opera but no one ever would go with you. So I got two tickets, thinking, if you wanted to go, you know…of course, if there’s someone else you want, or if you’re not interested anymore…”

“I love it.” She cut his ramble off. Her eyes were shining when she looked up at him. “This is one of the greatest gifts ever, Spencer. Thank you so much.”

Derek kicked at Spencer’s leg and gave him a mock glare. “Quit showing off, kid. Man, you’re giving out all sorts of awesome gifts. Looks like you shelled out a pretty penny on things. You rich and not telling me?” he teased.

A humorous smile replaced Spencer’s nerves when he looked at Derek. “Remember the case right after I came back where we went to Reno?” He asked innocently. “And Dave and I disappeared for the evening that last night there?”

Laughter came up rich and deep from Derek’s chest. “Oh, man. You’d think Rossi would know better! Tell me you didn’t get banned from anywhere else.”

“Only two.” Spencer flushed a little as Derek laughed even more, his family snickering with him. Fran was the one to ask “Why were you banned, Spencer?” Humor was bright on her face. “And where else are you banned from?”

“I'm banned from casinos in Laughlin, Las Vegas, Pahrump and now a couple in Reno because of my card counting abilities.”*

The laughter carried over for a little longer. Soon everyone was opening their gifts, exclaiming over the things they received, laughing and talking and having a wonderful time. Spencer opened his gifts slowly, savoring them, enjoying the sensation of being where he was. He gathered a stack of gifts next to him that he absolutely loved. Books, some sweaters, gift cards; a new coffee maker with _dual pots_ that made him grin over at Fran, the one who had given it to him. He saved his gift from Derek for last.

Inside the large box were three books. Spencer stared at them, speechless. With gentle hands he reverently lifted the first book out. A first edition copy of The Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales. Next was The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer. Last was a collection of Italian poetry. All three were books that Spencer had lost when Michael had trashed his house. All of them had been books that he’d enjoyed and were a part of his collection. The fact that Derek remembered that, remembered which ones and what edition to get, brought tears to Spencer’s eyes.

A warm hand on his leg brought his eyes up. He looked at Derek, who was sitting beside him now, smiling. “I know it hurt you to lose those books. You love your books quite a bit. So I had Garcia help me find those exact ones. Took us a while, but we got them.”

“Thank you.” Spencer whispered. He leaned in, kissing Derek with all the love he felt, forgetting entirely about the others. “Thank you so much.”

“Anytime, baby boy.”

When they pulled apart, Spencer saw a gift in at Derek’s feet and realized that his lover had reached the gift from him. He, too, had saved his partner’s gift for last. Spencer’s enjoyment turned once more to nerves. He had done the same as Derek, gaining Penelope’s help on his gift, but that didn’t make him any less nervous about it. The first part of the gift was to make Derek smile. The man scooted the box closer, surprised at how heavy it was. Apparently Derek hadn’t noticed that when Desiree brought it over. “What the hell you get me, baby boy? Bricks?” Derek teased him.

Spencer just flashed him a smile before picking up his mug once more and sipping at the cooling liquid. Everyone else was done with their gifts; they were all watching as Derek took the top off his box. When he first looked inside, he grinned happy. Then he reached in and pulled out the tool box. “Damn, boy. You do listen sometimes.” Turning, Derek winked and then kissed him. He’d been complaining about needing new tools for the longest time.

Chuckling, Spencer shifted a little, still nervous. The part he was nervous about was inside. “Will helped with that.” He admitted without shame. “You know I never would have been able to. Um, why don’t you, you know, look and make sure it’s all what you want.” _Well now, that wasn’t subtle. Idiot._

Smiling, Derek set the toolbox down and opened it. There on the top tray, nestled in the tools, was a small box. The older man pulled it out, opening it slowly. There, nestled inside, was a silver necklace. At the end was what they called a guitar pick instead of the standard dog tag. Carefully Derek pulled it out. Nerves eating away at him, Spencer couldn’t stop himself from rambling while Derek looked the necklace over. “I wasn’t sure if it was something you’d be comfortable wearing or not, but I recalled when we talked one time about wishing we could have something to symbolize our relationship with one another that wouldn’t get us in trouble at work. I remembered how upset you were that we could even get promise style rings without setting off suspicion. So I got together with Garcia and we found this style of necklace. The letters are done in the ‘interlocking monogram’ style so no one will really be able to read them unless they’re right up close. Then they’d see the D & S that’s there.”

“What’s this on the other side, Spencer?” Derek asked in a hoarse voice.

Unsure as to what the tone was to Derek’s voice, Spencer gripped his mug. “It’s Italian. A saying my mother used to say to me when I was younger. It seemed…appropriate. It’s ‘ _Più della mia stessa vita’_.”

“What does that mean?”

“More than my own life.” Spencer whispered the words.

The room was quiet for a long moment as Derek took the necklace from the box and put it on. Then he leaned over, his hands coming up to cup Spencer’s face oh-so-gently, pulling him in for a kiss so sweet and so full of love that Spencer felt tears burn his eyes and his body seemed to just melt. When the two pulled apart, the both of them were smiling. “I love you, Spencer Reid.” Derek murmured to him. They always used last names when they were being sweet. Spencer rubbed his cheek against Derek’s hand. “I love you too, Derek Morgan.”

When the two pulled apart, their smiles stayed in place. Spencer didn’t see Fran rise from the couch, smiling at her son and his lover, heading to the kitchen to check on some of the food.

After a pause of silence, Sara shifted over to lean against the couch near where Spencer sat. She reached up, flicking her hand over the stocking still in his lap. “You still haven’t dug in your stocking, Spencer.” Sara teased him. With a chuckle, she poked his leg. “Come on. Be a kid and eat some chocolate for breakfast. Look in your stocking.”

“Did you know that no one really knows for sure why stockings are associated with Christmas?” Spencer said absently as he obediently put his cup down and picked his stocking up.

Desiree folded her arms on the coffee table and rested her head there, looking at Spencer. “Really? No one knows why?”

“While there aren’t any written records of the origin of the Christmas stocking, there’re popular legends that attempt to tell its history.” His voice was still slightly absent as he started to tell the story. “One such legend says that very long ago, there lived a poor man and his three very beautiful daughters. He had no money to get his daughters married, and he was worried what would happen to them after his death. Saint Nicholas was passing through when he heard the villagers talking about the girls. St. Nicholas wanted to help, but knew that the old man wouldn't accept charity. He decided to help in secret. He waited until it was night and crept through the chimney.”

Pulling out a new watch from his stocking, Spencer grinned for a second, not realizing that all eyes were on him, waiting for the rest of the story. Even Fran had come back in to listen to the tale. After a second he continued to talk.

“He had three bags of gold coins with him, one for each girl. As he was looking for a place to keep those three bags, he noticed stockings of the three girls that were hung over the mantelpiece for drying. He put one bag in each stocking and off he went. When the girls and their father woke up the next morning, they found the bags of gold coins and were of course, overjoyed. The girls were able to get married and live happily ever after.”

Fran sighed softly. “That’s a nice story, honey.”

Looking at the new watch, which was set to the appropriate time, Spencer realized exactly how much time had passed. _Shit! I’m going to be late! Shit, shit!_ He cursed mentally. To the surprise of everyone, he started putting all his presents quickly onto the couch. “Spencer?” Derek asked. His expression was curious. “Everything ok?”

“It’s almost nine!” Spencer exclaimed. Finally clearing his lap, he rose to his feet. “I’m going to be late if I don’t hop in the shower and get ready to go!”

Realization dawned on Derek’s face. He rose too, clearing some things out of the way. “Go on, sugar. I’ll get some things cleaned up in here.”

“Where’re you going? It’s Christmas morning!” Desiree exclaimed.

Realizing that the others didn’t understand, Spencer froze as he was making his way out of the living room. For a second he debated what to say. _So far, they’ve been ok with everything you’ve told them. None of them have judged you for anything. Do you think they’ll judge you for this? Lying to the family of the man you love just isn’t…it doesn’t feel right_. That summed it up perfectly in Spencer’s mind. Decision made, he lifted his chin, refusing to let himself be ashamed. Derek always told him this was nothing to be ashamed of. “I have a meeting to attend at ten.”

Sara gave him a curious look. “Meeting?”

“Yes. I attend regular NA meetings, but I absolutely never miss a Christmas meeting. They’re designed to help recovering addicts get through the holidays. I haven’t missed a single Christmas meeting since I’ve been clean.”

He expected questions. He expected someone to say something to him about his addiction, or about leaving the house on Christmas. Anything. What he didn’t expect was for Fran to nod at him and smile as she said “Good for you. Well, if you don’t want to be late, you better hurry. And be home in time for dinner, dear.”

With a wondering look at Fran Derek, Spencer headed off down the hallway. _None of them are what I quite expected. I should have known. Derek doesn’t ever react typically to a situation. Apparently that’s a family trait._ Still, he found himself smiling as he headed to the shower. This was shaping up to be an interesting Christmas.

* * *

After the meeting, it felt like a small weight had been lifted from Spencer’s shoulders. He always felt that way after a meeting, and even more so when it was the holidays. But it left him with a nice, peaceful feeling today. _Maybe it’s not just the meeting. Maybe it’s knowing what’s waiting at home for me._ He thought to himself. Derek and his family. Friends. There should be friends showing up around this time. _No, not friends. More family. The team is just as much of a family to me as Sara and Desiree and Fran are to Derek._ Wasn’t that a warming thought?

When he pulled into the driveway, Spencer saw he’d been right; others were arriving. Emily was already there, and Dave was pulling in right behind Spencer.

Climbing from the car, Spencer shut the door and smiled back at Dave as the senior profiler stepped out of his car. He waited for Dave to reach him, smiling when Dave reached out and wrapped him in a hug. “Merry Christmas, kiddo.” Dave said when he pulled back, after kissing each of Spencer’s cheeks.

“Merry Christmas, Dave.”

“You enjoying your holiday so far?”

That was one way of putting it. Spencer leaned against the car, mindless of the cold for the moment. His eyes drifted to the living room window where he had a clear view of those inside. Sara and Desiree seemed to be laughing and dancing together to whatever music was on. Emily and Derek were talking, drinking coffee by the Christmas tree. Fran came bustling in, a snack tray in her hands that she set on the coffee table. Someone said something to her that made the woman throw her head back and laugh just as Spencer had seen Derek do countless times.

Realizing that he hadn’t answered Dave’s question, Spencer looked back at his adopted Uncle. “It’s been a definite experience.” In that moment, Spencer felt comfortable enough to say things that typically he kept locked away inside. “Holidays like this, they didn’t happen at my house. I made Christmas dinner a few times after Dad left, but Mom rarely knew what day of the week it was, let alone that it was a holiday. Seeing how they interact together, their holiday traditions, is both a warm and wonderful experience.”

“They seem like quite a bunch.” Just as content to stand and watch for a moment, Dave leaned against the car beside him.

Spencer nodded at his words. “They are. And the most interesting part is that they don’t even realize it. To them, this is family. This is normal. They don’t know what it’s like not to have it there. And they make me feel a part of it so easily.”

Bumping their shoulders, Dave grinned. “You’ve got a family now that’s here for you, kiddo. You’re going to have to start getting used to that.”

“I am, slowly. I don’t think I’ll ever stop being amazed at it, though. When you’ve been without something for so long, you appreciate it even more once you find it. It just, it almost seems too good to be true. This time last year, I…” Spencer had to pause for a second to clear his throat. This wasn’t something he liked to talk about—he hadn’t even told Derek this yet—but it seemed right. In this moment, it seemed right. “I thought maybe I’d have a nice holiday with Michael. The day ended with two bruised ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and well…some of the scars on my back.” Clearing his throat, Spencer tried to push that memory back before the images popped up. He didn’t need to ruin the day. That hadn’t been the point of saying this. “I guess it just makes me appreciate what I have this year even more.”

Dave slung his arm over Spencer’s shoulder, hugging him close. He said nothing about the story Spencer had revealed. The both of them knew that there were no words for it.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Dave gave his friend a smile. “Let’s go join the family, kiddo.”

That sounded like a good idea. Pushing off from the car, Spencer moved with Dave, the older man’s arm still around his shoulders. Ahead of him, Spencer saw everyone—his family—still inside. For the first time, this family unit was his, waiting for him to come home. He wasn’t an observer looking in someone else’s window, wishing to be a part of things. This family was his.

With a warm feeling in his heart, Spencer stepped into his home.

THE END


End file.
